Bright Eyes
by themessofadreamer
Summary: I would have done anything, but it always was out of my hands. Despite everything, even if she might been the best yet the worst decision I have ever made, I still don't think I will ever regret falling in love with everything she did and those beautiful big and bright brown eyes.
1. The loneliness of a well saved secret

**Hello there again, people. **

**If you're here, it means you're going to give me a try to entertain you for a few minutes and for that, thank you. **

**Now, this is something that has been in my head for around two years, and it probably is not going to be my best writing (growing up and learning, you know) but it doesn't get more sincere than this so here it goes.**

**This first chapter is a little short, but the rest will be longer. Italics are flashbacks, lyrics to songs sometimes and so. **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this story. The credit of the characters' names and songs used to tell this story goes to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight.**

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"_I want to see you." She whispered, as she lied in her bed and letting me to see only a side of her face through my computer's screen, closing her tired eyes for a moment. "I really want to see you." _

"_You're seeing me right now, bright eyes." I answered softly, making her smile a little. _

"_You know what I meant." She opens her eyes and looks at me with her sad yet so beautiful brown eyes, breaking my heart with that simple act. _

"_Just 2 more months, love. You'll come over here and I'll be all yours for two weeks."_

_She sighed, clearly unpleased. "Then it'll be another two 2 months until spring break and then another two months until summer break. I don't think I'll be able to handle so much time without you." _

"_You have no idea of what I'd do to be next to you right now, Mitch, and maybe right now we can't, but later on we'll be able to be together every day. We just have to be patient, ok?" She closed her eyes again and did her best to nod her head while she was still lying in her bed. "Now go to sleep, beautiful, because you look really tired and you have to be up in 6 hours. " She giggled._

"_And you in like 3 hours, yet you're not complaining."_

"_There's no reason to complain if staying up means talking to you, Mitchie." She gives me her sweetest smile. "Goodnight, bright eyes."_

"_Goodnight, Lex."_

_IIIIIIIIIIIIIII_

"Alex!" I looked up from blank page of the notebook I had been starting while I was lost in my thoughts, and my eyes found my best friend Harper, standing right in front of me, her hands placed on her hips, as she looked at me with a worried expression in her face.

"Yes?"

"Juliet just called to invite us to watch the new Spiderman movie." I nodded my head in understanding. "Everyone is going. Do you want to go?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing. "No, I don't think so." She raised an eyebrow, noticing the fatigue in my voice. "But you go, have fun; I heard it's a pretty good movie."

"Alright…" She whispered, sitting next to me and placing her hand in my knee. "Is everything okay, Lex? You seem kind of down lately." I nodded, again.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it; I probably will just catch a cold or something."

She sighed, not believing a word I said. "Alright then, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but I'm here if you need anything, okay?"

"Thank you, Harp." I said, giving her another weak smile.

As soon as Harper left, I stared once again at the white paper sheet of my notebook that had been sitting in my lap for the longest of times, in my attempt to find some inspiration out of the intense feelings I had, but everything just seemed wrong, senseless and unimportant to me at that moment, only being able to ask myself over and over again the exact same question that had been haunting me for two months now.

_Why?_

The worst thing of all is that nobody knew about it. I had kept it to myself, afraid of what people knowing it could have caused, and now the feeling was destroying my insides, leaving with nothing but the stupid sensation of never being good enough for anything or anyone.

"This is what you get for being so naïve, Alex Russo, so suck it up." I said to myself, as I closed the notebook giving up, willing to take a walk by the park because even my room was a place I couldn't be at the moment.

There existed just too many memories for me to handle.

It all had started a few months ago, when I was forced to attend my grandparents' anniversary party. My mom knew how much I hated family events –being questioned about every single aspect of your life is not exactly my idea of fun– yet made me go using as an excuse that 'their favorite grandchild couldn't be missing in such an important event'. During that party, as everyone was dancing and having fun, me, like the black sheep of the family that I am, decided to go upstairs and watch it all from the balcony of my grandparents' room, while I listened the music in my phone, counting every hour left for me to go back home. The balcony had a great view of the backyard, where the party was taking place, and from there I could tell that every single boy of the party, including my brothers, Justin and Max, had given all their attention to two girls, sitting in one corner apart from everybody, that I had never seen in my life but none of them seemed to have the guts to ask any of the girls to dance. Rolling my eyes at the boys' stupidity, I got back to my music and got lost into it, until someone came in and tapped my shoulder.

"What do you want?" I said, uninterested, turning around and looking back at the nervous wreck my cousin Brandon was in that moment.

"I need your help." He said, proceeding to explain the situation to me. No mattering how ridiculous the idea sounded, since nobody had the guts to talk to the girls, they wanted me to talk to them –I was the only girl in building aside from them who wasn't dancing or doing some girly stuff– and encourage them to dance with the boys. Knowing that they wouldn't leave me alone until I accepted, I decided to help them and went downstairs with Brandon, getting thumbs up from every boy involved into this as I walked towards the corner where the two mystery girls were sitting in. As the distance was shortened, I was shown why everyone was so interested in them, their beauty being absolutely impossible to ignore..

Nervous because of this recent new information, I looked at the floor as a simple "Girls, the guys want to dance with you" escaped my lips, causing them to giggle.

"Why can't they ask themselves?" One of them asked, with an interesting tone of voice that made me look up to her, finding myself mesmerized by the beauty of the girl with blonde straight hair and shinning blue eyes that had spoken up.

I shrugged. "They just sent the girl to ask."

"Alright, I'll dance with him." The blonde girl said, smirking, as she stood up, smiling to her friend and taking my cousin's hand –who didn't even thank me, by the way–, heading to the dance floor. I looked at them, watching how every guy was mad jealous of my cousin's luck, being only taken away from my thoughts by a soft giggle, followed by the sweetest and most melodic voice I had ever heard in my life.

"Tess always has to do this." I turned around and looked to the other girl. If the blonde girl was stunning, this girl was breathtakingly beautiful. She had this pretty brown wavy hair long to her shoulders, gorgeously defined face features and these lovely brown eyes that had something about them that made it so difficult for me to look away. She looked at me with a little smirk on her face and with her melodic voice said "Are you going to stand there, staring at me, forever?" I blushed furiously as I rapidly looked away; _'stupid, Alex, stupid' _being constantly repeated in my head. "Come on, sit here, I don't want to be alone." I did as I was told and sat next to her, keeping her company.

As I suspected, her friend, Tess, spent the night dancing with every boy in the party, just like I spent the night with her friend, forgetting about everything I was worried earlier, lost in those beautiful brown eyes that resulted so distracting to me. Truth to be told, I don't recall much of what we talked or did that night, but what I do remember –and probably always will remember– is her laugh, her smile and her name, Michelle Torres, or Mitchie, as she told me to call her.

When the night ended, after getting the comments of my surprised parents about how glad they were I was finally a bit social, I realized that Mitchie wouldn't leave my mind and the thoughts of reality decided to hit in that moment: Having the religious family I had, the last thing I could ever think of doing was having a crush in another girl, so I decided to keep Mitchie out of my mind and forget about everything. I'm pretty sure it would have worked if she wouldn't have shown in my life again, a week later, when on a visit to my grandparents, I found her sitting in the dining table with my grandparents, a friend of my grandparents, a woman I didn't know and Tess. That day I learnt she was invited to my grandparents' anniversary because her grandmother was friends with mine and she, her best friend, Tess Tyler, and her mother, Connie Torres, where visiting her from California. My mom didn't lose the opportunity to talk about how I had spent all party talking to Mitchie and soon enough, I was obligated to hang out with Mitchie and Tess for the two weeks they'd be staying, duty that I gladly accepted. The three of us became close, but I always had a special connection with Mitchie that always kept her more interesting to me than Tess.

But the best thing happened around the end of July, one day that Tess decided to hang out with my cousin Brandon and I took Mitchie to my house.

We were in living room of my empty house. She was watching a random movie she had found by switching channels, lying in the couch and eating popcorn and I was sitting in the floor, my back against the couch, writing on my notebook.

"Lex, do you have a boyfriend?" She asked, out of the blue and making me look at her.

"Why are you asking?"

She shrugged. "I'm just curious."

"No, I don't have a boyfriend." I responded and she smiled. "Do you?"

"Nope." She simply responded. "What do you like the most about me, Lex?" She asked, a few moments later and making me raise an eyebrow.

"Are you even paying attention to the movie, Mitchie?" She threw popcorn at me.

"Answer the question."

Before I knew it, the words "your incredibly beautiful and mesmerizing deep brown eyes" found their way out of my mouth, causing to close my eyes in embarrassment of what I just had said and covering my red face with my notebook.

"You're so cute." She said, giggling, making me blush even harder. She focused on her movie again as I mentally slapped myself.

Later on, when the movie had finished, she went to my room and brought back my guitar with her, sitting on the floor with me as she handed me the guitar.

"Play something for me." She simply asked.

I strummed a few chords, looking down at the fret board. "Okay, but just so you know, I don't sing at all." I looked up at her. "So I might just play."

"Alright, sounds good to me."

I played for her 'Yellow' by Coldplay and I quietly sang along with the chords I was playing, as she looked me with such a cute look in her eyes that made me a miss a few chords.

"You're pretty good, Lex, I wouldn't be surprised if one day I see you on my TV" She commented as I finished and I rested the guitar on the couch. "It was beautiful."

"Thank you." I whispered, looking into her eyes and losing myself in them, staying like this, just starting at each other, for a moment. "Well then, you do have beautiful eyes." And that was all it took for her to lead in and kiss me. Surprised, I didn't even get time to react when she pulled away and freaked out.

"Oh my god I'm sorry I shouldn't have done it I really meant to it just happened I'm sorry!" She said so fast and without any space between words that I barely caught it.

I brought her to me and held her in my arms, in an attempt to calm her down. "Shh, Mitch, it's okay" She looked up. "It really is, I promise."

"How do you don't want me to kiss you when you're looking at me like that?" She whispered, more for herself than for me and kissed me again, this time letting her kiss be responded.

Knowing really well how wrong it was, how difficult it was going to be and how much I shouldn't, I asked her to be with me until she had to go back to California, telling myself a week wouldn't hurt anyone, keeping it as a secret that only Tess knew about and that was worth all the hiding we had to do every day of that week. Long story short, I tried so hard to not get too attached to Mitchie and failed so miserably that by the time they had to go back to California, I couldn't just let her go and end whatever we had like that. I wanted and _needed _to try as much as I could to keep it, so without thinking, letting my heart take over me, I just asked her to keep our relationship, promising that via Skype, letters, emails, phone calls and texting, we could make it through until winter break, when she would be coming back to New York.

Oh, long distance relationships, the hardest of all type of relationships.

I took my phone out of my pocket once I settled down on the grass of the park I had ended up, placing the ear buds on its place and pressing play on the screen, trying to lose myself in the music, which had been my only friend during all this time.

"_What happened to forever?, I'll try to make things better, If you would be my only one…" _sang Tom Higgenson in my ear, making me sigh at how true his words were.

I'd do anything to make things better, if it was in my hands.

Right in this moment, I didn't know anything. What I wanted or expected was blurry to me, just as well as the rest of the world. Just me and my feelings, drowning in loneliness because there was not a single person in this town, in my circle of friends nor family that wouldn't judge me. No, that was Mitchie's job, to listen to everything I had inside, caring about every word I had to say. It really was surprising how fast she got this deep into my heart. Soon after we met, I trusted her more than anyone I had ever trusted, telling her things that I wouldn't have told anybody else, letting her get inside the mess my mind is. She just was my best friend before anything else and without her here; this was starting to be hell.

"…_For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool, by making his world a little colder…" _Paul McCartney's words came out of my phone, making my mind wander to simpler times, when my childhood best friend, Nate Gray, was learning to play this song on the piano, cursing each time he'll make a mistake and starting all over again, as I watched him, giggling, eating a snack his mother would make for us, left in the counter of the music shop his family owned that I was sitting in.

_Nate Gray. _

"Oh my god" I whispered, standing up as fast I could, pressing 'repeat one' on my phone and putting it back in my pocket.

How could I not think about him sooner? Even though we weren't as close as we used to be when we were younger, my baseball pal and musical partner was the best option I could ever think of. He had been there for me when the biggest trouble of it all was an incorrectly played song, what could be so different from that to an incorrectly written story?

Losing no more time, I decided to give it a shot and walk all the way to the Gray's Music Shop, hoping to find him there, telling myself that if I was really going to tell him this, I needed to be sincere about _everything _and by everything, I meant since the very first time I heard her voice to the last time, when everything went downhill and made out of me the mess I am right now.

And truth to be told, I don't think there has been a time I had been more nervous in my life.

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**Well, there goes the first chapter. Good? Bad? Should I quit writing and better go play music on a subway? Let me know in a review. **

**Thank you for your time. **


	2. Nate Gray

**Okay so hi again! Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and favorites I got for the first chapter, it made me really happy, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. **

**Now, I don't personally like this chapter at all, I feel like it's too rushed and all over the place (especially the end), but it was essential for it to happen. It also is short, but I promise the next one and the rest of the story will be longer. **

**Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this story. The credit of the characters' names and songs used to tell this story goes to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight.**

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**CHAPTER II: Nate Gray**

If there's anything you need to know about Nate Gray is that, even though he seems really tough and annoying, –this attitude taken once he became the captain of our school's baseball team– he is one of the most sensitive guys I have ever met in my life. Ever since I can remember, Nate could make anyone tell them their deepest secrets, because he could make them feel understood, make them feel important, and most of it, he could make anyone feel confident about themselves. I suppose that was the reason I decided to go to him, instead of going to my best friend: because I needed the confidence I had been lacking all this time. Maybe that way, I could take myself out of this sad and lonely state I'm in and move forward.

When I walked inside the Gray's Music Shop, I couldn't help but smile at the familiar smell of new musical instruments, smell that could bring back to me a million memories. All the guitars positioned in the same angle, cymbals of all sizes in the exact same wall, posters of legendary bands all over the place, the guitar strings section, etc. everything looked just the same, maybe just for the exception of seeing Jason Gray, Nate's oldest brother, behind the counter instead of Mr. Gray, playing the electric guitar with his eyes closed, feeling every note that his fingers made and probably imagining a whole different scenario of the one he was in.

"Well, that was impressive, Jay." I said, once the 22 year old finished playing, making him jump and almost drop the guitar. I giggled.

"Alex! You scared me!"

"And that just tell us how your conscience has a lot to hide."

"You never change, Little Lexy, do you?" He said, smiling and putting the guitar in a wall hanger, walking from behind the counter and giving me a hug. "It's so nice to see you here!"

"It has been a while, hasn't it?"

"Like forever. What's wrong with us for you to not come anymore?" He asked laughing as he pulled away, making me roll my eyes.

"Nothing, Jay, I love you all" I shrugged. "You could almost say the wind brought me here."

"Well, I thank the wind from bringing back my favorite little sister to her home!" Jason exclaimed, giving me another but quicker hug. "Now, I assume you're looking for my little brother, am I right?"

"Why do you know me so well?"

"It's the years, Lex, just the years of knowing you." He smiled. "He is in the back, let me go get him."

I nodded and he left, as the anxiety started rising up all my body. Could I really trust Nate Gray would keep my best hidden secret? Was he still that kind of guy or did the baseball team finally make him one of them? I sighed. Why was I even doubting of him? I would see him every day at school and he still was as nice to everybody as he was before becoming the captain of my school's baseball team and leading them to a championship. I smiled at the thought, remembering how happy he was the day he got into the baseball team, back in freshman year.

"Oh my god, Alexandra Russo, you are in so much trouble!" I heard a very familiar voice calling me to be soon after held into the arms I needed in that exact moment, the protective arms of Nate Gray. "I thought you had forgotten of my existence!"

"What did I do?!" I asked, hugging back, tightly. "It's impossible to find you!" He pulled away and looked at me with a bright smile in his face, not letting go of my hands.

"Are you sure you've been looking in the right places, though?" I raised an eyebrow at his question. "Because you will always find me in the baseball field, my home and this music shop." He chuckled. "I really am so glad to see you."

"Me too, Nate." I sighed. "Do you have time to go for a walk and talk, maybe a coffee and catch up?"

"I always have time for you, little Lexy." He answered, nodding.

"Little?" I raised an eyebrow, slapping his arm playfully. "I'm older than you, dumbass!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, let's get going" He said, laughing, placing his hands on my shoulders and making me turn around, as he made me walk to the door once again.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

To be quite honest, talking to Nate about a relationship I had with _a girl _had me feeling uneasy, most of all, because if my memory doesn't fail, back when we were children and I would spend the afternoon at the Gray's house, playing baseball, video games and learning to play popular songs on the guitar or piano, our parents were convinced that one day in the future, this guy I can't see as more than a brother would end up becoming my husband. Until this date, the simple thought of that makes both us shiver, but I still couldn't stop feeling like I was betraying our imaginary future by telling him this. I'm weird though, so don't take me too seriously.

"So let me get this straight." Nate said after I told him the entire story of what was keeping me shut from everything and everyone else around, since he wanted me to go straight to the point, like in the old times. "My best friend and supposed future wife… hooked up with a girl?"

"I wouldn't properly call it 'hook up', because we never went that far, I mean, a week doesn't give you too much time to…"

"Save the details, thank you very much." I giggled, sipping the coffee we were drinking. "Then what happened?"

I shrugged. "You know, what always happens in long distance relationships."

"Did you guys break up?"

"Two months ago."

"Then why is it this haunting you so much, Alex? I mean, for what you've told me, you probably dated her for like 2 months!" He exclaimed. "You should be able to move on by now!"

"You're an insensible bastard, you know?"

"You love me, though."

"Shut it." He smiled, pleased. "And I don't know, Nate." I looked at the ground, the sadness becoming way too overwhelming for me. "I just… I don't know." I looked back at him. "I keep asking myself what I did wrong, you know. Didn't I try hard enough? Did she realize I wasn't worth all the waiting? I just… " I sighed. "I thought we would make it to winter break and I'm kind of disappointed in myself because we didn't."

He placed his right arm around me and pulled me to him, trying to give a comforting one arm hug. "Listen up, Lex, this wasn't your fault. I know you, you're a fighter and if this girl was what you wanted, I'm pretty sure you did everything in your hands to keep her by your side and if she didn't want to stay, it was her loss, not yours."

"I guess…"

"No, don't give your 'I guess' you're worth much more than that girl, Alex." He let go of me. "Did she ever give you reasonable reason to break up with you?"

I scratched the back of my neck, nervous. So here goes the part when I have to be honest. "Well, she didn't break up with me, I broke up with her."

Nate stopped in his tracks and looked at me with questioning eyes, holding his cup near to his lips.

"Alexandra Russo." He said, dangerously low. "Did that girl cheat on you?" I sighed, being that the only thing he needed to know the answer. "Oh my god, if she wasn't a girl I would kill her!"

My plan to keep a long distance relationship with Mitchie worked all through August and September, but by the start of October, Mitchie started acting really cold to me. Suddenly, she stopped answering to my letters, ignoring my texts, being online for everyone but me; wouldn't pick up the phone, creating lame excuses in the rare emails she'd answer as to why she wouldn't attend me at all and so on. At first, I thought this, what we had, was being too much for her and decided to let her be, trusting it would just be a while, but as the days were passing I couldn't help but get more and more impatient. In the other hand, Tess, Mitchie's best friend, would text me every day and talk to me on the internet when Mitchie wouldn't, make it look like Tess was my girlfriend instead of her. Soon enough, the situation started affecting me so much that I would get really moody, taking all my frustrations and anger on innocent people that didn't deserve it.

"How did you know what she was doing?" Nate asked when we sat on a bench, coffees still in our hands.

"Her best friend sent me a picture of her kissing some guy." I answered, holding the coffee with both of my hands. "And I'm not gonna lie to you, I was denial the first time I saw that picture." I sighed. "I thought about it being old, but I stared at that it so many times that I found so many details on it. I knew it was recent because of what the people in the background were wearing, the color of the trees, the length of her hair and most of it; I knew it was a recent picture because she was wearing this bracelet that used to be mine."

"Holy shit…"

"It all pointed to it to be truth, so I started to ignore her as well. Once she stopped receiving my phone calls, letters or whatever, she started worrying and looking for me." I smiled, bitterly. "She would send texts and emails nonstop; she even asked my grandma if she didn't know anything about me. Her voice would sound desperate in the voicemails she'd left and that I would only listen to get rid of the little icon that appeared on the screen of my phone every time she'd leave one." Nate chuckled.

"Those are annoying, I agree."

"It was being difficult for me to keep it as a secret like that because of how much she'd send that one day I just got tired and decided to answer the phone."

"And what did she say?"

_FLASH BACK_

_12 AM. _

_There was only one person that would decide to call me at this hour. I took my phone, looking at the picture showing up in the screen and sighing. I don't think there's much I can do anymore to ignore her, so in a moment of courage, I pressed the green button on the screen and answered. _

"_Hello?"_

"_Oh my god, Lexy! I have been looking for you like crazy! Why don't you answer your phone, love?"_

"_I've been busy, Michelle." I answered, as cold as I could and trying to ignore my heartbeat. _

"_You have no idea of how much I have missed you, popcorn." Her words never stung as much at that moment, because I was well aware that she hadn't. _

"_Well, it didn't seem like it, did it?" I said, without even thinking. I was just too upset to do that._

"_What are you talking about, sweetheart? I have been looking for you everywhere! I even called your grandmother to check if you were alright!" I scoffed. _

"_Yeah, I heard about that." I closed my eyes, knowing I wouldn't be able to hold it much longer and prepare myself for what was coming. "But if you had missed me, Mitch, you would have answered when it was me who was looking for you."_

_She stayed quiet for a moment, being her breathing the only way to know she still was on the phone."You have every right to be mad at me, Alex." I looked up at the ceiling, trying not to give in. "I'm sorry."_

"_Why are you sorry? For ignoring me for so long or for cheating on me?" Straight to the point as always, Alex, good. _

_Her breathing stopped being audible as soon as those words were heard on the other side of the phone."Who told you?" was what she said in barely a whisper. _

"_I don't think that really matters, Michelle."_

"_I was going to tell you I just…" Her voice cracked. "I'm so sorry."_

"_Well, they all say that." I said, bitterly. _

"_I swear to you I really am sorry, it was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life and I hope you can forgive me…" She said, talking as fast as the day when she kissed me for the first time, making it sting a little bit more. _

"_Well, even if you are, it doesn't change anything." I sighed. _

"_I would have told you sooner but I couldn't bright myself to talk to you after what I had done and…" don't let the crying distract you, Alex, be strong. "Y-you m-mean a lo-lot to m-me, Lex, I-I r-really d-don't wa-want to l-lose you, so p-please he-hear m-me out…" _

"_It's a little too late for that, don't you think?" Her sobs were more audible now. "I'm sorry; Michelle, but you know what comes after it."_

"_Le-Lex, p-please d-don't…"_

"_This is It, Michelle."_

"_A-Alex… p-please… just l-let m-me..."_

"_Why? There's no need for you to explain, Mitch, really. I know how this stuff works, I have seen it before, so don't worry. Now you're free to go to whoever you please, love."_

"_B-but… Alex…"_

"_And with nothing else to say, I retire. Goodbye, Michelle. "_

"_ALEXANDRA, I LOVE YOU."_

_My breath got stuck in my throat. How dare she to say such thing for the first time at this moment? _

"_I am an idiot that lets her friends get to me, but Alex, I swear to god I love you. Please, just let me expl-"_

"_If you really loved me, Michelle." I interrupted her, voice shaking in anger and frustration. "You wouldn't have cheated on me."_

"_I promise it won't happen again, just-"_

"_I know it won't happen again, Michelle, because I'm breaking up with you."_

"_Alex…"_

"_Bye, Michelle."_

_FLASH BACK END_

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Dropping the L bomb after she cheated on you? That's fucked up, dude." He placed his hand on my knee. "I'm glad you dumped her, Lex. You do deserve so much better than that."

"I might, but you know what's the worst thing about it, Nate?"

"What is it?"

"That even though I deserve better, I don't want anyone else. I don't know why and I don't how, but she got deep inside my skin and…" I whipped the single tear that escaped my eyes. "I can't stop questioning myself if I did right breaking up with her."

"Oh, Lex…" He said, holding me in his arms, as I let my tears finally be released. "Let it out, Lexy, god knows you need it."

"It's so absurd to be crying for someone I met 4 months ago, isn't it?" I whispered, letting out a soft laugh. "But you know, it goes deeper than the two months I got to know her, it's more about losing someone I had a deep connection with, you know? I really don't think I will ever have that connection with anyone again, I really don't, Nate."

"I know, Alex, I know." He was well aware that I didn't need anything else in that moment that his company. He let me cry in his arms, let out all of my hurting, anger and frustrations in the form of tears, not caring if I would ruin his coat or not. Nate just knew I needed someone to share my pain with, and not comforting words that at the end would be useless.

Words weren't going to fix my heart.

"I actually have an idea of what you could do, Lex." He said, a few minutes later, when the crying had calmed down. "To forget, you know."

"I'm all ears, Nate" I said, unsure, probably knowing what that would be.

"Why don't you start dating again?"

I scoffed. "Yeah, right, like that's going to happen." I whipped the few tears left. "Nobody wants to date me, Nate, so why do I even bother trying?"

"Whoa, there!" He said, looking at me, questioning look. "Why are you saying that? You're very pretty, Lexy! Any guy or girl, I don't know which one you prefer, would be extremely lucky to have you by their side."

"And this is coming from someone who is supposed to say that, so no, thank you, Nate, I'm fine."

He sighed. "You should at least give it a try."

I stayed quiet, so I guess he decided to go for it again when he said "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Why that girl, Alex?" the question caught me off guard.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, what's so special about her that you seem to be unable to let go of her even after what she did to you?"

"I… don't really know." I answered, honestly. "I guess it was because she actually took the time to try to take my walls down and nobody ever tried to do that."

"Well then, okay." He said and I rolled my eyes. "It's not like I'm here right now or anything…"

"You know what I mean, Nate. I let my walls come down to you because you've been through almost everything with me but with her it's different because she had to do the effort for me to trust her, and not a lot of people do that anymore." I smiled, sadly. "Like it's probably only Mitchie and you that know who Alex Russo really is." I sighed. "I don't know, I just thought it was the right thing at the moment."

"I see." He said, staying quiet again to then smile. "You know what we should do right now?" The way his face lightened up was kind of cute.

"What?"

"Write a song about this." He said, and I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "About the break up and how it does make you feel."

"Who are we, Taylor Swift or?" He chuckled.

"If it works for her, why won't it work for us?" Nate shrugged. "We could give it a try."

I sighed. "Why the hell not? Let's do it."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

You know, I think I have come to terms with the fact that the universe fucking hates me.

Why do I think that, you might ask? Well, it's very simple.

After Nate and I had that talk about my feelings and tried to write a song about it –key word is tried, because nothing came out of it–, he and I started hanging out a lot more, like we used to do when we were children. At first, everybody found it very random and strange –after all, he was the captain the school's baseball team and I was just another girl of the school– but didn't give too much attention to that. Then, when Nate started cancelling plans with his friends or teammates just to hang out with me, everybody thought the worst: that Nate and I were dating. At first, it was bearable but now it was just getting ridiculous: being the center of attention had never and will never be something I can handle, and all the dirty looks I was getting from a few girls in the school were driving me nuts.

"Ignore them, Alex." Nate said one day. We were at the baseball field, he was lying in the grass, eyes closed and still wearing his uniform, while I was sitting next to him.

"I would if it was easy, but it isn't, dude." I said, pulling some grass.

"It's just a couple of days, Alex, and you won't hear of them for like 3 weeks and by the time we go back to school, the rumor will be forgotten."

"I hope so, because I don't think I could actually handle to be your girlfriend."

"You wish, woman."

"Not in a million years, Gray." I said giggling, when my phone went off, making jump the both of us.

"Hello?" I said, after I finally found it in the deepest of my back pack.

"_Alex, your dad and I are going to the airport right now, if you need anything, your brothers are at home, just letting you know." _My mom said, without even asking how I was or anything.

"The airport? Why?" I asked, confused. "Are you guys going somewhere or anything?"

"_Do you remember Connie Torres, grandma's friend Rose's daughter?" _oh boy.

"Yes…"

"_Well, Rose asked us to pick her up from the airport because they'll spend holidays here! She's coming with her daughter and the other girl, do you remember them? Isn't it wonderful?_"

"Oh lord…" You see? Another proof that the universe hates me.

"What is it, Alex?" Nate asked, confused, probably for the tone of my voice. I brought my index finger to my lips, telling him to be quiet.

"_Anyway, we'll stay for dinner at your grandma's, so don't arrive home late!_"

"Yes, mom, bye." And hung up. "Oh my dear fucking lord."

"Alex, what is it? Why do you have that face?!"

"She's coming, Nate. She's coming."

"Who?"

"Mitchie."

* * *

**I think now you share the same opinion as me about this chapter, don't you? lol but don't lose hope in me! I'll make up for you for this :P **

**Anyway, let me know what you honestly think! All comments are well appreciated, so review and stuff. **

**Have a nice week :D **


	3. Nylon Strings

**Hi again! **

**This took longer than expected, but I just got back to school and the teachers are mean, so I'm sorry for the delay. Thank you so much for the reviews, you guys made me happy haha Keep it coming! :D **

**Now, in this chapter I do a lot of music references, but don't get too much into it. However, just to avoid any problems, A 440 is a perfect tune. You'll understand why you needed to know that later. **

**Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this story. The credit of the characters' names and songs used to tell this story goes to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight. **

**God bless your soul, Tom Higgenson.**

* * *

**Chapter III: Nylon Strings**

"Alex, move."

"No."

"Alexandra, you have to go."

"No, I don't."

"Alex!" Nate exclaimed pulling me from the couch in my living room, trying to make me stand up. "Stop acting like a child! You're seeing a girl, not a serial killer!"

"God, Nate! I don't think you understand how serious this is!" I exclaimed, resisting his strength, thing that, I must say, wasn't very easy.

"Of course I do but you're not winning anything out of this! Your mother will come get you if you don't go downstairs soon, so, please, stop!" He said, finally making me stand up.

I sighed, upset. "Do you really believe I should talk to her?" He raised an eyebrow. "Like, you know, see what she has to say after all this time?"

"Yes, I do." He said, without a hesitation. "It'll be better if you do it face to face than leaving it just in a phone call. This will fix things or just give them an end."

"Ugh, I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah, now move."

The idea of having Mitchie back in my life, back in my hometown, after all we had gone through this past few months had been giving me a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. Was it anxiety or excitement? I wasn't sure; I just _knew_ I was not ready for any of this. I was spending Christmas with my grandparents and probably Mitchie's relatives –and probably Mitchie herself as well– would be attending the dinner my grandparents do for their closest friends and family every year. How was I supposed to avoid her? One thing was to avoid her still constant texts, calls and emails but it was a whole different situation to just _try _to ignore her while having her around. Knowing her, she'd try everything to talk to me and I'm certainly not ready for that either. Adding to that, our mothers had become very good friends, which would only lead to me having to hang out with Mitchie and Tess again.

What the hell was I supposed to do?

In one hand, I had Tess on my side –or so I thought, since she told the truth about Mitchie and all–. Maybe if I asked her to keep Mitchie as far away from me as she could, she'd help me and I wouldn't have to deal with it. In the other side, however, Tess still was Mitchie's best friend and if the brown eyed girl was sad or anything because of our break up, Tess would kind of have the obligation to make me talk to Mitchie and fix things, which, being Tess who we're talking about, would be very hard to say 'no' to.

You'll see, Tess Tyler most remarkable feature was how stubborn and persistent she can be. From the very beginning, she never was a fan of how my attention would always shift to Mitchie, no matter what situation, so she'd always try to do something to change that and make me give her my attention –thing that, to be honest, rarely happened when Mitchie was around–. Then, when Mitchie and I decided to keep a long distance relationship, Tess would text, call and e-mail me as much as Mitchie would do at the very beginning of our relationship, making her look pretty bad in my eyes when Tess continued to do so later on and she stopped. So knowing this, if she was going to help Mitchie, it'd be pretty much impossible to say 'no' to Tess.

In that situation, being forced to talk to her, what would I do? I couldn't stay around an adult all the time –she wouldn't dare to talk to me about this particular subject around someone that could tell and get us in trouble–even if I tried really hard, so what were the options?

"ALEX, WE ARE LEAVING NOW!" I heard my mom yell, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, hey, champ, look at me." Nate said, smiling at me and posing his hands on my shoulders. "You can do this, ok? Don't let her get to you."

"Thank you, Nate."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Let me describe the situation for you.

It was a Sunday, around 2 pm. My dad had taken both of my brothers to his mother's house; so it was just me and my mom visiting my mom's parents. As soon as my grandparents' big yellow house came into my view, once my mom drove by the entrance of the street, I couldn't help but feel all the anxiety I had felt all of the week, the month or maybe just all the anxiety I had felt in the last fourth months of my life, all at once, knowing pretty well that once I walked inside that house, I couldn't give it more thinking and I'd be forced to act in whatever way my instinct told me to.

When I walked inside the house, it all seemed very normal to me: my grandfather was sitting in his chair –the first chair to the left– reading the newspaper, his glasses placed almost in the tip of his nose. Near him were a few of my aunts, talking about the newest gossip they had about the neighbors–some people just never change, I guess – and my grandmother was cooking; just a simple and normal Sunday, no sign of anyone that wasn't from this family.

I let out a sigh in relief, which brought my grandmother's attention to me.

"Just in time! You can help me prepare everything to receive our guests!" Yep, I thought too soon.

"Oh, so Rose, Connie and the girls will be coming?" My mom asked.

"Of course!" My grandma exclaimed, clearly excited. "So, Alex, hurry up and set the table! They'll be here soon!"

I sighed in defeat, this time; taking everything I needed to set the table and did as I was told, because now I was sure there wasn't anything I could do to avoid this. Soon after I finished setting the table, the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of the so awaited guests.

I swear I thought right in that moment I was going to shit my pants.

Things happened really quickly: someone went to open the door, the familiar voices were heard and as soon as her voice was registered in my brain, I did what I always will do best: run and hide. Was it cowardly of me? Of course it was, but I couldn't be bothered about it in that moment, I just needed to get out of there before anything could happen. I ran upstairs and got into the attic, locking the door and rushing to sit by the window, which had a great view of the cloudy blue sky. I had always loved that place because it was the only one in this house I could be without anyone disturbing me with their senseless conversations or annoying questions. It was a quiet place that no one remembered until the Christmas lights were needed, and I would always take advantage of that, like, for example, this situation. Being in this place for as long as I could would give me more time to think. If I were going to talk to Mitchie, what would happen? Would I give in to her melodic voice and beautiful smile? Get lost in her mesmerizing brown eyes and just forget everything? Or would I be able to resist her charm and give everything a proper end all at once? My thoughts over it were heavy, being 'You just shouldn't talk to her' always the answer. I mean, she didn't deserve the time of my day after what she did to me… right?

"_Just face it, Alex." _I thought to myself. "_You will __**have **__to give it to her, whether you like it or not._"

I sighed once again, getting comfortable in my place. This was just so damn frustrating. I just wanted to disappear, right there and in that moment and never come back again but nevertheless, my phone started ringing, giving me another reminder that I couldn't do that. I took it out of my pocket and looked at the notification of a new text on the screen.

**Mom: Where are you? The girls are dying to see you! **

_I went out for a walk; I'll be back in 20 minutes' _was all I could come up with, but I guess she bought it because I didn't get an answer after that. Satisfied with the 20 minutes I got, I left my phone on the floor, enjoying the silence I would rarely get, due to living in the city that never sleeps.

"Maybe I should move to a small town or something…" I whispered, chuckling a little as my eyes traveled around the small room, observing my surroundings as I never had before in all the years I had coming over here to hide whenever I was upset about something. My eyes landed on a particular object, something I hadn't seen in ages and that was my favorite thing in the world when I was a child: My great grandfather's guitar.

"Oh my god…" I said, standing up and rushing to the other side of the room, to pick up the old guitar.

You see, my great grandfather was a musician. He spent his years of youth traveling around the country, playing in small bars and restaurants. He never made much out of it, but, for all the pictures I had seen, he never really cared about money because he was happy. Later on in his life, when he got married and had children, he taught his older daughter –my grandmother– to love music as much as he did. My grandmother, however, dedicated her life to her husband and children, reason why the love for music in the Russo family was put on hold until I was about 6 years old, when my grandmother discovered my love for music –which I got from spending so much time with the Grays–, and got the motivation to transmit to me everything her father had taught her. From that day, music became my best friend, being the only thing I could trust to understand me better than any human could do. I guess that's another reason why I've got such a deep connection with Mitchie, since she loved music just as much as I did, giving her the plus of the amazing voice she possessed.

The guitar was one of a kind, being built by my great grandfather himself. It was a classical guitar with nylon strings, built with cedar wood. The machine was rusty and hard to manage, but I still could tune it. As expected, because of how old the strings were –they probably hadn't been changed in years–¸the sound wasn't perfect, but it still was decent. I strummed it; receiving a different sound to the one I was used to, but it still had the exact same effect on me as any guitar would always have: it gave me a few moments of happiness. In love with the feeling, I kept strumming to random chords, trying to keep in mind that nylon strings weren't made to be strummed but plucked, so it wouldn't give the same sound as guitar with metallic strings would give. Soon, my thoughts got lost in the music and I started playing Yellow, letting the memories come to me and traveling from the D major chord to Mitchie's smile as she watched me play that day, to the F sharp minor chord to Mitchie's beautiful brown eyes. I sighed, as I got back to the D major chord and stopped strumming, just to start plucking the fourth string with my thumb, right after followed by the third and second strings with my index and middle fingers at the same time, playing another of the songs I would classify as Mitchie's songs: Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's, letting the memories hit much more strongly than before, making my heart sting with each sound that was made with my fingers.

_FLASH BACK _

"_Lex, you're about to close your eyes." Mitchie said, giggling, making me give her a small tired smile. "It's like 3 am in New York, go to bed, baby." _

"_No, I won't be able to sleep if I know you're somewhere out there awake and I'm not talking to you." Her smile grew bigger. "So not an option, sleep can wait."_

"_You're so corny sometimes, you know that?"_

"_So I have been told."_

"_Good." She giggled again. "And because of that, I think it's my turn to be corny, so hold on for a moment."_

"_What are you talking a…" She disappeared from the camera from a few moments, leaving me clueless as to what she referred to. Nevertheless, she answered my internal question when she came back with her black guitar in hand, sitting in front of the camera again and smiling. "What is this, Mitchie?"_

"_Well, today when I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friend Caitlyn, a phone started playing this song and I couldn't stop but think about you, so I decided to play it for you tonight. Is that okay?" _

"_Let me hear you, love."_

"_It might be a little cliché and all, but I think it fits us, so here it goes." She took a deep breath, looking down to the fret board and then started plucking the strings, playing the familiar sound of a song I had heard many times in the radio and that possibly from now on would be my favorite. "Hey there, Alexandra, what's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand miles away, but girl" She looked at me with a bright smile. "Tonight you look so pretty, yes you do, Times Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true." Tom Higgenson would never sing this song again if he ever heard how his voice would never make it sound as beautiful as Mitchie's voice was doing it. "Hey there, Alexandra, don't you worry about the distance, I'm right there if you get lonely, give this song another listen, close your eyes, listen to my voice is my disguise, I'm by your side." _

_Was it her smile, her voice, her guitar skills or how bright her eyes looked as she was singing? I don't know, but as I got lost in everything she was doing, I couldn't erase that big goofy smile I had in my face, thinking of how glad I was that the first song someone ever dedicated to me was coming from her. _

"_Hey there Alexandra, you be good and don't you miss me, two more years and you'll be done with school and I'll be making history like I do, you'll know it's all because of you, we can do whatever we want to, Hey there Alexandra here's to you, this one's for you." And with that, for the first time in my life, I felt butterflies in my stomach and a warm sensation all over my spine; I felt that strange feeling everyone talks so much about, but never has an explanation of what is it like; I felt like I was invincible as long as I had this girl next to me. Simple as that, I felt love. _

_FLASH BACK END._

"It's what you do to me, what you do to me…" I whispered finishing the song and making my head softly hit the wall behind me, as the silence took over the room again.

In that moment, the only thing I could ask myself was how my mother would feel if she ever knew how torn I was because of someone I had met because she made me go to that stupid party. If my father knew, would he feel the same need to hit whoever hurt his little girl like he'd do if I was hurting for a boy? I guess that was the worst part of it all, from the beginning: wondering about how everyone else would feel and not stopping a second to care about how was _I _feeling.

"_Or maybe, Alex, you should stop thinking about this and actually do something about it._" A voice inside me that sounded exactly like Nate's said. _"You have a guitar in your hands; use it to say whatever you need to say, dumbass." _

And it clicked. When there's no word, there's always a song.

Putting aside the fact that I might be going crazy because I'm listening to Nate's voice in my head, I picked up my phone from the floor and put it in my pocket, walking out of the attic with the guitar in my hand.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Well then, there she is." I heard a soft voice say behind me, making me turn around. "Mitchie is looking for you like a mad woman, Alex." The blonde girl walked to me and sat next to me on the floor of the balcony of my grandparents' room, where I had decided to stay until my presence was needed downstairs, because even though it was past the 20 minutes I had told my mom I'd be gone, she still hadn't said anything about my absence. "Hi." She said, smiling.

"Hi, Tess." I said, returning the smile.

"It's so good to finally see you." She said, placing her hand on my knee. "Why haven't you been answering my texts? I had missed you, silly!"

"I know and I'm sorry, I just kind of… been disconnected from the world, I guess."

"That's okay, I understand." She said, playing with her blonde hair, looking at the floor. "I mean, I know Mitchie cheating on you has been on your mind every day, it probably hasn't been easy." Well then, that stung.

"Yes, it has been hard but I'll get used to it, I guess."

"Good, because you do deserve so much better than her, Lex, you really do." I looked up to the sky and smiled weakly, quietly strumming the guitar.

"So I have been told, but let's be honest here, Tess." I said, directing my sight to the blonde girl next to me. "I don't really think there is anyone beside Michelle that would like to be with me, so I'm fine as it is." I looked back to the fret board. "I'm done with relationships for now."

"Oh, Alex, don't let this bad experience with Mitchie get to you closed up to love!" She got closer to me, placing both of her hands on my shoulder and lacing them together. "I can assure you that there are more people, better people, that would love to have you next to them." I raised an eyebrow, realizing how close she had gotten. "Don't ever doubt it."

"I think you're on crack."

"No, I'm telling you the truth." She smiled a bit more widely, making me realize of the strange spark in her eyes, as something in my insides told me to get away as far I could from her, yet not being able to move an inch. "You are much prettier than you think you are, Lex…"

And to be quite honest, I should have expected what happened next because, well, it made things much clearer. However, it still got to me as the most unexpected thing on earth, making me freak out inside when it happened. Why on fucking earth was my ex's supposed best friend kissing me? No, better yet, why wasn't I pulling away? My answer to that was that I was way too shocked to react; otherwise I didn't make any sense. I did find Tess to be very attractive –you had to be really _insane _to not do it – but it never went further than that, maybe because I was too hung up on Mitchie to even think about it. So what the hell was I doing? The reaction didn't come until a voice calling Tess' name was heard, making my insides shitless scared. We were in my grandparents' room after all, and it could be anyone to come in and see this particular situation.

"What that fuck is this?!" said the voice, making me pull away as far away from Tess as I could, holding on to the guitar that was still in my hands for dear life. My brain didn't register that voice until it was heard again, angrily saying "What on earth were you doing, Tess Tyler?!" it was no other than the beautiful and still breathtaking Mitchie Torres, right there, in front of me.

"Hi, Mitchie." Tess said calmly and even happily, sanding up and smiling to the angry brown eyed girl in front of her. "I didn't hear you come."

"I can't imagine why." Mitchie said sarcastically, placing her hands on her hips, as one of her light brown and curly locks fell on her face. She was just so beautiful…

"I didn't do anything wrong, Mitch." Tess said, walking back to me and kissing my cheek, with a smirk on her face. "She's not yours anymore."

I didn't say anything at all as the two girls exchanged words, I was way too shocked for that, but it was really easy to see how _mad _Mitchie was at her 'best friend' –it looks could kill, Tess would have been twenty feet under the ground–, but she decided against doing something about it. Instead, she walked to me, took my hand and made me walk out of the room with her. I didn't protest, because I knew she would have ignored me just like she ignored Tess' protests as she took me out of the room and made me get into another room, locking the door behind us as soon as we were inside. Still without saying a word, Mitchie gently took the guitar out of my hands and placed it on the bed, just to right after place her hands around my neck and her lips on mine, in a sweet kiss that tasted like strawberries. Feeling her lips kissing mine had never felt as right as it felt in that moment. Everything was forgotten. My hands found their way to Mitchie's hips, as my lips kissed hers as intensely as she had kissed mine. Soon, our lips were moving in sync, hungrily looking for what we hadn't had in such a long time. _"Don't let her get you, Alex." _Nate's voice echoed in my head, making me come back to reality and realize what was going on. I was kissing Mitchie Torres. I was kissing my ex girlfriend. I was kissing the girl that cheated on me.

"Mitchie…" I said, pulling away as the thought crossed my mind, but she held even more tightly when she saw what I was doing, kissing me again. "Mitchie, please…" She wasn't saying anything, she just kept kissing me, even more intensely than before, making it really hard for me to keep focus on what I was trying to do.

"I missed you so badly, Lexy…" She whispered, still kissing me. "I really did…"

"Mitchie, please, stop…"

"She gets to kiss you and I don't, Lex? That's kind of unfair, don't you think?" her hands traveled from my neck to my hair, her lips hardly apart from mine as she spoke. "You were mine first, remember?"

"_Unfair?_" I said, angrily, pushing her a bit, being that enough for me to let go of her grip. "Are you fucking serious right now, Michelle?" She backed off, finally. "You're the last person on this planet that can tell me something I do is _unfair._" The bitterness in my voice made Mitchie's eyes start to water, showing me how overwhelming it was too actually see her cry, after so many times of only hearing her.

"But Lex…" She tried to hold me again, but I held my hand up, stopping her.

"Stop it, seriously."

"Why can't we just forget this and start all over?" Mitchie said desperately, her eyes showing how upsetting and frustrating this was for her. "We all make mistakes…"

"You have no shame, do you, Michelle?" to say I was upset in that moment was an understatement. Who the hell did this girl think she was? "We all might do mistakes, but not _everyone _make the same mistake you did. Some of us are actually honest, you know." The hurt expression on her beautiful face would have made me feel bad if I wasn't so mad.

"Alex, if you only gave me the opportunity to-"

"We had this talk already, Michelle. There's no use." I sighed, taking the guitar from the bed, placing it safely under my arm and starting to walk away. "I might have forgotten this situation we're in for a few moments, but I know I won't be able to forget it permanently." I looked at her, placing my hand on knob of the door.

"If you gave me the chance, I'd do my best to make you forget it."

"It really isn't that easy, Mitch, it really isn't." and with that, I opened the door, finding Tess on the other side of the door. As soon as she saw me, she raised an eyebrow.

"What's up with the sex hair?"

I rolled my eyes. "Shut it."

Why did I get myself into this mess, again? God.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Surprising enough, Mitchie didn't talk to me for the rest of the day, unlike Tess, who wouldn't leave me alone. Dinner, parents' childhood memories and embarrassing chat had been done between my relatives and hers, yet not a word from her had been said to me, thing that, I'm not going to lie, had me slightly disappointed. Who understands me, right? I just wanted her to try, I guess. In the other hand, however, my grandmother was really happy with the guitar being brought out of the attic. It had passed by the hands of all my cousins –they didn't miss the opportunity to show off their 'abilities' with unnecessary cockiness– and my grandma had delighted us with her voice, impressing our guests with it. When the guitar landed on Mitchie's hands, she declined to play, despite of her mother's insistence, saying something about 'not being good enough', thing that was a complete and utter lie. Nonetheless, Tess didn't let go of the opportunity either, showing off as much as she could. After like an hour, the guitar went back to my hands, everyone's expecting eyes waiting for me to start playing something. I retuned it –as I asked myself how on earth everyone still played with it sounding as awful as it did due to how unturned it was–, as I tried to remember what were the chords to the song I was going to play. No capo, so it meant E flat minor, B flat and A flat minor, if my memory didn't fail.

"Okay, so this song is by Pixie Lott, a girl you probably don't know." I said, giggling at their faces. "It's quite interesting" I strummed a bit then silenced with my hand. "This is called Mama Do, and it goes like this."

Mitchie's eyes opened really widely when she realized what I was doing: telling everyone our story, indirectly. Nevertheless, I was trying not to look at her as I sang, because it would have been really obvious, yet I still hoped she knew what I was trying to tell her.

"What would my mama do, if she knew about me and you?" I looked around the room, trying to concentrate on the chords I was playing, as I looked for some certain chocolate orbs. "What would my daddy say, if he saw me hurt this way?"

Her eyes didn't say anything to me in that moment, because she didn't know what to think. I looked away, trying to hold myself from laughing when I saw the interesting effect the song was causing on my "audience", to call it something. A lot of confused looks from relatives trying to understand what was going on with me, while others –thankfully my mother, Mitchie's mother and grandmother were included in those others– were just fascinated with my 'performance'. When I finished the song, my eyes found their way to Mitchie, who just walked out of the room without saying anything. I sighed, putting the guitar down and receiving the congratulations from everyone, thanking everyone with a fake smile and patiently to get out of this room, remembering why I don't socialize with my family. Too much questions. As soon as the hype was gone, I took the guitar with me again and went to the backyard, where I sat on the grass, enjoying again the calmness of silences, only broke by the soft sounds of crickets singing. I placed the guitar next to me and I lied down, sighing. Nobody would ever understand why I loved be to be alone almost all the time, but nobody ever questioned it either. I preferred it that way, though. I took my phone out of my pocket and looked for Nate's number, sending him a message when I found it.

_Alex: This sucks and I hate you for making me do this. _

_Nate: That bad?_

_Alex: You have no idea. _

_Nate: 3:30 PM, in the shop. I'll bring the cake. _

_Alex: god bless you. _

"Lex." The voice that called my name made my heart start racing, letting me know really quickly who was calling me. Mitchie sat next to me and took the phone out of my hands, placing it on her left. "Hi."

"Hi, Mitchie."

"I'm sorry." She whispered, looking at the grass. "For cheating on you, for ignoring you, for kissing you so desperately today when I knew I shouldn't have… I'm just… sorry."

"I know you are."

"Really?"

"Yes." I looked up to her. "Your kiss said everything."

Mitchie blushed, smirking. "Oh well, then I hope you know that I was honest, two months ago, when you broke up with me." She looked me in the eye. "I love you." straight to the heart.

"Mitchie…"

"Let me speak, ok?"

"Alright."

"I'm aware you don't believe me at all, but I can bet to you that I will do everything in my power to make you believe it and earn your forgiveness and trust again, no matter how long it takes me. I'll try. There's no name for what I did to you in a moment of stupidity, but I will not let you go this easily." She sighed. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did it."

"Mitchie, it's going to be a waste of time, love." I whispered, looking up to the sky. "I just-"

"Alex, you don't understand." Mitchie said, cutting me off. "I am… like this guitar." She placed her hand on top of the guitar between us, earning a confusing look from me. "This guitar is one of a kind. The strings are very old, but have managed to stay still, which somehow has damaged the tuning machine." She ran her tiny fingers through the strings. "I'm sure no one would have showed the interest you showed for this old guitar. The strings aren't typical, they're made of nylon, am I right?" I nodded. "Nylon strings are stronger than metallic strings. They can break as well, that's truth, but it takes a lot for it." She smiled. "That's my love for you. I was a guitar out of tune, forgotten in the attic. No one showed interest in me until you came and found me, making your best to try to fix and tune the old strings of my heart, playing a beautiful melody with them. Once you did, everyone started showing interest, even people I never thought would show interest in me, which made me feel... important for once in my life. I let people play my strings and they just got me out of tune again, having no one to take the time to retune my strings. That's something just you would do." A single tear rolled down her cheek, making my heart break. She whipped it away, swiftly. "So my strings broke and I lost sense. I want you back because you are the only one who can change the broken strings and tune them. An A 440 kind of tune. You'd make everything to make me recover the sound I had. So I'll try, I'll wait and I'll hope, because I only want you to do it. Just you, and nobody else."

"I hadn't even planned on fixing this guitar…"

"Oh, but I know you well, Alex Russo. You won't be able to go home without giving yourself a chance to fix it because you know you can. " She strummed the already unturned strings with one finger. "At least, now you won't."

I laughed softly, looking at her. This was why I fell for her. Who else would make that kind of musical references?

Supporting myself on both of my hands, I pushed me up and sat, taking the guitar and placing it on my left side, moving closer to Mitchie and taking her hand.

"Let's make a deal, Mitch." I said, smiling as I looked at our laced fingers. "Give me until Christmas. If I fix this guitar" I placed my hand on top the guitar. "By that time, we'll have a long talk." I looked up to see her face lightened up. "But if not, we'll leave this as it is and nothing else will happen." Lip biting, she was nervous. "Deal?"

"That's a week…"

"I know."

She thought about it for a moment, probably wondering if I'd even do the effort to try to fix it. I waited, not giving anything away. "Deal." She finally said, sighing.

"Cool, then we'll see what happens on Christmas."

"Okay." She took my phone and gave it back to me, just to right after stand up. "I'll let you have your peace now."

"Thank you, Mitch." She nodded and started walking away. I looked to the guitar next to me, scratching the back of my neck, when she called my name again. "Oh, and Alex?"

"Yes?"

"I wouldn't care." I gave her a confused look. "About what would they do if they knew about me and you."

I smirked, surprised. "Why?"

Mitchie shrugged, innocently. "It's what you do to me." She winked, as I realized to what song she was making a reference to this time. "You sing it way better than I do, Lex, keep it up."

Oh my god.

What had this girl done to me?

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**Well, I hope you guys liked it. Review and all that stuff and I'll give you a cookie :) **


	4. Boyfriend, Truth and Chances

**Alright so, hi again guys! **

**Now, I wanted to talk to you guys about something. I wrote a one shot called Mitchie's Dreams (if you checked it out THANK YOU and if not, whenever you have time, I'd appreciate if you did :D) and most of the reviewers asked me to continue it. I didn't really think about it when I wrote but if I really was going to do it, I'd do it after I finish Bright Eyes because of my lack of time and inspiration to write both at the same time. So, if you really want me to continue and are willing to wait, let me know and I'll plan it out. Just for you to know, Bright Eyes is not really going to be long, so it shouldn't be that long of a wait. **

**Anyway, this was supposed to be updated last week but my birthday, homework, two concerts and laziness of my part came into the way so it took longer than I expected and I apologize for that. However, I really don't know how I feel about this (I know I say the exact same thing every single time but ugh) so we will see. I didn't really double check it, so sorry if there's a lot of spelling mistakes. **

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this story. The credit of the characters' names and songs used to tell this story goes to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Boyfriend, truth and chances. **

Whether it went against everything I had told myself I wouldn't do or not, to fix my great grandfather's guitar was the only thing I wanted to do that week. Taking advantage of winter break, I would basically sleep in the workshop of the Gray's Music Shop, telling myself I needed to fix it before Christmas. "Tuning machine, fret board and strings. If I make it, it'll be perfect again" was what I repeated myself every minute of every day that week. However, I still didn't know nor could understand why was trying to fix it. Did I really want to give Mitchie the opportunity to talk to me? Even if I knew if I wanted or not, I was aware there was no reason to just not do it. She was right; something inside me wouldn't have let me go of my grandmother's house that day without giving myself a try to fix it and thank god, Nate was as fascinated with the guitar as I was. He had let me use the workshop and even had helped me, thing I appreciated a lot. I would probably have taken over a month trying to fix it without his help.

"Your great grandfather was a true talent, you know that?" He said one day, as he was adjusting the new tuning machine we had placed on the guitar. "This guitar is so perfect. It will have a beautiful sound once it's all fixed in a few minutes, you can't even imagine."

I smiled, pleased. "I bet it will; this wouldn't have been his life partner if it wasn't that way."

"But what I'm still surprised about, though." Nate continued. "Is at how whipped you are."

I raised an eyebrow, sitting on the table and picking up the different samples of nylon strings he had placed there for me to choose. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You did not get what she was trying to tell you with the whole guitar metaphor, did you?" He looked at me and smiled, probably at my expression. "Your family isn't that into music like it was generations ago. Your grandmother can't play the guitar anymore and your grandfather isn't nor has ever been into music. Once this is fixed, they'll make you play a song for them to prove it really is fixed and then it probably will go back to the attic." He went back to adjusting the machine. "But you'd still go through all the trouble of fixing it, just for the sake of it. It's the same thing. If you would go through all this for an old guitar because you knew you could fix it, what wouldn't you do for that girl and your relationship with her when you know you still can save it?" He looked at me, again. "Just think about it, Lex."

"Girl is smart, isn't she?"

"Yes, and you are either clueless or just whipped."

"Shut up, Nate." I said, handing him the set of strings I had chosen, glaring at him in the process.

"I knew it." He replied, with a little smirk in his face as he took the strings and continued with his work.

Truth to be told, there were a few bad things of spending all my time with Nate. The first one was that Harper was getting very jealous of my relationship with Nate. Since I told him everything about Mitchie, I started hanging out a lot with him instead of Harper –who had been asking me to do it since October, when I broke up with Mitchie and isolated myself–, which pissed her off a lot. It wasn't a secret she didn't like the Grays at all –it had something to do about Nate's older brother, Shane Gray, but I didn't know the whole story to that – and in her head, the idea of her best friend, the best friend she had been trying for so long to take out of the sad state I was, hanging out with the brother of the guy she hated was pretty much betrayal. I tried to explain myself as in why this was happening, but how was I supposed to explain it without giving anything away about what happened with Mitchie? Harper knew of her existence –after all, I was forced to hang out with them back in summer–, yet didn't know the background story of my hangouts with Mitchie. How was I going to tell her _that, _which was the reason I was so sad in the first place? I had told Nate because I needed to get it out of my chest, but that was a secret that didn't need to be spread. If I told Harper, she wouldn't be able to go a day without telling Zeke, her boyfriend, making him promise that he would never tell this to anyone else. Zeke would agree but after a while, it would probably be too much for him –this kind of secrets are always the hardest to keep– and would tell his best friend who, sadly enough, is my older brother, Justin, who wouldn't lose a second to tell my parents and everything would be fucked once it got to their ears. I knew them so well that I could basically hear their voices in my head ranting about how what I was doing was wrong and just the idea of that made me shiver.

No, there was no way I was going to tell Harper.

"Okay, all set." Nate said, clapping his hands and looking at me with a smile. "The fret board was fixed and the tuning machine changed, all we have left is putting on the strings. Would you like to do the honors, Miss Russo?" He said, bowing to me and handing me the guitar strings.

I giggled. "Of course, give me that."

Another bad thing about hanging out with Nate had been my mom's speculation. Like I told you before, everyone had always said Nate and I were going to get married and the fact that we were hanging out now, in our adolescence years, when according to the imaginary teenage years handbook I was supposed to be dating a lot, was giving a lot of speculation in between Mrs. Gray and my mother. They all were thrilled about it, but my mom was an exaggeration. She had told _everyone _in the family I was dating him, not losing the opportunity to let them know he was one of the best players of the baseball team of my school. Like expected, of course, no matter how much I denied it, nobody would listen to me. For everyone in my family, I was Nate Gray's girlfriend. He found it funny, but me and a certain brunette that was staying in her grandmother's house –my grandmother's neighbor and best friend– didn't. She had not said anything directly to me, but we have to remember her best friend was Tess Tyler. The blonde had sent me at least 100 or more text messages just this week, most of them telling me how much she wanted to see me or asking me if the boyfriend business was true. I answered to a couple of her messages, leaving the 'boyfriend' matter in the air. Of course it was only natural for her to eventually bring Mitchie into the matter. _"Saying Mitchie is upset about this boyfriend of yours is an understatement. Can you believe her?" _ Were her exact words, but I rolled my eyes at it and ignored it. If I had to explain that to someone, I'd be only to Mitchie. Oh god, did I just say that?

"I don't think I have seen anything more beautiful than this, oh my god!" Nate exclaimed excited, taking me out of my thoughts, once I finished putting the new strings on the old guitar. "I really wish I had met you great grandfather, dude." He placed his elbow on my shoulder, looking at the guitar as if he was looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. "This is just so… amazing…"

"You are so weird, you know that?"

"Oh just shut up and let me have a moment, ok?" I shrugged and he took the guitar, tuning it, strumming the strings once he did. He smiled, satisfied with the beautiful sound it did. "You see? Pure beauty."

"It is true, it's beautiful…"

"But you know, this can only mean one thing. " He said, looking at me with a smirk on his face. "You owe Mitchie a long talk now."

"Do you really have the need to remind me every five seconds of that?" He smiled bigger, answering my question. I rolled my eyes. "I am aware, so don't push it."

"I just find the situation very funny, Lexy. You made it so easy for her!"

"Oh, can you just shut up, put that guitar on its case and let me go home now?"

"As you wish, Miss Russo." Nate said, standing up, holding the guitar with one hand and bowing down to me again. "But I'll walk you home, because I am not letting you do anything to damage this guitar after we just fixed it."

"Whatever, Nathaniel."

"Oh, aren't we sweet?" He said, rolling his eyes this time. "Let's go, Alexandra."

IIIIIIIIII

As he said, Nate walked me home, not losing the opportunity while on the way home to tease me about the talk I owed to Mitchie but thank god I was past the anxiety over it. After the talk we held that night in the backyard, something inside me calmed down. I wasn't so sure about what was it, but Mitchie didn't make me that nervous anymore. In fact, I was a bit more curious and wanted to know what had really happened, still aware of how much that information was going to hurt, because no matter how many explanations she could give me, she still had cheated on me and nothing was going to change that. However, you could say that talk became the least of my worries when I found out that my mother had invited Nate and his parents to my grandparents' Christmas reunion.

The situation was very funny. I'm not exactly sure why or how did it happen, but I almost yelled at Nate –to have him there was like the worst idea ever– but he was as confused as I was. Later on we found out my mom had invited them because of their lack of particular plans for Christmas –Shane was out of the city with some friends and Jason was spending the holiday with his fiancée's family– and my relatives wanted to meet the 'boyfriend' I had denied so much yet my mom had made look like the best guy on earth. Nate was flattered, of course, but he was starting to agree with me that this was extremely ridiculous.

It wasn't like I was really going to marry this guy, for god's sakes.

Nevertheless, my mom and Mrs. Gray were very excited about it. They spent the entire ride to my grandma's house talking about how cute we looked together and a lot of things like it. In the other hand, my dad and Mr. Gray were having a conversation about sports, while my brothers couldn't be bothered about anything going on around the car. Justin was reading a book and Max was lightly moving his head to the rhythm of whatever song he was listening to.

"Are you ready for the awkwardness?" I heard Nate's familiar voice say in my ear, making me look away from my brother to find his brown eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, California." He said, referring to Mitchie as California. Cliché, I know. "I'm pretty much going to be presented as your boyfriend and Cali won't like that. It's going to be awkward, I'm telling you."

I sighed. "I still haven't thought about it, to be honest. I mean, California might be taken by surprise, be pissed off and hate you, but when I explain the situation, she'll be fine with it, I guess. "

"If you say so." Nate shrugged, smiling. "Truth to be told, I'm kind of excited."

I raised my eyebrow. "Why on earth would you be excited? Do you understand you're pretty much going to be attacked by my entire family?"

"Yes, but I really do want to see if you are as whipped as I think you are. It's going to be fun to see you around that girl and well, finally know how she looks like. "

"You have seen her picture on my phone, though."

"It's not the same. I want to know if she really is as breathtaking as you make her out to be."

"Then be ready to be surprised."

"We'll see."

I rolled my eyes, looking away from him and gave all my attention to the road, letting myself get lost in my thoughts as I always would do. I think that was the first time when I actually thought about what was going to happen after I talked to Mitchie and came up with a solution: to base my decision on the way she acted. You see, one thing I have learnt about people over the years is that you can know a part of their personality just by observing them. The way someone talked or moved could tell you much more things that what they could actually be telling you about a specific situation. So, Mitchie, who was a clear example of what body language can tell you about someone, would find it hard to lie to me. Even if her words weren't sincere, her body language would be. If she ran her fingers through her hair repetitively, couldn't stay still in one place and avoid my eyes as much as possible, then she'd be lying about how she really felt and that'd be the end.

I sighed again, preparing myself for whatever was to come, just like last time. However, as soon as we arrived at my grandmother's house and everyone met Nate and his family, I learnt that jealousy is the most interesting thing ever invented.

Let me explain you why.

We were all sitting in the dining table. Nate was sitting to my left, Tess to my right and Mitchie right in front of me. Even though it'd be completely impossible for me to look at Nate Gray as more than a very close friend, I have to accept he is very charming and somewhat good looking. His well defined curls had always been the perdition of many girls, just like his shinning perfect smile had melted many hearts, so it was only natural for him to have the same effect in every female of my family. From my grandmother to my youngest cousin, they all were amazed by the baseball talk Nate was doing, even though they probably didn't understand a thing, while the men in the house were probably just impressed and were trying not to show it up. Nevertheless, Tess and Mitchie weren't very happy of all the attention my mother's guest was getting, especially Tess who was used to the queen treatment she'd get from each one of my male cousins and that were too busy giving dirty looks to Nate to notice her. However, I don't think there was anyone as upset as Mitchie was in that moment, just because Nate had the _brilliant _idea of holding my left hand every time I would place it on the table, which would make Mitchie glare at his hand on mine, thing that I find very amusing.

After dinner, all elder men wanted to keep going with the sports talk with Nate, just as my mom, Mrs. Gray, Mrs. Torres and the grandmas departed to the kitchen to talk about cooking. Taking advantage of the situation, all my cousins left because they had a 'reunion' with some friends, Mitchie and Tess disappeared and I was left to talk with my aunts, chat that didn't last too long because of their nosey questions, so I decided to go out to my dad's car, getting the fixed guitar out of the trunk and throwing it over my shoulder, ready to take a walk around the neighborhood and stop by the park I would visit whenever the silence of the attic wouldn't be enough for me. However, when I was walking by Mitchie's grandmother's house, I heard familiar voices yelling, thing that attracted my attention. The words being yelled were so loud and clear that curiosity got the best out of me, making me stop in my tracks to listen to it.

"_I can't believe I even brought you back here! None of this would have happened if you just kept your mouth shut!"_

"_If I wouldn't have told her, she'd still believe your fucking lies, Michelle, and she sure does deserve much better than that!" _ Oh, boy. Was that…?

"_I was going to tell her, I just needed time to figure out how! And I don't even understand how I still consider you my best friend after all what you've done!"_

"_What I've done?! Do you realize the guy you cheated on Alex with was the boy I had been secretly in love for the last 2 years of my fucking life?! You knew that, Michelle, and you didn't even care!" _Oh my god, what?!

"_I told you what really happened and if you didn't believe me, that's not my problem! It still wouldn't have given you any right to go after Alex knowing how I feel about her!_" the shouting stopped and the next thing I knew, doors were being slammed and a furious blonde came out of the house, walking towards the opposite direction of where I was, not seeing me once.

I looked to the door from where Mitchie would probably come out soon and then at Tess' figure that was getting farther and farther from me. If Mitchie saw me with the guitar, then she'd make me talk to her but if what I heard was true, should I even think of giving Mitchie a second chance? _A second opinion won't hurt, Alex. _The voice inside my head that sounded just like Nate's said, making me sigh and nod in agreement, making me question my sanity yet again.

"Tess!" I yelled, running to catch her up. She stopped walking and turned around, sighing when she saw me. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, hi Alex." She said, sounding sad and upset. "I don't know, I just… needed to get out for a while."

I gave her a smile. "The story of my life." She returned a weak smile. "Do you mind if I go with you? I kind of needed to get out too."

"That's fine with me, but won't your boyfriend get upset for leaving him alone with your family?"

"My boy…? Oh, yeah, Nate, no, he won't mind" I said, resting it importance.

"And your girlfriend?"

"Mitchie?"

"You're fast to answer that, huh?"

"Oh, god, shut it. I don't know, but let's not care about her for a moment, alright?" Tess liked my answer, because her smile grew bigger. "C'mon, let's go, I know a park where we can talk peacefully."

"Alright."

IIIIIIIIIIII

"Joe." I look at Tess, confused. She smiled, sadly. "His name is Joe."

We were sitting on a bench in the park. I had the closed guitar case on my lap, drumming on it with my fingers as Tess looked at the snow, with a blank expression on her face. We hadn't said a word since we sat there, the silence only broken by the sound of my fingers hitting the case and the birds singing around us.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you heard us, Alex. You wouldn't be looking at me as you were on the way here if it wasn't because of it." She explained in what was barely a whisper. "So I'm telling you. His name is Joe and I have had a crush on him since I met him. He is a fucking jerk and always has been, but there's something about him that just… attracts me. "

"I see."

"But he always has wanted Mitchie, but she despites him, always has and I was just as confused as you were when I found out about them being together."

"What…? Be–being together?"

"They started dating a few months before summer and they broke up a few days before we got here." She sighed. "I was so upset with her but she is like the only friend I have because I'm not very friendly, so I sucked it up." She directed her sight to me. "Then, when we got here and her mother made us go to the party, I did notice you in the balcony." I raised my eyebrows, surprised. Tess smiled again. "And you intrigued me. You looked so bored, so out of reality that I just… was interested. I needed someone new in my life and thought you could be that someone, but I didn't exactly know what to do, so I just stayed there. When you came to us, I right away saw the way Mitchie's eyes sparkled when she saw you and for some reason, that alone made me want to know you even more. I still don't know why, but I thought being nice to your cousin would help my situation, so I told you I'd dance with him and I think that was the worst thing I could do that day." She sighed. "Mitchie caught your attention, just like she catches everyone else's."

"I–I…"

"Don't say anything, Lex, I know this was out of your hand. Like, who would want me when Mitchie is in the same room, anyway? It doesn't make sense. She's nice, beautiful and cute. Why wouldn't anyone want her?"

I sighed. "Tess, please, I–"

"You know it's true, Alex." Tess replied, with a tone in her voice that left understood she didn't want to discuss this any further. "Anyway, when we got back to California, the only thing Mitchie would talk about was you. Alex this and Alex that was the only thing everyone ever heard about, even if they didn't knew who she was talking about, so it was matter of time for the word to get to Joe, who didn't like it that at all. He made so many scenes about it I actually felt embarrassed for liking him, but Mitchie couldn't give a damn about it, she was just way too into you to do it."

My heart felt really hurt by that, as something in my head yelled that wasn't true, it couldn't be true. "Then what happened? Why did she…?"

"Why did she cheat on you?" The phrase _cheated on you _stings every time. "She says he kissed her first, but I'm not sure if I believe her. I think she felt alone, to be honest. When she decided she preferred to go home after school to talk to you instead of hanging out with her friends, you became her world. Many of her friends stopped talking to her because she wasn't their partying buddy anymore and for you, to not be there physically, was very hard for her. So I'm guessing she wanted something… touchable, to say something." Tess looked back to the sky. "She felt horrible after she realized what that meant, of course, and made a million of excuses to not talk to you, because she knew she was going to break and she didn't want you to leave her, to hate her. But it wasn't fair, not for you. That's why I sent you the picture, you needed to know." She let out a loud sigh. "And that's the story; at least it's what I know."

"I'm sorry you had to go through it all, Tess, and I wish I knew. Maybe things would have been different if I had known what Mitchie did to you."

"No, they wouldn't have, but thank you, Alex. And if you want to know." She smiled again. "I do like you, a lot. I know you will never look at me like that because you're too much into Mitchie. You might not notice it, but I do. That girl has gotten way too deep into you, but I wanted you to know how I feel about you. You're the best girl I have every known and I just truly really hope that whatever happens between you and Mitchie in a near future, she doesn't hurt you deeper than she already has. I personally will kick her ass if she does. "

I placed the guitar case next to me and pulled Tess into a hug, thing she probably didn't expect. "If I had it my way, things would have been different, I promise you that. For the three of us."

The blonde sighed again, hugging me back. "I wish I could believe that, Lex, I really do."

We stayed like that, holding each other, no words being needed. She needed a friend and I needed to clarify my thoughts. I mean, how are you supposed to take that the girl who cheated on you not only did that, but kind of betrayed her best friend? If Mitchie was willing to do that to someone she had known for so many years, why wouldn't she cheat on me again if things got difficult?

IIIIIIIIIIIII

"Hey girl, where were you at?" Nate said approaching me, as soon as he saw me entering my grandparents' front yard again. "I have been looking for you everywhere!"

"I was talking to Tess in the park, two blocks from here." I answered, looking at my steps. He placed his hand on my shoulder, making me look at him.

"Is everything alright, Lex?" I nodded.

"Yeah, don't worry. How did the sports talk go?" He smiled, running his fingers through his curls, stopping on the back of his neck and rubbing it a little, as we started walking again, towards the backyard.

"It was alright, I guess. They got so excited that we will be meeting after New Years for a friendly baseball match."

"Oh lord."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Nate agreed, chuckling. "California was looking for you, as well."

"Did you talk to her?"

"Nope, she glares at me every time she sees me and I'm pretty sure she wants to hit me." He chuckled again. "She is cute, I might admit. If she wasn't your girl, I'd probably would go after her." I smiled weakly at his joke, not paying much attention at what he was saying. I was too lost in my thoughts. "Lex, are you sure everything is okay?"

"Why?"

"I don't know, I thought you'd hit me for saying I'd go after you girl."

"I'm not that violent."

"When it comes to California you are!"

"Yeah well, she's not really my girl if you think about it." I shrugged, sighing. "She's just Mitchie."

He looked me as if I had gone insane. "What did the blonde tell you that you are acting so weird right now, Alexandra?"

"Nothing, Nate. It's just–"

"Just yesterday you were dying to talk to her, now you seem like… doubtful again?" He interrupted me, making me stop. "What is it, Lex? You know you can tell me everything, right?"

"Yes, I do know, is just that–"

"Did you and the blonde girl kiss?"

"What?" I slapped his arm. "Of course not, you idiot!"

"And you said you weren't violent!"

"Oh my god, it's impossible to talk to you, isn't it? Now you're contradicting yourself too!" I placed my hands on my hips. "Remind me why I hang out with you in the first place, again?"

"Because you wanted to get laid."

"Asshole." I said, glaring at him as he laughed.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry, Lexy." Nate placed his arm around my shoulder and made both of us continue with our walk to the backyard that we were taking years to get to. "Seriously now, can you tell me what happened?"

"Well, I just don't know if–"

"Alex." said a voice behind us, making me shiver. _That_ voice I would recognize everywhere. '_Oh lord' _was the only thing that came to my mind repetitively as I swiftly escaped from Nate's embrace, turning around and locking eyes with Tess' best friend, who didn't look very pleased with what she had found in that moment.

"Hi Mitchie." I said, nervously, looking from her to a smirking Nate. Of course he would find this entertaining. "Did you guys already been introduced?"

"No, I haven't had the _pleasure._" Mitchie said, unnecessary emphasizing the clearly sarcasm filled word 'pleasure'.

"Well, Nate this is Mitchie and Mitchie this is Nate." I said, awkwardly moving my hands as I mentioned their names.

"So this is the famous Mitchie I have heard about all this time, huh?" Nate said, like he didn't knew already and extending his hand towards her, his smirk growing bigger, as Mitchie looked at him, unimpressed. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"I would say the same, but I really haven't heard anything about you so…" I had to hold back my laughter. She looked back at me, softening her expression. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure." I said, nodding and looking back at Nate. "You don't have any problem if a leave for a moment, right?"

"It's okay, you guys _have fun._" I raised my eyebrow, questioning his tone of voice as he said have fun, but he just shrugged and walked away. I was so going to hit him one of these days and he'd know how violent can I be.

"Ugh." I let out, as looked at him walking away as he putted his hands on his coat's pockets. I sighed, looking back to Mitchie. "What do you want to talk about, Mitch?"

She looked around, biting her lip. _Oh my god, give me strength._ "Not here, can we go somewhere more… private?"

"I really don't think we can find a private place right now in the middle of a Christmas party…"

"What about the attic?"

"_That _private? Really, Mitchie, that fast?"

"Oh my god, Alex!"

"Okay, I need to stop hanging out with Nate." I said, more to me than her, but the comment made her laugh. "Follow me, then."

She nodded; taking my hand and making me shiver again in the process. We walked to the attic; passing by my cousins who had already came back and looked a little out of reality, laughing at everything around them. They probably were high, but I was not going to get into it. Not far away from them was Brandon, my only sane cousin –and the reason why I met Tess and Mitchie, if you remember– talking to Tess, who left the park a few minutes before me to avoid finding Mitchie the way Nate and I did, avoiding any kind of trouble between the two California girls. However, Tess looked up from my cousin as she saw us pass them by, smiling to me, probably her way to tell me to have good luck. I returned the smile and continued walking, not once stopping to see if Mitchie saw our little interchange or not. Anyway, when we got to the attic, I let Mitchie walk in first. Looking around, making sure nobody else but Tess saw us get there, I locked the door and turned around, my eyes connecting with Mitchie's. I took the guitar case on my shoulder and handed it to Mitchie, no word needed to be said. Her eyes lighted up and smiled, taking it, making our hands slightly touch as she did.

"You fixed it." She whispered, holding the case with one hand and opening with the other, taking the guitar out of it.

"Yeah, I did." I said, smiling at the guitar as if I was watching at my favorite child. "I'm not taking all the credit, though, because Nate helped me a lot, but it is fixed."

She rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed by the mention of Nate. "Is something he cannot do? Dear lord."

I giggled. "I think you'd like him if you gave yourself the chance to get to know him, you know."

"That's not going to happen, though."

"Why not?"

"He is your 'boyfriend'." She said, doing air quotes when she said _boyfriend. "_That alone is a great reason to want to break his perfect nose."

"Oh, so this all a jealousy business, then?"

"Yes, it is. So, sorry, Lex, I can't like him."

"That's fine, I guess, but just so you know, Mitch, he's not my boyfriend. He's my best friend." She raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" I nodded. "Then why is your mom telling everyone he is? Or better yet, what is he doing here?"

I giggled again. "Because I spend a lot of time with him and she says it's not normal for a boy and girl to spend so much time together without having something going on. And, to be quite honest, I don't really know what was she thinking when she invited the Grays here today, crazy ideas of hers, I want to believe. "

"Alrighty then but I still don't like him." She smiled, placing her left fingers on the fret board and plucking the strings of the guitar with her right fingers. "Perfect. You really did it, it is perfect, Lex, congrats."

"Thank you."

She smiled, playing a little bit more before putting it back in its case and giving it back to me. "This can wait."

"I agree, because I think we need to talk." I said, placing the guitar where I found it the first time, trying for it not to move. "And I do owe you a talk now, don't I?"

Her smile grew bigger, as she placed a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Yes, you do."

"Well, then." I said, sitting next to the window and patting the place next to mine, looking at her. "Let's start."

She sighed, in some sort of self preparation and sat next to me, placing her hand on my knee when she did it, her eyes not leaving the floor once. I waited, because I really didn't have much to say over this. I just needed to listen and then come up with an answer, based on whatever she was going to tell me.

"You see, before we met, there was this guy I really don't like. His name is Joseph, Joe for short. He is a jerk." I smiled. "I met him in freshman year and from that moment I really couldn't stand him, so we kind of hated each other for years. Anyway, last winter break, I did some dumb friend choices and started hanging out with people that aren't exactly the kind of people I try to surround myself with and of course that with it came dumb choices. One of them was starting to date Joe, out of pressure from these so called friends. It wasn't one of my most brilliant ideas because he is an asshole and Tess kind of liked him, but I just wasn't thinking then." She looked up to the ceiling, clearly avoiding my attentive eyes focused on her. "Long story short, 2 months later I really couldn't stand that guy anymore. All my 'friends' said they would stop talking to me, because he is the most popular guy from school and shit, so you know me, Michelle trying to fit in, not letting Mitchie come to senses. So I went on with the relationship, damaging my friendship with Tess as the days passed, until June when he got mad at me for some dumb reason I don't even remember and dumped me."

"Alright…"

"I was happily free again and visiting New York, away from the beloved California I couldn't stand in that moment, seemed like the best thing ever, so I brought Tess with me in my attempt to rebuild that friendship. It seemed like the perfect plan."

"I don't understand why, though, because New York is like the most humid place on earth and being here during the summer is hell, Mitch"

"Yeah, well, I learnt that later, but that's not the point, Lex." She said, giggling, finally looking at me. "We just needed to get away from everything, you know?" I nodded. "Well, New York. That's when you came into the picture. When I first saw you, I knew I wanted to know you and when we first talked, I forgot about everyone else. My friends, school, California, Tess, the party and even my mother didn't matter in that moment when I was talking to you. It was just you and me, nobody else. When you left, I knew I wanted you. I didn't know how nor when I was going to make it, but I _knew _I'd make the impossible to make us happen. There was, there is and probably will always be something that just drags me to you every time. " Man, her chocolate eyes are so beautiful… "So you can imagine I was really happy when you came back the following week and your mother made you hang out with us and well, you know what happened during that magical summer we shared."

"Yeah, I really know, trust me."

"Anyway, after we decided to keep our relationship even after I went back to California, I just kind of… never imagined I would get so attached to you. I wanted to be a better girl for you and I stopped hanging out with my so called friend to talk to you every night. I would think and talk so much about you that my real friends couldn't exactly stand me anymore. I was just so in love with you and I missed you so much that I couldn't think of anything else that wasn't you but I wanted you with me and that made it all harder. Soon enough, my friends were telling me my relationship with you wasn't healthy and I let them get into my head. Joe got word of me being in love with someone else and he didn't like it, he even had the nerve to ask me what was wrong with me to get over him so soon. It was just a big mess and I didn't know what to do. "

"Why didn't you talk to me about this, though? I would have understood the situation." She sighed, looking back at the floor again.

"I knew that talking to you meant letting you go and I didn't want that at all. I told myself I could handle the situation and fix all damage later, but I found out soon that wasn't going to happen. I should have talked to you, I agree, you would have gotten them out of my head and stop me from doing such as stupid thing as… um…" She ran her fingers through her hair. "Go back to Joe when I still was with you." straight to the shattered heart of mine. "When I stopped sending you messages every day, I started attending parties and all that kind of stuff, where I would always ran into Joe. I didn't know what I was thinking when I went back to him, I just remember that day I came home and cried. I just felt too much pressure and I stopped answering you because I wouldn't have been able to handle it. " Tears started to form in her chocolate eyes, being a proof of how much she regretted this situation. "It was just too much; Lex and I gave in to pressure. Although it only lasted about two weeks before he found another girl to be with and never went further than being seen together and the occasional awkward kisses, I felt horrible. I didn't want him, I wanted you."

I felt tears forming in my own eyes. "Bu–but, Mitch, do you realize that if–if you really wanted me, you wouldn't have–"

"No, no, no, don't say that." Mitchie interrupted me, invading my personal space and taking my face with both of her hands, bringing our faces as near as she could, probably in an attempt to don't let me any chances for me to go. "You're not getting my point, Lexy. I wanted you but my friends thought what I was having with you was doing more damage than good, I–"

"If they really were your friends, they should have let have what you wanted, not what they expected."

"I know, I know that now, they know that now." She said lowering her voice as her eyes trailed from mine to my lips. "So tempting…"

"Don't even think about it." I whispered, as her face got even closer to me, making me freeze right in my place. She looked up and smirked in such a sexy way that I had to mentally kick myself to don't kiss her.

"But you want me to, Lexy, I can see it."

"Just.. don't do it, Mitch."

"I love you, you know that? I still wish I had realized sooner." She said, pulling me as close as she could, looking directly into my eyes. "I wouldn't have made such stupid choices if I had been sure of my love for you. I would have stayed faithful, I wouldn't have driven you away." I collected all the strength I had in myself to push her away, standing up and getting as far from her as I could. If I continued there, against the wall, with her face so near to mine, I would have lost it.

"Well, Mitchie, I'm sorry, but all those I would have are too late now. We've got to face the reality: you didn't do any of that." She sighed, looking at the floor. "And what about Tess, huh?"

"What does she even have to do with us?"

"Everything, Mitch." She raised an eyebrow, in a gesture of annoyance and surprise. "You knew she liked that guy, yet you dated him, twice."

Of course she was going to get nervous after that. "I–I…"

"Even if it wasn't fair to have me in the back, not knowing anything, it was more unfair for Tess to hold her feelings inside and watch it all between her supposed best friend and the guy she liked unfold right in front of her."

Mitchie sighed. "You talked to her, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

"She doesn't understand, Alex. I thought dating him would do more good than damage, you know? She'd realize he was a jerk and forget of her ridiculous crush on him."

"I think who doesn't understand is you, Michelle. She _knows _he is a jerk, but you just can't help who you fall in love with!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air.

"Tell me what you want me to do then, Alex." She replied, clearly frustrated. "Because I really can't rebuild my friendship with her with all of this going on. Do you know she has a crush on you?!"

"That isn't her fault either."

"Oh my god, Alex, I can't with this right now." She said, covering her face with both of her hands. "The only thing I want is your forgiveness and for you to give me a second chance to prove you how much I love you, is that too much to ask for?"

"I forgave you a long time ago, Mitchie; you can bet we wouldn't be having this talk at all if it wasn't that way."

"Then, Lex, stop bringing everyone else into this." She walked to me again, placing her hands on my upper arms. "Forget about Tess, Joe, my friends, your family and even Nate. Let me prove you I can love you better now."

Take a decision based on the way she acted. What the hell was I thinking? If I did that, that would meant to just go on with it and made love to her right in that moment, right in that place because she just was enjoying invading my personal space and to be quite honest, it really isn't like I was complaining about it either. However, the simple thought of that made me blush, so I just decided to act out of an impulse, as always.

"I'm giving you two weeks."

"What?!"

"You are leaving in two weeks. Then, I'm letting you have those two weeks, just like when we started. You have to win my heart again, fix all the damage done. Make that happen and I'm all yours again." Her mouth dropped, clearly not expecting that. "But if you can't make it, we'll follow the original plan. Two weeks and we're done, no more long distance relationship, not even a long distance friendship because I think we both know it wouldn't work."

"So it's an all or nothing kind of situation, huh?"

"If you want to call it like that, then it is." She pouted then smiled.

"I'm pretty sure then, two weeks will be all I need."

"I wouldn't be so sure if I was you."

"We will see, Lex." A with that and another kiss finally returned, I realized this was not going to be another of my greatest ideas, again.

Why did I keep doing this to myself? Sigh.

* * *

**Good? Bad?** **Predictable? Rushed? Should I quit writing and play covers with my guitar on a subway station as my original plan was? Let me know! **

**Thank you all for the reviews, favorites and alert :) you are awesome and I sent you all the cookies from last chapter to your homes. If you didn't recieve it, your little sibling, dog or neighbor's dog ate it, I don't know. HAVE A NICE WEEK, EVERYBODY :) **


	5. Phone Calls

**Just a big giant SIGH for me and this chapter. The amount of times I rewrote this chapter is ridiculous, but here is it now, so sorry for the delay. Hopefully next chapters won't take as long, since the whole story has been planned out and yeah. To be honest with you, this chapter makes me feel quite weird and upset, but that's just me right now. I'm not sure if I like it –what a surprise, huh? –, but you please let me know what you think. All reviews, favorites and alerts are well appreciated. **

**A special shout out to JBDLSG. Thank you for the birthday wish and I hope you had a wonderful birthday yourself :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this story. The credit of the characters' names, books mentioned and songs used to tell this story goes to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight. Specially Nicholas Sparks, Ed Sheeran and The Beatles for this chapter, god bless your creative souls, guys. **

**Now to the chapter. Enjoy.**

* * *

**CHAPTER V: Phone Calls. **

_Two weeks. _

_That was everything she needed to make me feel completely different from what I was before she entered my life. She had made me open my mind to new things, changed my perspective of life and make me realize that, sometimes, it was worth taking chances, all of it just in two weeks. I still had a lot to learn from her but time had run out and her departure was just a few hours away. _

_None of us had said anything about it today. She only hugged me as tightly as she could as soon as she saw me, when my mom and I went to her grandmother's house to pick them up and take them to the airport. She said nothing and had remained that way all the ride there, when we were sitting in the backseat of my mother's car, both of our mothers talking and laughing like the old friends they were, just as Mitchie had her head placed on my shoulder and her sight focused on our laced hands. Tess was looking out of the window, purple ear buds on, zoned out of the world. I was looking at the road ahead of us, my head resting on Mitchie's. We both knew that as soon as she set a foot on that plane to California, that'd be it. Even if we didn't want it, we'd have to say goodbye and go into different paths. We both were very well aware of it, yet we were avoiding it as much as we could._

_None of us thought two weeks of doing this, maintaining whatever we were having, would affect us as much as it was doing it. _

"_You okay there, Mitch?" I whispered, making her look up a little, connecting her big and bright brown eyes with mine. She smiled, sadly. _

"_Yeah, I am for now." She responded, as quietly as I had asked her. She looked to the road and then to our hands, again, caressing mine with her thumb. "Don't ask me in 20 minutes, though."_

_I returned the sad smile, kissing the top of her head. "It'll be alright."_

"_I hope so." _

"_I'm sure it will be."_

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Two weeks.

It all started with two weeks and it pretty much was going to end just that way.

Much had changed since that day, when Mitchie was going back to California after the summer break. The hopeful Alex that asked Mitchie in the airport, just before she had to go, to keep their relationship in the distance, promising to make it work no matter what it took, had turned into a doubtful Alex, who was doing the impossible to avoid Mitchie as much as she could, while the Californian was trying her best to make the relationship work again.

Those two weeks of summer afternoons hiding from everyone just to have some sort of peace together, had been like heaven to me because we were just… happy. Nothing else mattered, it was just me and her; enjoying the time we had to spend together. But now, as the cold winter nights went by, everything just seemed wrong to me and it was too much to handle.

Mitchie cheated on me. As much as I wanted to let go of it, I couldn't. It was permanently written on my brain and every time I was with Mitchie, it would randomly come up to me. I would forget it for a moment, when her smile would be the only thing occupying my mind and when her soft lips on mine would make everything else look senseless, but soon after it would hit me with the speed of a lightening and the strength of a train, making me feel really uncomfortable and unhappy with myself. _Why was I doing this?_ I would always ask myself, to then start treating Mitchie with such coldness without meaning to. She understood but it didn't mean it didn't hurt her: It did. Much more than she'd let me see, much more than I think even she ever thought it would hurt her. So I guess that was the reason I had reached to the white sheet of paper laying on my desk and the pen that was repetitively hitting the table, while I was over thinking the situation, like I would always do. Was I really going to end it like this? Truth to be told, this idea had come to my mind when problems with Mitchie started showing up right after our little arrangement, being doubts, when I started being unable to completely trust her again and jealousy, when she couldn't stand my friendship with Tess now that I knew about her crush on me, the main cause of it all. The amount of times we fought over both situations we're unbelievable, showing us both how much our relationship had changed. Back then, whenever we would have a disagreement, we would talk it out and not yell, as we were doing lately.

This wasn't fair, not for me, not for her. The feelings existed, but we had came to a point where that wasn't enough. Every relationship needed the trust I had lost and I needed to let go of her, even if it was killing me inside.

To do that was not going to be easy. She had so much power over me and I was so fucking whipped that the thought alone of telling her how I was feeling about everything made me change my mind and want to keep the relationship we were maintaining. Then, when I would come to my senses, I knew I had to do it, for both of our sakes. However, I decided against telling her myself, because I just knew I was not going to be able to hold myself together in front of her: I would give in and that was the last thing we needed. Nonetheless, I was having a lot of trouble thinking about what to say. How do you even tell someone this kind of stuff?

I sighed. As if my thoughts had invocated her, my phone started ringing, showing up only her name. I looked at it for a moment as it rang, trying to remember how did the picture her contact on my phone used to have before I deleted looked like. It was a beautiful picture of her, with her face-eating smile I loved so much, her brown slightly curly hair falling to her shoulders just as a lock of her hair covered the corner of one of her intense and mesmerizing brown eyes, as the sun hit on her face so perfectly that you could think you were looking at an angel. I sighed again, answering the phone.

"_Do you want to hang out with me today, Lex?"_ was the first thing I heard as soon as I answered, making me sigh, yet again.

"Don't you think your mom is going to find this all suspicious? I mean, you're in New York, Mitch. You should be exploring the city instead of staying home with me."

"_I'll be leaving in a few days and New York will always be there. So what's the rush? I can come some other time with the soil purpose of visiting the city, with you, of course."_ I looked down at my red sweater, focusing on a little piece of lose thread in it. _"You're more important right now."_

"Did you know that New York would be one of the first cities in disappear if the global warming continues as it is?"

"_Alex!_"

"What? It's true!"

"_You know what I meant!_" I heard her sigh in the other line. "_Why do I have a feeling you just don't want to hang out with me?_"

"It's not that, Mitch–"

"_You said you'd give me two weeks yet are avoiding me as much as you can." _Of course she was guilt-tripping me but the tone in her voice made my heart ache. She just had no idea.

"I'm not avoiding you, bright eyes." I whispered, the use of the nickname making her breathing calm a bit. "I just don't want your mom nor mine to give it too much thought to the situation. That's all."

"_You didn't care that much at all back in summer, though._"

"My mom doesn't pay attention to me during the summer, Mitchie!"

"_I think you're just giving me excuses." _I covered my face, exasperated.

"Ugh, Mitchie, fine, we'll have it your way." I replied, sighing in defeat. "What do you want to do?"

"_Are you alone?" _I giggled. "_Alexandra, get your head out of the gutter!_"

"I didn't even say anything! But yes, I am alone. My dad is going to watch a football game with his friends, Max is staying over at his best friend's house, Justin is out with his girlfriend and my mom went to pick you guys up to go to the city, if I'm not mistaken."

"_Then I guess I can ask your mom to take me to the sub shop and I'll meet you there? We can watch movies and cuddle, just like the old times. _"

"I guess so."

"_Alright then, see you soon, popcorn!_" She exclaimed; her voice suddenly sounding excited, thing I didn't understand since my answer wasn't very nice. _"I love you, Lex!" _I nodded as if she could see me and hung up the phone, looking at it for a few seconds again. Then, I threw it to my bed and laid my head on my desk's table, closing my eyes and trying to think of something to do about this now. Like ten minutes later, my phone rang again, making me groan. I got up from my desk and walked to my bed, picking it up again. '_I'm not there anymore and I still can sense how hard this is being for you. Take it easy, Lex. If it's not meant to be, it just isn't.'_ said my phone in a notification globe, under the name of _Tess. _I smiled, sadly.

There goes another reason why I got into an argument with Mitchie in the last few days.

The blonde girl and the brown eyed girl got into a fight a couple of days after Mitchie and I agreed to give our relationship another try, mostly because Tess wasn't very happy with my decision. I talked to her and we worked it out, but it wasn't that easy for Mitchie since it was clear she was completely jealous of the good friendship I maintained with her best friend. But anyway, the result of Mitchie and Tess' argument was Tess' ticket back to California, thing that made me really upset and that didn't make Mitchie very happy when I exposed my feelings to her.

'_I'll try, but I make no promises. Don't get lost, okay?' _was my reply to Tess, which was sent with a lot of weight on it. If Mitchie knew about this still existent interchange between us, she'd be really mad.

_Tess: I won't ;) _

I smiled again, putting the phone in my pocket without replaying and getting out of my room, ready to set it all out for when Mitchie arrived. If I couldn't fight against it, then the least I could do was try to make it the best that I could, for my sake, for Mitchie's sake, because I still would do everything for Mitchie to be happy, even after everything we had gone through.

IIIIIIIIIIIIII

"If it wasn't because I love this girl so much, you'd be in trouble, Alexandra Russo!" My mom said looking at me from the driver's seat with a smile on her face as Mitchie got out of her the back of her car, where some of my aunts were sitting too. "You're not letting her meet the beautiful city that New York is!"

"Me?! Why?! She was the one with the idea!" I defended myself, pointing at Mitchie, who giggled.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Russo, but you I already explained it to you." Mitchie said, walking to me and holding my arm, with the biggest smile on her face. "I'm leaving in a few days and I just don't want to go without spending as much time as I can with Alex! It's been so little since we know each other and I could swear she's like my best friend!"

"Oh aren't they adorable?" Mitchie's mom said, looking at me with a sweet smile on her face. Oh god. "Take care of my daughter, alright, Alex?"

"Yes, Alex, I don't want any trouble, okay?" My mom said. "We'll be back around nine!"

"Yes, mom, don't worry, I'm not really going to take her out." I said, looking at Mitchie and poking her nose. "Right, Mitchie?"

"Yes, don't worry, Mrs. Russo" Mitchie said, with a dreamy smile of her face that I tried my best to cover because _that _would have given us away. "Have fun in the city!"

My aunts –who surprisingly enough hadn't said anything– waved goodbye to us just as my mom started the car. Mitchie waited until they were out of our sight to look back at me with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Why are you smiling like that?" She bit her inferior lip and trailed her hand from my arm to my hand, leading me to the inside of my house.

"Hi." She whispered, once she closed the door, placing her arms around my neck and capturing my lower lip between hers in a sweet kiss. Every time she would kiss me like this, everything would be forgotten, even if it was just a little while. The taste of her lips would get to my head so hard that I would lose sense of everything else but me and her. I placed my arms around her tiny waist, returning the kiss with the same intensity. A few minutes later, when breathing became a problem, she pulled away, smiling again and placing her forehead against mine, keeping her eyes closed. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, bright eyes." Mitchie giggled as her smile grew bigger.

"I love it when you call me that."

"Why?" I asked and she leaned in and pecked my lips.

"I don't know; it's cute."

"Alrighty then." I said, chuckling, pulling a bit away from her but not letting go of her embrace just yet. "Are we going to watch that movie or what?"

"What's the rush, though?" She said, kissing me once again. "We have all the afternoon…"

"We might, but we should get into it, Mitch."

"But–" Giving her no time to complain again, 'Helter Skelter' by the Beatles was heard, making her quickly pull away from me, taking her phone out of her back pocket. She looked at the screen and her face turned white for a moment. What was going on this time? "Um, Lex, can you give me a moment?"

"Okay but who is it?"

"Um, no one I just got to… attend this." Mitchie replied, pressing the green button on the screen of her phone and walking away, taking the phone to her ear and leaving me there completely confused. Not that it mattered or anything, but who was so important for her to answer the phone right now? I'm only saying this because, usually, whenever her phone would ring and we were together, unless it was her mother, she'd ignore the call. It was clear it was not her mother, since she had just left a few minutes before and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have minded answering the phone in front of me if it was, so who was calling her? I looked at her from the spot where I had stayed, as she walked from side to side in the kitchen. She looked irritated. '_You're not going to get anything out of staring at her like that, Lex' _said the voice inside my head that sounded just like my best friend. _'Ask her after she finishes her call' _I nodded, agreeing with myself –and questioning my sanity yet again– and moved to the living room, where I had set everything for our 'date', to call it something. I sat on the couch, putting my feet on the coffee table and turning on the TV, waiting for Mitchie to finish. After a while of flicking channels, I felt the couch shifting and someone leaning on me. I looked away from the TV to my left, my eyes finding Mitchie's gorgeous face. She placed her head on my shoulder, making me shiver as soon as I felt her breath on my neck.

"Did I miss anything?" She asked, taking the remote from my hand and doing the exact same task I was doing.

"Not really, I was waiting for you." I replied, looking back to the TV, trying to sound as uninterested as I could when I asked the next thing. "Everything okay there, Mitch?" Her breath on my neck stopped for a moment and I felt her tense a little.

"Um, Ye–yes, wh–why are you asking?" The nervous tone in her voice didn't go unnoticed.

"Just making sure, you looked a bit upset during your call."

"Do–don't worry about it, Lex. It was just… a guy from… um, my math class… that, um, wanted to talk about some assignment." I raised an eyebrow, well aware that she couldn't see me. "Yes, that…" the couch shifted again and Mitchie stood up, swiftly making her way to the DVD player and looking at the movies I had placed on top of it. "What if we watch…" She gave a look to the DVD case on her hand and then showed it to me. "P.S. I Love You?" I nodded.

"As you wish, princess." She smiled at the nickname and got into it.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I looked outside of the door, making sure that no one was around –and by no one meaning Mitchie–, looking from left to right, for the tenth time. Once I was finally sure, I closed the door and locked it, taking the phone out of my jeans' front pocket and sitting on the floor, with my back against the door. I unlocked my phone and searched for Nate's number, pressing 'call' once I found it. I placed the phone on my ear and listened to it ringing, continuously running my fingers through my black hair as I waited. After three rings, his masculine voice was heard, with the casual _"What's up, Russo?"_ He'd always use when answering me.

"She's hiding something." I whispered, still paranoid of being heard by the brunette in my living room.

"_What on earth are you talking about and why are you whispering?"_

"California."

"_Oh, I see."_ He answered, the tone in his voice telling me he probably nodded while saying that. I smiled a little. _"Are you guys on a date?"_

"I guess you could say that."

"_And I assume you probably are hiding in the bathroom to talk to me, right?"_ I looked around, sighing in defeat when the white toilet in front of me came to my view. He laughed. _"I knew it."_

"Yeah, yeah, it doesn't matter where I am." I replied. "I think she's hiding something."

Nate sighed in the other line. _"Why do you think that?"_

"I don't know, she received a call and she got very nervous after it, which gave me a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is going on." I said so fast that I barely understood what I said. However, it seemed like the curly haired boy got it.

"_Did you ask her?"_

"Yes, she said it was a guy from her math class but she certainly didn't sound convinced and I don't know what to do!" I whisper-yelled, exasperated, covering my face.

"_I think you should trust her, Alex, I don't see what would she win lying to you, mostly because she is trying to regain your trust." _I scratched the back of my neck. _"However, if you really can't get it out of your head, I'll give you the bad advice of taking the phone from her and look if she really was called by a classmate." _

"How am I supposed to do that, though?_"_

"_I don't know, Alex, I'm pretty sure you'll come up with something." _

"You are so not helpful, you know that?" He chuckled on the other line, again.

"_Well, Lexy, you're talking about girl problems with a boy." _

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Thank you, Nathaniel."

"_Anytime, Alexandra. Let me know what happens, alright?_"

"Will do."

After I hung up with him, I stayed there, against the door, looking at the toilet, thinking about what to do. Once an idea came to my mind –which wasn't very great, but at least was something– I stood up and got out of the bathroom, noticing the wonderful smell of pasta being made surrounding the house. Following it, I ran to the spiral staircase and walked down it, finding Mitchie using my mom's apron as she cooked with a really cute concentration expression on her face. Since she was so concentrated on what she was cooking, she didn't notice me coming down. Smiling, I walked to her, holding her from behind, lacing my fingers on her stomach and giving her a kiss on the cheek, thing that made her giggle.

"What are you doing, bright eyes?" I asked her, looking at what she was cooking.

"Well, I figured you'd be hungry sometime soon, so I decided to cook for you my mom's special spaghetti recipe." She answered, giggling again. "Does it smell good?"

"Are you kidding me? My house hasn't smelled this good in years!" I kissed her cheek again. "So thank you, Mitchie."

"Anything for you, Lexy." She said, sweetly, looking at me with a little smirk on her face. I returned the smile, resting my chin on her shoulder, holding her a bit tighter. "It should be ready in like 15 minutes."

"Alright." I whispered, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder, which made her tense up a little. Well, here goes my _'brilliant'_ plan. I kissed her cheek again and she turned her head to look me in the eye.

"What are you doing?" She asked, clearly happy that I had decided to be all touchy feely. _Dear god, I am going to hell for this. _

"You're just… so beautiful…" I said, looking down at her lips, swiftly, but enough for her to notice. She bit her lower lip. My heart was going insane inside my chest, while my brain was telling me not to do it, but there really wasn't time to think about anything. I just leaned in and kissed her, as intensely as I could without losing my mind. I really couldn't lose my mind in that moment. Mitchie's breathing turned heavy, as she kissed me back, letting go of the spoon she was holding and turning around, placing her arms around my neck and deepening the kiss.

'_Alright, Alexandra, this is the moment. FOCUS.' _The voice inside my head said, trying to keep me in check of reality. I held Mitchie's waist with one hand and started tracing my way down her back to_ her jeans' back pocket_ with the other, furiously blushing as I did. To be quite honest, to this day I am not sure if she ever felt or not that my hand slipped inside her pocket, but the thought alone still made me blush a lot. I'm guessing she didn't, because she would've said something. At least, that's what I want to believe. Anyway, I took the phone out of her pocket, making the kiss even more intense as I did so in an attempt for her not to notice. Trying to keep my focus on the kiss, I awkwardly moved my hand to safely put her phone in my own jeans' back pocket, holding her waist again as soon as I did and continuing with the kiss until breathing became necessary. When we pulled away, she sighed in content, smirking and licking her lips, as the guilty feeling of what I had just done took over of me.

I mean, what was the point of avoiding her so much if at the end I was going to make out with her to get what I wanted just because of my lack of trust, that in fact was the reason I was avoiding her in the first place? I groaned in my sides. I was such a bad person.

"I'll let you finish." I said, awkwardly, as I let go of her. She nodded, probably still trying to process what had happened just a few minutes before, and went back to what she was doing before I interrupted her.

Meanwhile, I ran to the living room and sat on the couch, feeling paranoid again as my heart started beating with a lot of strength inside my chest, taking the phone out of my pocket. I pressed the menu button, making the screen light up. Right under the hour and the date was a picture of us, taken back in summer break. I was wearing a white tank top and my hair in a ponytail, closing one eye because the sun was hitting on my face just as next to me was Mitchie, wearing my red leather jacket and my shades, with the beautiful face eating smile of hers adorning her face. I smiled, remembering that day. We had gone to the beach and she had taken my shades from me as soon as she saw me. Later on the day, as we were on our way back home, she found my jacket on the car, exclaiming excitedly how much she loved leather jackets while she started putting it on. She looked so good in that thing that I was unable to take it from her, so she kept it. I stared at the picture for a few seconds, running my fingers through my hair a couple of times. If only we could have that back. The smile on my face disappeared, and not really happy with what I was going to do next, I unlocked the phone, pressing the 'Phone' little green icon that appeared on the inferior left corner of her screen. My heart dropped as soon as I saw the first name on that list.

_Joe. _

A little upset, I looked back to the kitchen, making sure Mitchie wasn't around. Then, I looked again at the short name. It had a little number five after the three letters his name consisted of, meaning he had called her five times. I sighed, pressing the menu button and staring at the screen again, being the 'Texts' icon what caught my attention this time. She wouldn't text him, would she? Something inside me told me I already knew the answer. However, I pressed the icon. The last text she had gotten was from him and there went all my chances of ever fully trusting her again.

You must think I was overreacting. What were those five calls? I didn't know what she had told him. What if she asked him to leave her alone? I would never know. However, texts were there, everything that they had said to each other was there. Then again, what was a text? What if he really was in her math class? I laughed in my insides. Of course he wasn't, because I could bet everything I owned that she would never send to a classmate from a math class a text saying '_Pick me up in the airport when I get back and we'll talk. My mom won't mind.' _nor would the classmate respond saying '_Can't wait for you to come back to Cali, babe ;)_', taking special note on the '_babe'. _

"Lex, dinner is ready!" I heard Mitchie say loudly, making me jump and turn around, throwing her phone to the couch, afraid I had just been caught. Thankfully, she had decided to stay in the kitchen, so she probably still didn't know I had her phone.

"Coming!" I responded, sounding worse than I expected myself to sound. But, I mean, I was not in the best state of mind after what I had just found. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and took the phone from the couch, double-clicking the menu button and closing both applications I had used, leaving the phone in the couch again once I did it, following what had been my plan from the beginning: Take the phone from her, check it and then leave it on the couch and claim she had left it there while we were watching the movie. I looked at myself in the TV screen, making sure I didn't look like the upset and confused mess I was and then went back to the girl waiting for me in the kitchen, girl I would never be able to look at as the sweet, beautiful and cute girl I met and fell for back in the summer again.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

_I don't care how much she wants to talk to me, that fucking phone needs to stop ringing. She needs to stop calling me and the fucking world needs to stop spinning, because this is all too much for me to handle right now. Why can't she just accept that there is nothing left to say? Our time had finished, because she had wanted it that way. She had given me all the reasons I needed to not be with her anymore and even though it was killing me to ignoring her like this after two months of making her my daily routine, it's better if we just don't talk at all. I don't want to hear her voice, not on the phone, not on my voicemail, not ever again._

_I started to feel suffocated, knowing the anxiety was building up once again. This had been happening ever since I found out about what she had been doing behind my back. 'Why was the world moving so fast?' I thought. It really felt like it was moving in such a fast motion that it was going to be impossible for me to keep up with its pace. I was barely holding on. I closed my eyes, inhaling and exhaling repetitively, trying to calm down. My phone started to ring again and I threw it across the room without even taking the time to look at it. I knew who it was. I pulled my legs to my chest, holding to them as if my life depended on it, closing my eyes yet again as I rested my head on my knees._

_Why did this have to happen to me?_

"_I hate her." I said in a whisper. "I hate her."_

_Why had she done this to me? I would have screamed if it wasn't so late. I would have cried, if no one was in here but at the same time I wouldn't, because I would have been angry with myself for doing it. She didn't deserve any of my tears. I closed my eyes, yet again. I needed to calm down. The world was not going to stop for me, because it really hadn't changed at all. It was keeping its course, just as my life was still pretty much the same before I met the cause of my melt down. I still would wake up every morning, go to school, hang out with my friends, come back home, work at the sub shop and spend my nights drawing or playing the guitar upstairs, in my room. Nothing really had changed nor was going to change now that she was gone. _

_Why was I so hung up to this, then? I didn't know, but what I did know was that she needed to get out of my head, my phone and my life already and I was going to do the impossible to get her out. _

_IIIIIIIIIIIII_

I opened my eyes, trying to take the memory out of my head. This was the last thing I needed right now.

I had woken up, given my mom the letter I had written between sobs the night before and asked her to give it to Mitchie. She asked me why wasn't I going to say goodbye to her and I just said I didn't feel well. I probably looked really awful, because she didn't do further questions. She said she'd give the letter to Mitchie. When she left, I went back to my room and laid in my bed again, looking at the ceiling, thinking about what was going to happen as soon as that plane to California left New York and everything else that happened before that.

So as I think you're guessing that day was Mitchie's departure.

Every time I would think of her, a chick flick would come to my mind. A love story about a guy from the special forces of the USA Army that falls in love with a girl he meets on the beach. They spend the remaining two weeks of summer together and spend the next couple of months sending letters back and forth, in an attempt to keep their love alive. If you don't know what book I'm talking about, it's Dear John by Nicholas Sparks.

Although my love story with Mitchie was different in so many ways, it also was really similar to the one described in that book.

I would wait for Mitchie's emails, texts, phone calls or whatever as patiently as John would wait for Savannah's letters. I felt as upset, furious and meaningless when I heard about the truth behind Mitchie's coldness as John felt when he received that last letter from Savannah. But most of it, I think the whole 'two weeks' situation I was holding on with Mitchie at this moment was being as painful to me as it was for John to look at Savannah in front of him, after his father's death and his return to Charleston, knowing she wasn't his anymore. However, even if every time I would read that book or watch the movie I would feel more indentified with John, that day I realized I had been acting like Savannah did before sending that last letter to John. In fact, I had done the exact same thing she did: send a letter, because any other option seemed too hard to handle.

The night I read her texts resulted to be the last date we had and the last day I saw her. She noticed I was acting weird but didn't say nor ask anything about it. When my mom passed by to pick her up and take her and her mother to her grandmother's house, she panicked when she didn't feel her phone in her pocket, yet never wondered how it landed on the couch. After it, I avoided her even more than I did before, coming to a point when I would just turn off my phone and not look at it all day. She got worried, of course, but since I never gave her my house's phone number she had no way to contact me, no matter how much she tried and thing that probably was driving her nuts. But it didn't matter anymore, because this was for the best.

She was finally going to be out of my life and, hopefully, peace, the peace I needed so much, would come back to me.

I closed my eyes again, covering my face. I didn't regret anything of what had happened, Mitchie had made me happy, but sometimes I really wished none of it had happened. The scar she had left would be there forever, there was no doubt of that. I was insecure myself before meeting Mitchie and now, having _that _on my mind every second of the day made me feel even worse. Why was I never good enough? That was something I would never answer, just like I would never understand why did she even try to fix this is she was not going to let go of him either.

I wasn't sure of how much time I had been just there, laying down and staring at the ceiling, when my phone rang. I still don't know why I didn't turn it off, specially that day. I knew who it was and what she wanted. For a moment, I seriously thought of ignoring the call but then I remembered it was Mitchie who we were talking about. She would not leave me alone until I answered. I reached to my left nightstand, where I had left my phone, and tried to find it without looking. Once I got it, I looked at the screen, Mitchie's name on it and answered.

"Yeah?"

"_Alex!" _Her broken voice got me right away. She was crying. _"Alex, please…"_

I sighed, holding myself back, because I didn't want to break down. "I'm sorry, Mitch."

"_Why are you doing this? We can work it out, I swear to god we can. You just need to give me a chance!_"

"We tried once and it didn't work, Mitch. Why would it now? We don't need to go through it twice. It's better this way, for both of us."

"_Then why did you say you'd give me a chance, huh? You want this to work as much as I do, so please don't give up on me now, Alex, just don't, I'm begging you!"_

"Because I thought I could handle it, but I have realized I can't. I'm sorry. "

"_Let me change your mind, please." _She sounded desperate. I closed my eyes, as a single tear escaped my eyes. _"Come here and let's talk. Please?"_

"There's nothing to talk anymore, though. I said everything I needed to say in that letter and I really am sorry I can't do anything to change my own mind, Mitchie. I would do it if I could, but I can't. " I took a deep breath, whipping the tear. "I really can't."

"_Then why did you made me think I could fix this if you were just going to break up with me with a fucking letter?! I love you and you're just… breaking my heart. Why, Alex? Why?"_

I swallowed the bump in my throat. "I'm sorry, Mitchie." Her sobs became more audible, probably due to the frustration she must have felt at my lack of words. But I really didn't have anything else to say. At least, not what she wanted to hear.

"_You're an asshole."_

"I know."

"_Fuck you, Alex, just fuck you."_

"Bye, Michelle."

"_Alexandra Russo, don't you dare hang–_"

She didn't get the chance to finish the phrase, because I didn't want to hear anything else. I hung up, quickly wrote a text for Nate, left the phone on the nightstand, pulled my knees as closer as I could and started crying, letting out everything I had been holding back, wishing, that day more than any other in my life, that those two weeks of wonderful summer afternoon had never happened, because it hurt, a lot. And for a moment the first time, I regretted everything I had done.

But my mind was made and from here, there was no turning back. At least, not anymore.

* * *

**Another huge and giant sigh for me? I think so, but let me know what you think with a review. Have a wonderful week, everyone. **


	6. Friendship

**Hello there, lovely people! **

**So after a week of complaining on twitter about everything (HeyThereDelena, if anyone is interested on see how silly I really am) and a few days of laziness along with a small writer's block I had, here is the chapter. I might take a while with Chapter 7 because I'm in the middle of midterm exams so be patient with me. **

**I must be honest with you, this chapter is sort of a filler, reason why is a bit shorter and a bit rushed (or so it seems to me), but it needed to happen for the porpoise of the following chapters. **

**Anyway, with nothing else to say, I leave you with the chapter and thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favorites this story have gotten, they make me really happy :D**

******Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this story and Alison Anderson at the moment. The credit of the characters' names and songs used to tell this story goes to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter VI: Friendship.**

It wasn't fair.

That was what had run through my mind for the following days after Mitchie left. None of it was fair. I just wanted to disappear, to not face reality for a while. I had given her almost everything and walking away from her was tearing me apart. I didn't want her anymore, yet my heart was yearning for her everything. I didn't need her, but my body did. It just was a stream of mixed feelings I didn't need at all.

I slammed my locker's door shut, earning annoyed look from the people around me. I didn't care. I was too into my shit I couldn't think of anything else. My anger and hurt towards Mitchie occupied my mind every hour of the day. My grades were dropping, yet I couldn't find the will to come out of this ridiculous state of mind and move on already. I sighed, putting my earphones on and walking to my next class, trying to block out all the obnoxious noise around me. I looked around, finding Nate in the end of the hallway, hanging out with the group of jerks his baseball team was conformed with, being not far from them the group of girls that would follow them around. I rolled my eyes; thinking how hard to believe my best friend Nate and the baseball player Nate were the same. I turned to my left, my eyes meeting Harper, holding hands and looking all cute with Zeke, having my older brother Justin and his girlfriend, Juliet, by their side. I quickly looked to the floor and walked past them, pretending I didn't see them because I really didn't want to deal with them in that moment. Once I got into the classroom, I sat in the back and pulled the hood of my sweatshirt up, covering my face and blocking out reality as the students filled the room. I had been doing this so much lately I wasn't surprised not even Nate was trying to do something about this anymore. I chuckled, bitterly. _"Brave best friend I have there, huh?" _I sarcastically said in my insides.

_Best friend. _Thinking of that only brought one thing to my mind: Kindergarten.

The first day of kindergarten is one of the most remembered days by our mothers from our childhood. They always talk about how nervous or excited we were about it, if we cried or just waked goodbye once our parents left us in that building to the care of a teacher. Every single person that is willing to listen to our mothers talk about it with a spark of nostalgia in their eyes will know every detail of that morning, although there's something not even our mothers talk about and that somehow is much more exciting than just the first time we walk inside that place itself: How we felt after that first day of kindergarten, when we were so excited to tell our parents about the most important thing that happened that day, which was meeting our very first _best friend. _

_Best friend _is something with a lot of weight in the entire journey that life is. When you are in kindergarten, a best friend is that first person you talk to on the first day of school, who quickly becomes your favorite person to play with. In Elementary School, your best friend is that person who is going to be by your side during the first day at the new school, imagining together all those bad things about school you have heard from older kids. In Middle School, however, things start changing. If you want to fit it, your best friend will be whoever leads you to that and if you don't, then you best friend becomes whoever is really not trying to fit in as well. Once you find that person, the games are changed for sleepovers, just like hide and seek turns into secret sharing. You both are changing and even if you don't understand what's happening, you feel better knowing you have someone to share those strange changes with you.

But you could say High School is the institute who teaches you the most about this particular subject. During these four years, the changes are even more noticeable than before: more people trying to fit in, the first crushes, the first real enemies that came out of nowhere, the first dates, the first love, the first heartbreak and everything else that comes in between. During High School, you discover if the person you have called your best friend all the time you have known each other really is your friend or if that person just has been lying to you and talking shit behind your back, being that discovery, in case of it being true, sometimes even more difficult than the actual first heartbreak, or so I have been told, because thankfully, after kindergarten, I never had to go through that at all.

For me, being the awkward girl I am, meeting someone has always been one of the most difficult things to do, and my first day of kindergarten wasn't the exception, in fact, it actually was like the beginning. Anyway, when my mom gave me a kiss on the forehead, told me to be good, gave my hand to one of the teacher outside the school receiving the kids and I watched her leave, I realized what that meant: I was alone, with no parental supervision, for the very first time in my life. Of course, I panicked and I started crying. The teacher tried to calm me down with the sweet voice she could use, as she walked me to my classroom –I'm guessing my mom gave her all that information, of course– and told me everything was going to be alright. While the teacher who walked me to my classroom talked to my actual teacher, I took the decision, not knowing I was taking it, of not talking to anyone unless it was completely necessary, because I was scared shitless of the unfamiliar faces around me.

The teacher made me sit in the empty sit between a red haired girl and a curly haired boy, both trying to look at everything else but each other. When I sat between them, the teacher started giving us all the information our little brains could register, with the sweetest voice as well. Truth is I don't really remember what she said –nor do I think you were expecting me to remember it– but I do remember looking to my sides, meeting eyes with the curly haired boy and the read haired girl, coming into some sort of silent agreement of staying together through the day. We did as we agreed, even when we didn't even know we were agreeing to something and became best friends from that day on, even though at first, as I think you know already, I was closer to Nate, the curly haired boy, because we both were obsessed with baseball, while Harper, the red haired girl, thought it was 'too dangerous'. As the years went by and the typical growing changes came into view, Harper and I became much closer than before. We used talk, dream and share everything. She used to know all there was to know about Alex Russo, and I knew everything there was to know about Harper Finkle. However, we sort of started being distant with one another when she started dating my older brother Justin's best friend, Zeke. They were very in love and did everything together, like any other couple did during the very first months of any relationship. Nonetheless, the sad thing of it all was while Justin didn't seem to be very upset about it because he was in the very same stage with his girlfriend, Juliet, I was upset at first. Harper would give all her energy to her relationship and I would be forgotten. She noticed a couple of times, telling me she'd try to balance her time out, but soon after, Harper started hanging out a lot with Juliet and Justin as well, on double dates that I wasn't needed in and probably the reason I decided to go to Nate instead of Harper when the entire 'California situation', as Nate liked to call it, went downhill, putting aside all my fears that have been previously exposed.

But anyway, no matter what had or hadn't happened, in that moment, when the 'post break up' depression was hitting me harder than the last time, Nate didn't know what to do anymore and I just _needed _my best friend, the girl who had been with me in every situation all through the innocence of elementary school, the inner and outer growing of middle school and the cruelty of high school, because everything was just a freaking mess. Ever since I called it quits for good with Mitchie, everything had lost sense, just like the last time, and even though I was very well aware this was the best thing to do, I was insolating myself once again, frustrating Nate more than he'd let show in the process, but he actually didn't understand how I was feeling, for the first time in all the years we had been friends.

I made the hood fall out, when I unconsciously ran my fingers through my straight hair, giving me a clear view of the teacher walking inside the already filled classroom, with a brunette girl I had never seen in my life behind her. I pulled out my earphones and turned off the music, putting it inside my jeans' pocket. The brunette girl looked way too nervous, so she probably was new. Big green eyes, dark brown straight hair and gorgeous features, wearing a zipped leather jacket and skinny jeans, biting her lower lip every once in a while, thing that brought Tess to my mind, making me smile for a second and then frown, remembering the last time I talked to her: She called me one day, like a week after Mitchie had gone back to California, desperately crying. She was so sad and upset that I actually got worried at first. What was going on? I didn't have to wait much longer to get that answer. While she cried, Tess told me what I was expecting yet fearing to hear, being one of the worst things I had ever heard in my life, probably after the top one that remains being 'Mitchie cheated on you': Mitchie Torres was dating the guy named Joe again. Even though it was my fault, my heart broke right away that information was registered in my brain, because I somehow expected Mitchie would had some sort of respect for our relationship and at least wait a bit longer to just jump into another. I guess I thought wrong. As a result of this, Tess was done with Mitchie's bullshit and wanted to stop this nonsense for a while, asking me to not look for her at all and just stop our friendship as it was, because the thought alone of Mitchie made her want to throw up and she didn't want to be rude to me just because I was constant reminder of Mitchie. I had to accept, because she did need a break: Even though I had gotten cheated on, Tess had to see it all and now, having to watch how her so called best friend had gone back to the guy she still knew Tess liked was just straight fucked up and unneeded.

I sighed. I really wished I could stop thinking about it, even if it was just a minute. Consuming my time in a situation that was no longer existent was not good for me nor was for anyone that had to put up with me, even if they didn't know what was really going on. It just was exhausting.

The new girl swiftly walked to the sit next to me, giving all her attention to the teacher once she was sitting as she softly placed her hands on her knees, moving her right foot every once in a while. She still was nervous and couldn't wait to get out of this class, I could tell just by looking at her. She turned her head to me, probably feeling my eyes on her, with a questioning look. I gave her a weak smile, shrugging. She rolled her green eyes, smiled back and gave her attention to the teacher once again. I raised an eyebrow, amused with our little interchange. What was I doing? Curiosity killed the cat, so I went for it and decided to be a dead cat. I ripped a piece of paper as quietly as I could, made a small ball out of it and threw it at her. The blonde girl turned to me, clearly annoyed.

"I'm trying to pay attention, you know." She whispered; the tone on her voice catching me out of guard, because I'm guessing I expected it to be a lot more… sweeter.

"Hi." I said, surprised with myself. "I'm sorry to distract you, but what's your name?" She giggled, probably as surprised of what I had just done as I was.

"Alison." She responded, using a sweeter tone in her voice this time.

"Alison." I repeated, nodding. "That's a pretty name."

She giggled again. "Thank you. And you a–"

"Miss Russo, stop corrupting our newest member." My teacher said, interrupting Alison, who right away sat straight in her chair again, as I looked up to the woman in front of the blackboard.

"Oh, no, it was my fault, Mrs. Robinson." Alison was quick to respond, giving her an innocent smile. "I was asking her something about the class."

"Yeah, you know me, always helping people out." I awkwardly contributed, earning laughs from the class and wanting to slap myself right after I said it. Mrs. Robison tried her best not to roll her eyes.

"Just pay attention, girls." I nodded and Alison smirked my way, making me finally feel uncomfortable. When she turned around again, I buried my head in my arms, feeling completely embarrassed.

What had I just done?

IIIIIIIIIIIII

As soon as the class finished, I got out of there as fast as I could, running to my next class, just to find out the new girl Alison was in almost every class I had, which made me more awkward that I usually was. However, I didn't want the new girl to feel like she had done something to bother me, so whenever she'd look my way I'd smile to her. Anyone would have thought I was flirting with her, thing that couldn't be further from the truth. I mean, she was –and still is– very pretty, but I just couldn't look any other girl like _that _again. I had convinced myself that the whole situation with Mitchie was going to be a onetime situation and I was not going to go through it all again. I didn't need the drama that relationship had brought me, which was probably the reason I had decided to start to think about boys again.

"So, Russo." Someone said near me, making me jump and look to my right, past my locker's opened door. Alison was lying against the lockers, folding her arms across her chest and smirking. "I've got the word that you're a rebel and I should stay away from you."

The spark in her green eyes caught my attention, as I raised an eyebrow. "Not so much anymore, but I guess my teachers didn't get the memo if they still think that."

She chuckled. "I guess."

"But I'm just Alex now, by the way." I said, looking back to my locker and taking out of it a few books. "Russo is just too badass for me lately." I closed the door once I placed the books in my backpack and the back pack in its place, in my back. I looked back to her. "How's the first day going?"

"Boring, mostly, so I'd say it's going good."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"The only problem, though, is that I haven't talked to everyone else more than to ask a few questions and I really could use some help to catch up with everything." She looked at me with the exact same innocent look she gave Mrs. Robinson earlier today. "Is there any possibility for Miss Rebel Russo to help me?" I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

"I can bet you that thing you are asking for isn't a good idea, although I could get someone to help you, how do you like that?" She pouted and dear lord was that adorable. "But if you'd like to have the dumbest girl on earth to help you, I can't do anything other than accept, can I?" She smiled widely.

"Thank you, Russo." Alison said, looking for something in her leather jacket and taking out her cell phone. "Can I have your number?"

"Are you hitting on me or…?" She laughed, handing me her phone.

"Dork." I rolled my eyes, smirking as I wrote my number in her phone and as weird as it sounds, that was the moment I knew I had a new best friend.

Her name was Alison Anderson and we became really close right after we met. Alison was the kind of girl that could make you feel really comfortable yet totally awkward at the same time when she was around. She just was being what I need: A good thing to distract myself with. However, this girl was something. She knew right away something was up with me, just a few days after we met, and made me spill the beans to her about everything that had happened to me, becoming a great support for me –and probably the best at that moment, since Nate didn't know how to deal with me anymore at the time– and being the only one who could make me smile during that time. I even would dare to say Alison and I had a connection just as special as the relationship I had with Mitchie was, just not taking to the extreme that one was taken. Alison was just the kind of best friend I needed in that moment and I was really grateful she had showed up in my life like that.

"Are you done?" I looked up to the counter of my family's sub shop, where Alison was leaning in, looking at me as I cleaned the floor one day, taking me out of my thoughts, as everyone would always do.

"Just give me a minute, dear lord."

"C'mon, Russo, move your ass, I want to watch that movie!"

"Well, aren't you bossy, Anderson?"

"Just shut up and finish."

I stood up, taking all the cleaning utensils with one hand and holding the red gloves I had just taken off with the other. "I am surprised of how rude you are, you know. I still wonder why I talked to you in the first place!"

"Because I'm hotter than you ex, now move!" I rolled my eyes, shaking my head in disapproval while I smirked, walking to the back of the shop to leave the utensils where they were supposed to be. When I got back to where Alison was, I saw her still sitting on the counter, constantly hitting it with two fingers.

"Ready to go, Anderson?"

"Oh, finally!" She exclaimed, looking back at me with a smile and jumping from the counter, just as the front door of the sub shop was opened, Justin, Zeke, Harper and Juliet coming to our views. She didn't know who they were, so she didn't pay attention to them. However, they did notice us. Justin and Zeke let it go and sat on a table, but Harper and Juliet looked to each other and then to us with questioning looks in their faces, the latter not looking very pleased. "Let's go, Russo."

"Alright…"

"Hi Alex!" Juliet exclaimed, smiling and waving to me, as she walked to us. I waved back. "Where have you been lately, girl? It's been a while since I last saw you!"

"Um, well you know me, just busy." I replied, nervously, as Alison looked to me with a raised brow. "Um, Juliet, this is my friend, Alison." I looked back to green eyed girl. "And Alison, she's Juliet, my sister in law."

"Oh, yes! Nice to meet you!" Alison exclaimed, with a bright smile and shaking Juliet's hand. "Alex has told me lovely things about you!"

"Really? Well, that's very nice of you, Lex!" I smiled, keeping my eyes on the redhead sitting next to her boyfriend. She looked back to me and when our eyes met, I knew I was in trouble. She stood up and walked to us, standing right in front of Alison and looking at from head to toe. I swallowed.

"And I am Harper, her _best friend._" She said, with unnecessary rudeness and remarking the words _best friend _a lot.

"Harper? _the _Harper? I have heard a lot about you, too." Alison responded, not being nice either. I mean, it probably was because of how Harper had talked to her, but I was not sure. She wasn't happy when I told her the story of how Harper and I had drifted. The green eyed girl looked back at me, smiling. "We are going to be late."

"Oh, that's a shame, girls! But come, Alison, let me introduce you to the boys!" The blonde girl took my friend by the arm and walked her to the table the guys were sitting in, leaving me with a not happy looking redhead girl.

"Alex."

"Harper."

"You have been avoiding me even more than before and I really think we need to talk." Straight forward, that's my girl.

I sighed. "I agree, we need to, but Harp, I don't think this is a–"

"No time is ever good for you." Oh, she was mad. "And look, I let slip when you started ignoring me because of that girl from California because I knew you felt alone because I was spending too much time with Zeke and I even let slip Nate just for the sake of younger years but this new girl? I'm not letting that slip."

"Harper, I think you are over–"

"I am not overreacting, Alex. You are replacing me and I really am not okay with that." She looked and sounded hurt. "So whenever you are ready to talk, just call me." Before say something else she walked away, abruptly taking the chair she was going to sit in, making the two girls and two boys near her jump. Juliet asked her if she was okay rapidly, while Alison looked back to me at the exact same moment, questioning me with her green eyes. I just signed the door with my head and started walking towards it. The green eyed girl followed me, trying to distract me once we got in our way to the movie theater by telling random stuff, but gave up after a while since I didn't seem to be responding. She just walked next to me, waiting for me to say something or at least, react.

I bet she knew that from all things I had expected to happen, this wasn't one. But what could I say if, after all, Harper had all reasons to be upset with me? If I thought about it, I had started ditching her, when she'd make the effort to find a little time to hang out with me, back in the summer break, because Mitchie and I were trying to spend as much time together as possible before she left. Then, when school started, I stopped hanging out with her –she'd do her homework while I worked at the sub shop and then we'd go upstairs to my house to do whatever we could do, together, just like I was doing with Alison– because right after work I'd go to my room and lock myself there so I could talk to Mitchie. Then, when I broke up with the Californian girl, I got myself in such a deep depression state that I would ignore everyone, Harper included, making it hard for her to help me because she didn't know what was going on with me anymore and so on. Drifting apart from Harper was my fault just as much as it was Harper's, but maybe even more mine, because Harper at least had tried and I had just gone into a comfort zone to not confront what my best friend would say about me for not being what she thought I was. I mean, I dated a girl, for god's sakes. Thinking that alone made me feel uncomfortable with myself, not because I had a problem with it –love is love and you cannot help on that–but because I knew it wasn't what people were expecting from me. No, not people. It wasn't what _my loved ones _were expecting from me. And I was shitless scared, because I didn't want them to think differently of me. Even if I liked girls or it was just Mitchie who had something so special I couldn't help myself but to go for it –because I must have to be honest, I was not sure on that one. –, I was still me and therefore nobody should have any reasons to think differently of me. However, I knew it was going to happen and I had categorized Harper into it before realizing my doubts on her that leaded to me not trusting her, were hurting her.

"Lex, are you okay?" I heard Alison whisper to me, as she carelessly ate popcorn, when we were at the movie theater. I looked to her, nodding. "You haven't paid attention to the movie at all." I sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry for making you waste your money on this." She gave me a sweet smile.

"Oh, don't worry about that, Lex. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"It really isn't anything, Al, I'm okay."

"Is it about what happened with that Harper chick?" Thank god there were only a few people watching the movie we were watching, because I bet someone would have told us to shut up by now.

"I mean, yeah, but it's not a big deal." I sighed, because even I didn't believe that. "I don't know what's going on with me, to be honest."

"What do you mean?"

"I–I wonder what did Mitchie have for me to ditch everything and everyone just for her." She continued to eat popcorn, watching me instead of the screen. "Like– I know why everything with Harper is as it is. I know why Nate can't handle the situation anymore. I know why Tess doesn't want to talk to me. I know everything I have done wrong, yet I'm not doing anything to fix it. And I–I don't know why. "

"Oh, Lex." Alison said, putting her popcorn in the sit to her left and putting her arms around me, awkwardly hugging me because of the armrest between us. "Don't be so hard on yourself, alright? We all go through situations like this." She pulled away. "You an Harper did the same thing, you know? She was with her boyfriend and you were with your girlfriend. I bet if Harper had gone through the same thing you did, she'd do the same thing you did. Nate is a man and we can't expect much from men when this kind of situations happens, however, I know he is going to be there just to comfort you if you call him. " I smiled, because that was true. "As for Tess, you know why she's doing it and it has nothing to do with you, it's all Mitchie's fault." She went for it and hugged me again, making me smile a little bit more. "And now that we talk about her, remember it was her loss, not yours. She didn't know what she had and when she realizes, it'll be too late." Alison gave me an unexpected kiss on the cheek and pulled away once again, taking her popcorn and looking at the screen again. "You can fix everything that's going on right now and if you give her time, you might as well get Tess' friendship back, while Mitchie won't get her best friend back nor won't she get the hot New Yorker either. You will get your best friends and eventually, you will fall in love. Then, everything will be right, again."

"Well, I am surprised of how wise you can get to be sometimes, Anderson."

Alison laughed. "I have my moments, Russo." She turned to me again. "And I believe you will have to talk to Harper. I do not want to go through the awkwardness I went through today again."

I chuckled, looking at the screen just at the exact moment the main couple kissed in the rain, extending my hand to my left and taking popcorn from her. "I will do it, soon."

"Good."

IIIIII

"Oh my god, Alex. Why didn't you tell me? I am SO going to kill that girl. I knew she was trouble. I just knew it!"

Harper was walking in circles in my room. After Alison and I talked, I walked her home and went back to mine, finding that Justin, Juliet, Zeke and Harper still were at the sub shop. I collected all the courage in me and walked to them, asking Harper if we could talk in my room. She looked surprised at first, probably not expecting me to react that fast, but she agreed and went with me. Once I closed the door, I started crying, expressing between sobs every single thing that had happened ever since she started dating Zeke, asking for her forgiveness and just letting all my emotions be free for once. Of course she didn't expect that. She hugged me, letting me cry on her chest and listened to what I was saying, trying her best to understand what I was saying, stroking my hair and telling me everything was going to be okay. When I calmed down, she stood up and looked out of the window, giving me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. However, she was only processing all the information and when she did so, she started repeating how much she was going to kill Mitchie once she saw her again.

"I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Of what you were going to think about me for, well, you know, dating a girl…"

"Oh dear lord." Harper sat next to me, placing her hand on my knee as she would always do when she was about to ask me something. "Alexandra Russo. I have known you all my life. You are part of my first memories and most of my best memories have happened with you. I love you and I have loved you since day one."

"I know, but–"

"Alex, shut up, I am talking."

"Okay."

"You are the sister I never had, Alex, and it will always be that way, no matter what. I'm not going to lie to you, though, I really am upset you went to Nate and the new girl first than me with this, but I can't hold anything against you. " She smiled sadly. "I haven't been around that much either, have I?"

"Still, I don't think you–"

"Alex."

"Okay, I'll shut up now."

"Thank you." The redhead looked down to her lap. "Nothing that has happened changes the fact that you Alex, my Alex, my best friend Alex. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy and if you like girls, that's fine for me." She looked back to me, smiling. "It actually gives me more opportunity to break the face of whoever hurts you." I giggled. "So you don't have anything to worry about, alright?"

I hugged her, tightly, relieved. "You don't have idea of how much this means to me, Harp. Thank you so, so much. I love you."

"I love you too, Lex."

"However, I need to ask you for something." I said, pulling away from Harper and looking at my hand for a moment. That was the hardest part of it all.

"Ask away."

"Can we keep this between us? Like, I know Nate and Alison know, but I really don't want anyone else to be involved, especially not my family." I wasn't looking at her, but I could bet she had a confused expression on her face. "You know how my family is. If word of this got out, they would kick me out of the house right away and not because they wouldn't accept it, but because my grandparents wouldn't let it happen. Plus, I am trying to put this behind me and I can bet to you I am done with girls." I bitterly smiled. "There's just too much drama involved I just don't want to go through it again."

"There's always drama in relationships, though, Alex."

"Yeah, I know, but like– normally, is us, the girls, who bring the drama into a relationship and having two girls together can be disastrous."

"Alright, we'll have it your way, but if you want my honest opinion, Alex, I don't think your family would be that harsh on you, they would understand, they always try to."

I sighed. "Maybe they would, but I don't want to take any risk. It's better this way, trust me."

Harper nodded, looking at me with a thoughtful expression on her face. Then, a smirk creeped on on her face. "So, how is it like to kiss a girl?"

"Oh my god, Harper!"

"What?! I want to know if Katy Perry's song really is true!"

"Dear lord, I cannot believe you right now!"

And that was when I knew, that even though I had lost one of the most important people in my life –Mitchie, who had been my best friend in so many different ways–, I still got one that was going to be with me, through it all and for the first time in months, I felt fine.

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**I suck, I know. But anyway, let me know what you guys think with a review! :D Have a nice week!**


	7. Out of Mistakes

**Alright so hi! I am so sorry for updating this on a Wednesday when I said I was going to update on Sunday, but my computer died and I was freaking out, because I had everything there. Luckily, I could rescue my documents and pictures. However, I don't have a computer now and I am only updating because my mom was kind enough to let me borrow hers, so I might take a while to update next, I am sorry for that. I promise I will try to make it up for it. Now, this chapter is on Mitchie's POV and it's going to be… harsh, to say something. So you have been warned. I must admit, this was supposed to go in a completely different light, but I couldn't help myself but do it this way. It gives more sense to what happens next. I hope you don't hate me, though.**

**Anyway, onto the chapter and thank you so so much for the great response The Rhythm of Love got, just as the reviews, alerts and favorites this one is still getting. I will try my best to update soon, but I make no promises since it is out of my hand. Believe me; I was very sad when my computer died. I'll keep you updated on how this computer business goes on my twitter, HeyThereDelena, so follow me there if you'd like. **

**Okay, enough of me, Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this story and Alison Anderson at the moment. The credit of the characters' names and songs used to tell this story goes to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight.**

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**Chapter VII: Out of Mistakes.**

Mitchie's POV

"_You sound really tired, sweet pea." I smiled as her voice rang in my ears, closing my eyes and enjoying the sound of it. We had like two hours talking but I still couldn't care less of how upset my mom was going to be when the phone bill came after so many calls to New York. I just loved to hear her voice. _

"_I'm fine, don't worry. What about you, though? Isn't like really late in New York?" She chuckled. _

"_It is, but I'm okay. I am not going to school tomorrow anyway."_

"_Why?"_

"_I'll be going to Louisiana to visit some relatives. You know, my dad thinks we have been spending way too much time with my mom's family and not his." I sighed. _

"_Why can't you come to California, instead? I'd be the happiest girl on the world."_

"_Oh, how I wish I could, love, but you know my mom isn't a fan of visiting her cousins." _

_I sighed, again. "I know. Does that mean we won't be talking tomorrow night?" I couldn't believe how sad knowing that made me. I bet she could hear it in my voice when I asked her. _

"_Probably not, but I'll try my best. We can always chat, though." I shifted in my bed, looking out of the window. "I will have my computer with me."_

"_It's going to suck a lot, anyway." I yawned. "I'll miss hearing your voice."_

"_It's only going to be for like three days, beautiful." She said and I could bet all I had that she was smiling. "And I think you should go to bed because you really do sound very tired. I can bet it has been like the fifth time I hear you yawn."_

_I giggled. "I refuse to go to bed now that I know you won't be here to talk to me for the next three days."_

"_Awh, babe, we will still talk!"_

"_But chatting sucks."_

"_We'll figure it out, love, I promise." I sighed, in content. Yes, we were going to figure it out. Knowing that always made me happy. "In other news, I made something for you."_

"_What is it?"_

"_A drawing. I don't want to spoil or anything, but it's pretty awesome. I almost sure you will like it."_

_I sleepy smiled showed up in my face, eyes still closed. "That's so sweet of you."_

_I heard her laugh. "Mitchie, you are falling asleep. You aren't even realizing of what I'm telling you!"_

"_That's not true."_

"_Mitchie, what day is today?"_

"_Popcorn."_

"_Jesus Christ!" I loved her laugh. I would give up music forever just to hear her laugh, that was the effect she had on me. I just loved her so much. "Go to bed, Mitch, it's alright. Maybe I can make it and call you or Skype with you tomorrow night."_

"_Alright." I yawned again, cursing myself mentally when it happened. Her laugh was heard again, probably noticing. "Okay, I'll go to bed but only with one condition."_

"_I'm all ears, Mitch."_

"_Sing me to sleep." I heard something being dropped on the other line, just as Alex cursed. "What was that?"_

"_Nothing… I just, um–" There was a lot of movement in the other line, with Alex's voice starting to sound a bit distant. "Do you really want to go through the pain of listening to me singing?"_

"_Oh c'mon, Alex, you have a pretty voice."_

"_Nothing will ever compare to your voice, though."_

"_Oh shut up and do it, Lex." I said, smiling widely and blushing, because still to this day, any compliment coming from Alex had that effect on me. "Please?"_

_Alex stopped moving and I heard her sigh. "Alrighty, then, we'll do what my princess wants. Are you in bed already?"_

"_Mhm."_

"_Okay then, what should I sing to you?"_

"_Justin Bieber."_

"_Oh my god, Michelle, how sleepy are you?" I giggled. "Oh, I have an idea!" She suddenly exclaimed. A few moments later, she I heard her clear her throat. "Are you ready?"_

"_I was born ready."_

"_Okay, then. If I'm not mistaken, it goes something like this." She cleared her throat again and soon enough, my ears were enchanted by the melodic sound of her voice. "Hello beautiful, how's it going? I heard it's wonderful in California, I've been missing you; it's true."_

"_Oh my god, you are singing Jonas Brothers to me, this is the best day of my life."_

"_Mitchie, shut up, I'm trying to sing!" I giggled again. "But tonight, I'm gonna fly, yeah, tonight, I'm gonna fly, 'cause I can come across the world and see everything and never be satisfied, if I couldn't see those eyes." I closed my eyes again, concentrating in the sound of her voice. "Hello beautiful, it's been a long time since my phone's rung and you were on the line, I've been missing you; it's true." _

_Soon enough her voice started sounding less and less, until I couldn't fight it anymore and I was lost in a deep slumber, with a little smile adorning my face. _

IIIIIII

I opened my eyes, staring at the painfully blank ceiling as the thoughts of that night went through my mind, breaking my heart with each moment of it.

It had been two months since I last knew anything about her, yet she had been present in everything I did every single day. I couldn't stop thinking about her smile, her hair, her eyes, her nose, her face, her everything. Just by closing my eyes, I could picture her in such a perfect way that it was just painful, knowing she wasn't mine anymore and the chances for her to be mine again were close to none.

I was the stupidest girl in the world; that I knew very well. I should have never cheated on her; I should have given all my energy to make my relationship with her work but the pressure I was in could more than my feelings for her and there wasn't anything I would regret more. That didn't stop me from going back to the guy that caused this entire problem, again, though. I didn't have any explanation for it. I was upset with Alex, upset with Tess, upset with everything. I wanted to make them both mad, to feel the pain I was feeling by what Alex was doing to me. Little did I know, the one who'd end up hurt the most was going to be me.

I would see Tess every day, hanging out with her two friends I didn't the name of, walking around the school and looking happier than ever. She didn't even look at me anymore. However, whenever I was around, she wouldn't lose the opportunity to talk about Alex and how much they talked, which made my insides burn in a sea of jealousy, knowing that could have been me if I wouldn't have been so stupid since the beginning. I didn't know anything about Alex. Ever since she called it quits, she had deleted me from Facebook, keeping her profile as private as she could, only showing up her picture and name. I had no access to her life anymore while Tess, who met her through me, had all the access in the world. I couldn't help but feel completely mad. I sighed, getting up from my bed and walking to my desk, were my song book, different colored pens, pencils and ripped notebook sheets of paper were lying around, most of them with tears stains, just as the constant mention of the big old city and a wonderfully enchanting smile. I picked a few of them up, looking at them with an overwhelming sadness, because everything was Alex for me now and the pain of being constantly reminded that I had lost her was starting to be unbearable. I loved her, I missed her and I hated her. All at once and all the weight of those feelings were heavy on my shoulders. I sighed again. The worst thing was that I could have saved it. I had all the chances to tell her the whole truth and I just didn't, because I knew she wouldn't have believed me. Tess had gotten way too into her mind and all I had left was to try out and save what we had, thing that resulted completely impossible only because Alex wanted it that way.

Nevertheless, what really happened that day in the park, even when it wasn't _entirely _my fault, was still haunting me, even when it was a big blur to me for how fast it happened. I was missing her that day even more than usual and the feeling was too much for me to handle. I probably broke down crying because of that at least five times, making my friends feel completely helpless, because even when they knew about who was the Alex girl I talked so much about, they didn't quite understand my feelings. So, in their attempt to make me forget everything, they made me go out with them, promising they would make me forget everything for a while. To be honest, I actually was having a good time and all but when they decided to take a walk by the park, I had a feeling inside that something was not going to end up right and I needed to leave right away. I decided to ignore it, convincing myself that nothing could be worse than being away from Alex.

Oh, I was so wrong.

My friends and I ran into Joe, my ex-boyfriend, and his group of friends, being jerks to everyone as usual. Since my friends and his still were somehow close, mine decided to go where they were and say hi, all of them setting up their flirty ways on them as soon as we walked to them. Of course, Joe had gotten all the attention, making even Tess fall for his charm once again. However, I was just annoyed by having to be around him –I really just didn't like him at all– and sadly enough, he noticed, being his big ego the only reason why he asked our friends to leave us alone for a moment to talk to me. I should have left, shouldn't I? I still don't know why I didn't.

"We should try again, you know." Were the only words I listened, because I denied his request right away, because he was very well aware I was not into him anymore. He had made a few scenes about it before, actually. But Joe doesn't take a 'no' for an answer, of course. He insisted, saying "Come on, Mitchie, you won't get anyone like me anywhere else."

"I really don't think I want anyone like you anymore, anyway, so don't lose your sleep on that." I responded, turning around and giving the first step to walk away from him when he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me to him, holding me so tight and with so much strength it would've been useless for me to try to let go. I did try to make him let go of me, though. "Joe, stop this."

"Not before this." And before I could register what was happening, his lips had crashed into mine and the taste of him kissing me never was as awful as that day. I was so in shock that I didn't do anything, I didn't feel anything. I found myself in a position where I couldn't move or react, staying still in his arms as he kissed. He probably made it look like I kissed him back. When he pulled away, he said something like "I bet you missed that" with a smirk in his face. I was so angry in that moment, when it finally hit me what had happened, that I couldn't do anything but to slap him, hard, but of course Tess didn't see that. When I noticed, my blonde best friend was nowhere to be seen.

After Joe yelled and left go of me, I ran to my house, tears streaming down my faces and feeling worse than I had ever felt in my life. I knew what it meant from the moment it hit me and I knew how much I wouldn't be able to talk to Alex without breaking down. She was going to be so hurt and I didn't want that, at all. It didn't keep me from going back to him, though, but it still made me feel completely _horrible. _Maybe that was why I kept from her that Joe had contacted me again, during the winter break when Alex gave me a second chance. She knew about him then and she wouldn't have liked it at all, mostly because he was trying to make me go out with him again and I had accepted seeing him when I got back to California, just to tell him straight that I didn't want anything with him anymore. Maybe I should have told her, but she didn't even give me a chance to _really _try to fix our relationship before she broke up with me without giving me any other reason than that freaking letter.

I remembered each word very clearly.

_Mitchie, _

_I really am sorry for making you waste your time with me. I truly wanted this to work, but we've come to a point where I can't handle it. I wish you can forgive me, but I just can't do this anymore. I wish you the best and know that you still hold a special place in my heart, there's too much to lose and I don't anything else left. _

_I'm sorry, _

_Alex. _

I died a little inside every time I remembered it, because, despite of everything I did wrong, I really believed I deserved more than that. I deserved an explanation. Maybe I had gotten that, I wouldn't have made idiotic decision of going back to Joe. I would've fought, I would've giving my best to make her trust in me again, instead of having to hang out with Joe every day and pretend I am into his rough kisses. I would've spent my nights talking to Alex, winning her heart again, instead of crying myself to sleep because I didn't have her.

I rubbed my eyes, tired, and then moved the papers in my desk, organizing them into a pile to my left. Then, I took my laptop and turned it on, swiftly going to Facebook as soon as it started. Even though nothing would change, I still checked Alex's profile every day, hoping to see that'd finally be the day she´d accept me as her friend on Facebook again. I knew it was ridiculous, but it was the best I could get in my situation. That day, everything looked about the same in that social network. My female friends talking about jerks that had made a bad move on them and my male friends talking about the awesome party they had just gotten from. Sometimes I wondered why they even were my friends. I shook my head and moved the mouse to the searching bar, typing "Alex" into it, which showed a window below with the name of "Alex Russo" at the top of it, saying we had a friend in common –even though she really hated me now, Tess still didn't delete me from Facebook –and showing up her picture. I clicked right away, being redirected to her profile, where, as always, only her picture in a bigger size and her name at the top it were shown. Like I said, it all looked about the same, except for the fact that she had changed her profile picture.

There's where the entire problem started.

Her pictured used to be one of her lovely face, smiling shyly, while wearing her glasses. She had kept that picture for so long and I was so used to see it that it was only natural for me to be taken by surprise when I saw the new one, where she looked really beautiful, like in every picture. She was wearing her beloved Ray Bans, with the New York sun hitting on her face as she made a dorky face, having her arm around the shoulder of a girl I had never seen before, who was laughing and looking at Alex with a big smile on her face, wearing a pair of silver aviator shades.

Of course jealousy took over me when I saw that picture.

Who was that girl and why was she so important to be part of Alex's profile pictures album? Alex didn't like to have friends on her profile picture, because she didn't want to be confused with anyone else, and only a few people had ever made it to it. Me, Harper and now this girl. I was upset, to be honest. I looked everywhere in her profile, looking for something that could give me a clue of who this girl was, but I really couldn't find more than her profile picture.

There was the message of why I couldn't see her complete profile, the 'add as a friend', 'poke' and 'the see more information' buttons. I normally never clicked the last one, because it would only give useless publications done by Alex in someone else's wall. But that time, I clicked it, because I was in desperate need of information.

"_wifey!" Posted on __Alison Anderson's __wall. _

"The fuck is going on?" I said to myself, losing no time to click on this Alison girl's profile.

"_Mitchie, dinner is ready!" _I heard my mom yell from downstairs.

"Coming!" I yelled back, not taking my eyes off the screen once.

The Alison girl didn't have her profile private, so I thankfully was able to see her wall, which was full of publications done by the one and only Alex Russo. Most of them said how much Alex missed her, wanted her to come back and how much she loved her. My heart broke right away. Was Alex dating that girl? I didn't know, but I would have sworn she was. Even Nate, who was never one to participate in Alex´s business –or so had Alex told me –had published on Alison's wall. "_Can you come home already, Al? I don't think Harper and I will be able to handle Alex's talks of how much she misses you anymore!" _said his publication, which she responded with a happy face and a "_Hold on a little more and I'll be back to my wifey and you guys won't have to deal with it anymore!_"

I wanted to break her face.

And to be honest, my insecurities never felt worse than they did that day, because the Alison girl was completely gorgeous. She had gorgeous features, being her big green eyes the most noticeable of them, as much as her perfect shy smile and wavy dark brown hair. I was jealous and I really needed to know more about it.

I needed to know who that girl was.

IIIIIIII

The question didn't leave my mind at any moment for the following days. The power of the Social Networks. I ignored Joe for days, trying to figure out what was going on, spending hours and hours going through Alison's profile trying to find something that could tell me what was going on between her and Alex, but nothing ever seemed to be clear but that was pretty much because Alex was never clear about her feelings. A proof of that was that, no matter how many times I told her I did, she never said she loved me once. Like, sometimes it looked like she was about to say it, to make me the happiest girl in the world, but she'd decide to bite her tongue and not say it. I always noticed and it always broke my heart. I wanted to know she loved me as much as I loved her and it still was a big mystery to me. So, with Alison, for what I could see, was pretty much the same, just for the difference she didn't lose any opportunity to tell the green eyed girl how much she loved her and the uncountable amount of inside jokes they had, by the conversations between them I could read. Naturally, I still was madly jealous, but I didn't exactly have anyone to talk about this, not anymore.

I am guessing that was when Tess came to my mind, when I realized I didn't have anyone to talk to anymore. My friends, the ones that had pressured me into having a relationship with Joe more than once now were nowhere to be seen, even though I was dating the boy again. I guess they could see the relationship was going downhill and was not going to last, keeping themselves away from me to don't be involved if it did fall apart. My real friends, the ones that knew about Alex, didn't like my attitude either –they actually were on Tess' sides this time, which never happened –so they barely talked to me, putting aside the fact that they were just TIRED of my constant ranting over the middle Russo. I didn't know what to do and I was so frustrated I was surprised I didn't break down at some point. However, when Tess came to my mind, I realized I had one last opportunity to find out what was going on. So I went to talk to Tess, one day during the free period we shared. She was sitting in the cafeteria, reading a book, alone. When I saw her, I almost walked away without even trying, because I didn't want to go through another fight with her. Nonetheless, I decided Alex was more important so I went for it. I stood in front of her, making her look up and roll her eyes when she saw it was me who was blocking her view.

"Hi, Tess." I said, politely.

"Go away, Mitchie." She responded, turning her back to me and going back to her reading. I sighed, walking to her front again.

"I need to ask you something important."

"Oh, so you only talk to me because you need something? Nice, Mitchie, very nice." Tess responded, sarcastically, rolling her eyes again. "I really don't want to deal with your bullshit, so please, go away."

"Tess, please." I said, sitting next to her and putting my hand over her book, making her look up again. "It's important."

Tess sighed. Even mad, she didn't ever say no to me. "It has to do with Alex, doesn't it?"

"How do you know?"

"I don't know, you only look this worried whenever something with Alex happens, but since I believe you still aren´t in speaking terms, I believe you want to know about her, don´t you?" my mouth hung open a little, surprised. Tess smirked. "You are way too predictable, Michelle."

"Yeah, well. Maybe it is because you have been my best friend since we were very young." I pointed out, giving her a sad smile. Her smirk disappeared right away.

"Was. I was your best friend." She said, harshly. "I'm not anymore." The tone of her voice really hurt me a lot, making me let out a breath.

"Alright, then I'll just go ahead with what I was going to ask you and leave."

"Please."

"Do you know who is Alison Anderson?" the smile on Tess' face couldn't have been good news.

"Oh, so you've got word of Alex´s latest girl, huh?" of course they weren't good news.

"Wh–what?" my voice shook a little.

"They both are in denial, but everybody believes they're into each other, even Harper and Nate. It's just a matter of time for them to realize they're perfect for each other."

"What on earth are you even talking about, Tess Tyler?!" I exclaimed, upset, not wanting to believe what I was hearing.

"What you heard, Michelle Torres. Alison Anderson is Alex's newest best friend and they make a cute couple. Harper and Nate have asked Alex a few times if she likes her but she goes insane whenever that question comes into any conversation and avoids it as much as she can. Alison doesn't even make an effort to deny it but she doesn't accept it either. " Tess shrugged and went back to her book. "They're all just waiting for it to be official, since they are 'married' already. Inside joke, though."

"I am not believing any word you say, oh my god." I said in a whisper, more to myself than to her. "Alex wouldn't."

"Well, that will be your problem then, Mitchie." Tess looked up at me with her blue eyes and smirked again. "You didn't think Alex was going to wait around forever after all you've done, did you? She broke up with you for a reason, dear." Ouch. She really wasn't my best friend anymore, was she?

"Why are you even saying that to me? You're lying."

"You asked first, Mitchie." The blonde girl shrugged again. "Don't believe me if you want, I really don't care."

I sat there in silence, next to her, in shock of what I had just heard. Alex had always said I was going to be the only exception. That she didn't like girls, she just liked me. Who was in denial then, me or her? It didn't make sense. Alex had a lot to lose by dating girls, that I knew. Her family was very religious and they would kick her out right away if they ever found out about our relationship. We both were very aware of it, which was why we kept it as secretly as we could. This just couldn't be truth, she wouldn't go through it again and not in such a short time, would she?

Tess probably felt uncomfortable having me there, sitting next to her, because she abruptly closed her book and stood up, holding in it with her arm and looking at me. "Oh, Mitchie, if I was you I wouldn't even lose sleep on it anymore. I mean Alex's happiness before anything else, even if it is with somebody else that is going to treat her way better, right?" She gave me a fake smile and walked away, leaving me even more confused than before.

Did she really hate me that much?

After that, I don't think I was aware of anything I did that day. When school finished, I went straight into Joe's arms and made out with him, right there in the parking lot, just because I was too upset to function and I had proven this was the way I'd release it, mostly when Tess was involved. As you guess, he loved it and drove us to his house, where the make out session continued, until we ended up in his bedroom and our clothes nowhere to be seen. I was giving myself to him and I didn't even care about it. I only could think about Alex, about what Tess had said, about Alison. With each kiss he would give me, I'd think of Alex and all the love I had for her. I thought about the second chance Alex gave me and how much I didn't deserve it. I cheated on her and I was aware of what I was doing. Pressure or not, even when the first kiss wasn't my fault, the rest was and I should´ve taken responsibility of it, instead of blaming it all on my friends. With each time he'd touch me, I'd think about Alex and Tess´ friendship, wondering how they were managing to keep it even when Tess had a crush on her and Alex knew, feeling completely jealous at the idea of it. That was when I would respond to Joe's harsh and hurtful touch. With each time he expected me to scream his name and I did it just for the sake of not having any trouble, I thought about Alison and how'd she'd get to do with Alex everything I never got the chance to and was going to love her in ways I was never going to be able to love her, silently crying. Finally, when Joe finished and was satisfied enough, he got a pair of boxers and went downstairs for something to drink, leaving me in his room, between his sheets, crying and knowing I had done a big mistake, because not even this was going to be worse than giving up on Alex and cheating on her, but with the biggest conviction of something I had to do. This was going to be the last mistake. I needed to try, I needed to stop acting like an idiot, stop acting like someone mature.

I needed to go back to New York. I needed Alex back. I needed everything I had lost.

And I have never felt worse.

* * *

**I mean, I am not a fan of it but let me know what you think with a review. Like I said, I hope you don't hate me. Also, if you want an idea of how does Alison look in my mind, think/look for Melissa Benoist. Girl is gorgeous. Have a nice week and hopefully I'll see you soon!**


	8. Reality

**GUYS GUESS WHAT. When I say I am going to update soon, I take a long time and when I say it might take me a while, I do it fast. Who understands me, right? The thing is that my parents were very kind and got me a new computer. So, as celebration, I went into a Delena spam on twitter – HeyThereDelena if you are interested, these spams seem to be happening every week– and wrote as much as I could. So, as a result of that, there is this chapter. Now, I know this is kind of messy and not well structured, but this is how it happened, messy and not well structured. Also, I thought about it this week and I might be writing a second and final part to Mitchie's Dreams this Thursday to Sunday because I have no school –woooo– so if you want to read it, keep tuned. **

**Anyway, onto the story. Thank you for the reviews, alerts and favorites, I truly appreciate it.**

******Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this story, a few random characters and Alison Anderson at the moment. The credit of the characters' names and songs used to tell this story goes to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight.**

* * *

**CHAPTER VIII: Reality**

_**Alex's POV**_

You know things aren't going right when your ex-girlfriend's ex best friend calls you after they stopped talking to you because you were too much of a reminder of the friend that betrayed them, asking for help because they're worried about that friend. No, scratch that. You know things aren't going right when your ex-girlfriend's _mother _calls you, sounding completely desperate and making you feel like you're the last recourse she has.

Something was completely wrong.

I was with Alison the night both women called me. The green eyed girl and I had been spending a lot of time together and a lot of people were starting to question my relationship with her. I am not going to lie, I was finding the whole situation funny because when I was doing the same thing with Mitchie, nobody got a clue of what was happening, but now, with Alison, when _nothing _was really happening, everybody seemed to be worried. No one in my family really liked her because of that –they all were saying she was going to be a very bad influence in my life– but nor Alison nor I could care less about it. However, my friendship with Alison seemed to be provoking problems in other places or so said Tess. To be honest, when I got word of what had happened, I never wanted to hit the blonde as much as I did that day.

"Russo, California two is calling!" Alison yelled, when i got the call from the first woman, being that Tess. I walked from my kitchen to the living room, where Alison was watching TV and holding up my phone without taking her eyes away from the flat screen.

"Well, isn't this strange?" I whispered to myself, making the green eyed girl turn to look at me, giving me a questioning look. I smirked and clicked on the green button on the screen. "Tess?"

"_Oh my god, Alex. Thank god you answered!"_ The blonde exclaimed sounding somewhat relieved. _"I seriously need your help right now."_

"What's going on? You sound freaked out." I said, looking at my best friend flicking channels, finding adorable the expression she would do every time she stumbled upon a show she didn't like.

"_I did something very, very wrong." _She said as the tone of her voice rapidly turned to guiltiness. "And I really do need your help to fix it."

What would you think about if someone said that to you? One million scenarios came to my mind, each one having a worse result than the one before. I could feel the anxiety building up in my chest, not even knowing what was happening. "Tess, what did you do?" Mitchie's ex best friend sighed in the other line and I pictured her biting her lip in my mind, as a sign of how nervous she was.

"_I kind of made Mitchie believe you were dating your friend Alison..." _the shock in my face pretty much was indescribable as all the mixed emotions came to me. I mean, Mitchie wasn't anything of mine anymore, so I shouldn't care less about what she thought was happening in my life. However, this situation wasn't good, I knew it as soon as those words left Tess' mouth and they were registered in my brain.

"You did what?!" I exclaimed, loudly, making Alison jump in her sit, turning her face to me with a confused look. I decided not to look her. "Oh my god, Tess, why did you even do that?!"

"_I don't know, okay? I was just so mad at her and wanted her to feel what I am feeling by seeing her with Joe everyday!" _I closed my eyes, my heart feeling as if it was stabbed when I heard the guy's name. I sighed. _"But the outcome was completely fucked up and I truly didn't know she would do that!"_

"Do you care explaining what the hell are you talking about?"

"_I have a feeling you won't be happy to hear it, though."_

"If you really want me to help you, I need to know. Just tell me what's going on and get it over with, Tess."

She sighed. _"Alright, then. Mitchie slept with Joe." _I almost dropped the phone and my head felt dizzy. From all the things I expected to hear, that was the last one and to be honest, when I noticed what this meant, I didn't want to know anything else about it. I had no right, but I felt as betrayed as I did when I first saw that picture of Mitchie kissing the exact same guy. It always had to be Tess who'd tell me this stuff, never Mitchie. _"And she broke up with him a week after. He got so mad at her for it that he told everyone fake stories of that... night. Then, he got everyone against Mitchie, even her friends and she is just... lost it." _I was two steps from getting a heart attack.

"Tess fucking Tyler, what the _fuck _do you mean by lost it?" Alison looked very worried by then. She kept looking at me with questioning green eyes but I was too into my own little world to pay attention to her. I was worried about Mitchie.

"_She got so tired of Joe and his friends that she confronted him in front of the whole school. After they made their usual comments, she just went all 'I don't know why are you making it look like it was the greatest night of my life. I have gotten better nights with less than what you did that night and with a girl." _I completely and totally lost it. Mitchie did what? I was going insane. How...? Why did she even...? _"Once she said that, a face eating smile took over of her face and said 'So Joe, that's the reason I broke up with you. Sleeping with you only made me realize of one thing: I like girls. I am actually in love with one and you just made me realize of how much I would do for that girl. So thank you, Joe, you helped me to discover myself."_

"Oh my god." I mumbled, not believing what I was listening to.

"_I know, Lex, I know. The problem is that after that, she just kind of blocked everything. She doesn't talk to anyone anymore and she goes straight to her room once she gets home and doesn't get out of there until she needs to. Her parents are very worried and don't know what to do."_

I finally looked at Alison, connecting my eyes with hers. She knew right away this was serious. She moved closer to me and held my hand, giving me a smile of support as I asked the following question. "Do Mitchie's parents know?"

Tess took a while to answer, being her breathing the only thing that could tell me that she still was on the other line. _"Yes, they do." _My world fell apart right there. If Mitchie's parents knew, that meant my parents were going to know soon. And that would've been the end of all. _Oh god. "But they only know what happened in school, because they haven't talked to Mitchie at all. They took it really well, if you want to know, Lex, but I am pretty sure they don't know anything about what happened between you and her nor do I think Mitchie would tell them, so don't worry. "_

"That's good, that's good..." I whispered, not paying too much attention to the last part. I sighed, tightening my grip on Alison's hand. "I will help you, but what do you exactly want me to do?"

"_I want you to talk to Mitchie. I really don't know about what, but I think it'd be very helpful if you talked to her. She will listen to whatever you have to say to her, I can promise you that." _

"Oh god, Tess. This is such a huge mess." I whispered, covering my face with my free hand.

"_I know, I know. I am sorry it had to come to this, Lex, I really do. If I would have known what she was going to do, I promise you I wouldn't have said anything."_

"Just don't worry about it, okay? What it's done, it's done." I looked to Alison again, who had stayed quiet during my call, even turning off the TV as she looked at me with her intense green gaze. "I promise you I will call her later just let me... process everything. I will call you after I do it, okay?"

"_Thank you, Lex, thank you, really."_

"Talk to you later, Tess._" _I hung up the phone, throwing into the couch right after.

"You alright there, Russo?" Alison asked, making me smile a little when she called me Russo. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I closed my eyes and sighed again, resting my back to the couch. Then, I told her everything Tess told me. After that, I looked at her and said "I have to call Mitchie."

"You don't have to do it, though, Lex." Alison replied. I raised an eyebrow and she shrugged. "After everything she has done to you, the last thing you should do is help her. First, it's not fair for you and second, it will give her false hopes of your intentions if you keep running to her rescue whenever she's in trouble."

"But Alison, I just _can't _let her go through this alone. Do you realize this whole thing happened because she thinks I am dating you?"

"So? Even if that was the case, it's not your fault. You have all the right to move on." she said, sounding a bit upset. "At least, I just wish you would."

"Don't worry, Al, I wish I would too. But I haven't and I at least have to try. I won't be at peace with myself if I don't."

Alison sighed, running her fingers through her hair, as she left go of my hand. "Okay then, Lex." She was not happy with my decision, I could tell you that much, but to be honest, I didn't care. She was not going to understand the strong bond I still had with Mitchie and knowing this situation was affecting her so much to do the mistake of sleeping with that douchebag and then telling everyone the truth was unsettling to me. She wouldn't have done that in her five senses, I knew it very well. I knew _her _very well.

"Don't get mad at me, Al." I said, sitting closer to her and resting my head on her shoulder. "I would normally listen to you, but in this situation, I can't."

She sighed again, putting her head on mine. "I'm not mad I just think you just shouldn't." She held my hand again. "What you have managed to keep with her isn't healthy, you know? You two are just hurting each other over and over again. Both of you should let go and none of the two seems to be ready for it."

"I know, it's just that–"

"Your relationship with that girl is beyond my understanding, so don't explain it to me. I'll be just your support system. " She looked down to me. "Just don't get into it too much okay, Alex?" I nodded.

"Thank you, Al. I love you."

"I love you too, Al two." I giggled. "Anyway, let me get you distracted a little bit. I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Look, I–" that was the moment when my phone rang again. I pulled away from the green eyed girl and looked for the phone I previously threw in the couch. Once I found it, I looked at the unknown number, confused. However, I thought it could be Tess, hoping she would tell me everything was fixed and my intervention wasn't needed. I really didn't want to go through it. Alison rolled her eyes when I picked up the phone.

"Do you mind if I...?" I questioned, pointing at the ringing phone in my hand.

"Go ahead, I'll get something to drink while you're at it, okay? Remember we've got to be ready at 6 for dinner with Nate and Harper." I nodded and Alison stood up, walking away to the kitchen. Then I looked to my phone again and answered.

"Hello?"

"_Alex?" _My heart stopped when I heard the voice, because I knew it very well. I mean, she was part of my worst nightmares, that always consisted of her finding out about my relationship with Mitchie and telling my mom about it. Yes, it was the second woman that called me that day. It was Mitchie's mother.

"Mr–Mrs. Torres?" I said, swallowing the bump that formed in my throat, as the usual repeated '_oh my god'_ started running in my mind. Saying I was nervous was an understatement.

"_Yes, hi Alex. How are you?" _How did she even expected me to answer her question when I was freaking out?

"I–I am okay, what about you, Mrs. Torres?"

"_I would love to say I am good, but that would be lying. Everything is just... a mess." _Mrs. Torres sounded terrible, hopeless.I swallowed again, looking down at my unbuttoned black coat, focusing in a button and playing with it.

"Oh, that really is not good. Is there anything I can do to help you, Mrs. Torres?"

"_Thank you, Alex, and yes, that's exactly why I'm calling you." _Oh lord, oh lord, oh lord. "_Do you and Mitchie still talk? You looked very close back when we were in New York._" Just kill me already and let me be over it with.

"Um, to be honest, Mrs. Torres, barely. I–I hadn't talked to her in a while."

"_Oh, that's a shame. I suppose then you don't know what happened, do you?" _

"I am not sure..._"_

"_Mitchie is not in the best place right now. She made some... things." _She said, pausing and remarking the word 'things', sounding uncomfortable. _"And has been acting very weird ever since and I just don't know what to do. I have tried everything, but she doesn't want to talk to me or her father. I thought Tess would be helpful, but I recently found out they're not friends anymore." _

"Yeah, I did know about that."

"_And now to find out you guys don't talk to each other either makes me think Mitchie really is not the same anymore._" I could hear in her voice that she had been crying. _"And I really don't know what to do. I have tried everything and she doesn't let us talk to her."_

"I am sorry to hear that, Mrs. Torres._" _I said, still nervous. "I could talk to Mitchie, if you'd like." I mean, I was still going to do it, so pretending I was going to do for her wouldn't hurt anybody, would it?

"_Oh my god, would you do that for me,Alex? I could never thank you enough!"_

"Of course, Mrs. Torres. Don't worry about it."

"_Thank you so, so, so much, Alex, really. I really do think she's going to listen to you. Please, let me have my baby back." _She did sound desperate. I smiled sadly, because everyone believe she was going to listen to me. What if she didn't?

"I will do it, soon, Mrs. Torres, don't worry about it. I will try my best to make her listen."

"_You're a life savior, Alex. I really trust you will make her listen. Thank you so much! Say hi to your mom for me, please!" _Yes, Mrs. Torres, I will make her listen, even if that means losing my mind in the process.

IIIIIIIIIIII

I avoided calling Mitchie for a few days. The green eyed girl continued trying to convince me to don't do it, even bringing Nate and Harper into the situation –they both almost slapped me when they heard about it, saying I was insane– but nothing that they could say were going to make me change my mind about that special matter. However, I didn't do it right away as I said I would because it really was going to be too much for me. I was not ready to go and talk to the girl that I still had feelings for, get her out of a depression caused by a stupid decision that, I must be honest, hurt me really deeply inside and then just get her out of her life again just because I was not going handle it, all at once. Like, was it even fair for her? I didn't have too much time to think, though. Almost four days after Tess and Mrs. Torres called me, I went to my grandparents' house, like every Sunday. As usual, I ignored my cousins, stayed out of the family reunion as much as I could, locked myself in the attic with the old guitar and then went out for a walk to the park, still evaluating the situation until it was completely inevitable for me to be with the family: Dinner time.

That dinner could easily be resumed in one word: horrible.

You'll see, normally when I have to actually sit and dinner with the entire family, I just focus on eating, so I can get out of there as soon as I finish. Normally, I am always the first one to leave the table. That night, however, I was too into my thoughts to focus on eating fast, that I stayed in the dining room enough for them to hear what they were talking about and oh, how I wish I didn't.

"So mom, did you hear about Rose's granddaughter?" said my aunt Elena, who was very nosey. I looked up from my food right away. "And all the trouble she caused at school?" the trouble _she _caused at school? Oh, god, gossip is not going to be good, is it?

My grandmother gave her a confused look. "What are you talking about, Elena?"

"Oh, so Rose hasn't told you?" She said, sounding as annoying as ever. "Well, I heard that her granddaughter slept with a few guys and they outed her in school." it was only one, thank you very much, aunt, but of course I couldn't say that and of course he rest of my family would start making comments, even my mom.

"Oh, and that's not all! She not only slept with different guys but she said she was a lesbian! Like, what a way to contradict herself, huh?" The room got dangerously quiet. The kind of quiet you never get in a family reunion.

"She is a what?" Said my grandfather, breaking the silence, with a hostile tone. This was not going to be good.

"What you heard, dad, a lesbian."

"Oh my god, I can't believe this! She looked like such a good girl!" Another of my aunts exclaimed and the comments exploded. Everyone started talking.

"She is going into the wrong path, I really hope she finds God soon and gets back on track. Like, a lesbian? That's just ridiculous." I heard someone else say.

"I can only imagine how ashamed Rose must feel! Imagine having someone like that in your family? It's just wrong!" and so they went on. I was holding onto my fork with so much strength that my hand was turning white, just as the vein in my neck started to be very noticeable, as I tried to hold myself together and not saying anything about this matter. But well, I am Alex Russo and I do not hold myself together when I should. So when one of my cousins said "I can't believe I even thought that girl could be my friend! She's such a mistake!" I totally lost it.

"What the _fuck _is wrong with all of you, people?" I exclaimed so loudly and with so much strength in my voice I even surprised myself, mostly because I had _never _cursed in front of my mother, let alone my grandparents.

"Alexandra Russo, what kind of language is that!" My mom exclaimed, sounding completely scandalized.

"No, mom, what kind of people are all of you? You all pretty much loved that girl ten minutes ago and just because she likes something different than the average, you start jumping into conclusions! You don't even know if what my aunt just told you is truth!"

"Alexandra, you don't know what you're talking about, dear. This kind of people, like _her_" My grandmother said, sounding disgusted when she said 'her' and making my blood boil in that moment. "Is sick. Liking people from the same sex is not natural and it's a sin."

"Oh my god that is _bullshit._" I exclaimed, bitterly. Some of my aunts gasped like if it really was a big deal. "When you fall in love, you just can't help who you fall in love with, no mattering sex or looks. You just fall in love with that person, not the gender they are. "

"Why are you even talking about love, Alexandra?" My uncle inquired looking at me through the glasses placed almost at the tip of his nose. "You are too young to understand such things like that and you should behave, young lady, because you owe us respect, so stay quiet, please."

"Oh my god, are we serious right now? You all are just wrong. I know about love much more than you will ever do. And I have news for you, uncle Ernesto. " I said, glaring at him. "You have to earn the respect and you all surely just lost the tiny amount I had for you. So if you excuse me, good fucking bye." And with nothing else to say, I stormed out of the dinning room, knowing I was going to be into deep shit when I got home. And to be honest, I couldn't care less.

IIIIIIIII

_**Mitchie's POV**_

When I got home that night, after what I did with Joe, I went straight to my room and turned it upside down; looking for something I had kept away from me for a very long time because looking at it made me feel horrible. When I found it, I sat on the floor, with my back to my closet's door, holding tightly against my chest the object and hysterically crying. After a while, because of all the weight of the events of the night, I fell asleep on the floor, still holding the object really tightly. The following morning, when I woke up and realized it still was close to me, I searched for my phone in between all the mess I had done on my room, calling the reason of my sleepless nights when I found it. She didn't answer, of course.

"_Hey, it's Alex Russo here! I'm not sure of why I can't answer you now, but leave me a message and I'll answer soon! Thank you!" _I sighed, while my heart was beating as fast as it would always do whenever I listened to her voice, not mattering it was only a recording.

"Hi Lex, it's me, Mitchie, again. I–I don't even know why I'm calling you but…" I sighed, again, as I felt a few tears escape my eyes. "I–I found the drawing you made of us. Remember? That one drawing you did for an art class assignment that you sent to me after you got it grade it? I still have it and it still looks as perfect as it did back then. I still love it as much as I did when I got it." I left out a half broken breath. "And I can't help but feel sorry when I look at it, because it reminds me that I did the only thing I swore to myself I wouldn't do: hurt you." I started crying, again. "An –and I am so, so sorry for it all that you have no idea. I didn't deserve a second chance, I have that clear now. I maybe even deserved the way we broke up. Anyway, no matter how it was, I want you to know, to always have in mind that I love you and I still won't give up on you, on us. " I looked down at the drawing, whipping the tears away with my sweater's sleeve. "Because if you really love someone, you don't give up on them. You keep fighting until there's nothing to fight for and even when it seems there's nothing else to fight for anymore, I still will do it because I know that what we had still doesn't die and I will prove it to you. I promise you that. I love you, Lex, I really do. Take care, popcorn."

It wasn't long before I broke up with Joe. Whenever I was seen with him, I couldn't help but it was just _wrong _and after a week or so, it was too much for me to handle. Of course, he didn't like the fact that I broke up right after we slept together for the first time and, as revenge, went on telling everyone fake details of the 'wild' night we shared. I couldn't walk past his friends, without any comment being made nor could I walk by the halls without getting any dirty look or whisper from the girls around. I was a mess myself already and for that to come up was being complete and total hell for me. So, naturally, I exploded, letting all my frustrations out on him, out on everyone else that was willing to listen what I had to say to him. I told them all the truth and instead of making me feel better, it only made me feel worse. I had too much regrets in me by that time I couldn't handle it. I was not sleeping, I was not eating, I was not even thinking anymore. I could only go to school, pretend I paid attention to my classes, ignore everyone in the halls and go back to my house, where I would lock myself until I had to repeat everything all over again. My parents were worried, but I couldn't seem to give a damn about it. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone, to let me drown in emptiness. Then, that way, I didn't have to think about anyone or anything anymore. I didn't have to think about the trouble or the secrets, the hurting or the cheating, just forget her name, his dark eyes, her smile, his smirk, her face and his touch.

I just wanted to forget everything.

I was lying in my bed, quietly strumming the guitar as I was looking at the white ceiling, not certain of what I was playing. I was just doing it for the sake of it. I had no idea of what was going on around me, I have ignored my mom's insistent attempts to talk to me so many times that I didn't hear her if she came anymore. My phone had rang at least fifty times, but I didn't bother to answer because no one mattered. No one until _that_ day. You see, when I started dating Alex, I set a ringtone for her number, which was _Drops of Jupiter _by Train, so I could answer to her as fast as I could when she called. I would never miss a call that came from her. So, when the phone started ringing, I ignored It, not recognizing the song or maybe just not listening to it enough to know which song it was because I didn't want to talk to anyone. Then, the phone rang again and I heard it.

_She acts like summer and walks like rain, reminds me there's time to change. _

I pretty much was about to drop my guitar and let it break for how fast I got up. Fortunely, I got enough time to put it safely on my bed and found my phone, still not believing Alex was calling even when I was seeing her beautiful picture on my screen.

"Alex?" I said, breathlessly, not wanting to get my hopes up. However, my heart stopped when I heard it.

"_Hi, Mitchie."_ The butterflies exploded in my stomach, my heart recovered from its trance and started racing like mad and my breath got stuck in my throat, as a face eating smile appeared on my face.

"Alex..." I whispered, sudden happiness filling up my chest. That was the effect she had on me. "You called."

"_Yeah, I did._" She said, nervously laughing. Even though that, I could tell by the tone in her voice that she was upset.

"Is everything okay, Lex?"

"_I think I could ask the exact same thing to you." _I sighed, imagining what she was referring to. Freaking Tess, of course. _"I am okay but you know how my relatives are. They just upset me a lot. What about you, Mitchie? Are you okay?"_

"I am guessing you know about what happened."

"_Yeah, I do know. I would have beaten him up with baseball bat, though. He deserved it." _I giggled, still surprised I was holding this conversation with her, just like in the old times. No fights, no crying, just us talking. _"And what you did, accepting that in front of your entire school, that's pretty brave, you know? Not everyone would do that." _

I sighed, smiling sadly. "Well, thank you, Alex, you are actually the first person that says that to me. The rest are just... rude."

"_Well, Mitchie, that's because you're focusing on the bad people, the ones that don't matter. That actually might be your problem, if you think about it. You're not seeing the people that care, the ones that have tried to reach out to you and you have blocked them out. Those are the one who matter, Mitch. " _

"I know. I am just scared."

"_Scared of what? That they might not accept you as you are?"_

"Yeah..."

"_Well then, if they don't, just fuck them, Mitch. They're not worth it, you are. They can talk all they want, but they will never be as amazing as you are, get that in your head, bright eyes." _my heart skipped a beat when she called me bright eyes and I thought I would pass out at any moment.

"I–I love you so much, Alex." I said, without noticing. "I really do." I heard her sigh in the other line.

"_Mitch..."_

"Did you hear the voicemail I left you?"

"_Yeah, I did before calling you."_ She said as I pictured her pinching the bridge of her nose as she looked down at the floor, thing she'd do whenever something would get overwhelming to her.

"So?"

"_I really don't know what do you expect me to say, Mitch. Y__–You know I can't, at least not anymore.__"_ I sighed, feeling the tears I was so sick of by that time coming back. Just what i needed.

"Why? What's stopping you? Your new girlfriend?" I bet she could hear the hurting in my voice and for the first time, I didn't care if I made her feel bad or not. I needed answers.

"_She_–_She's not my girlfriend." _Alex replied, sounding upset. _"But even if she was, that doesn't matter."_

"Do you have feelings for her?" My question caught her off guard, I could tell when something being dropped and colliding with the floor was heard.

"_I didn't call you to discuss my feelings, Mitchie, I called you because I care and worry about you."_

"You don't have any reason to worry about me, though."

"_So you're going to tell me you slept with that jerk just because you felt like it? Because if that's the case, Michelle, I don't know what's going on then." _

"We all make mistakes."

Alex sighed. _"Fine, then, don't tell me, I'm not going to push you into something you don't want to do. And, Mitch, if you really want to know, my feelings for you haven't changed, they never did nor will do now that this happened." _my heart started beating really fast. Didn't she just said she didn't want to talk about it? What the hell was she doing? "_But I really don't think I will be able to handle it a third time, you know? Everything will always get in our way, no matter if it's having to keep it as a secret or the distance or just more people. We can't do it, Mitchie, I really don't think we can._"

"But I do."

"_But it takes two for a relationship to work and I don't want to hurt you again, Mitch, because I know I did. Even though everything that has happened, you don't deserve it."_

"You are hurting me more by telling me you don't want to be with me anymore, though." by that time, I was sobbing. I was upset.

"_I know, Mitch, I'm sorry." _She took a deep breath. _"Just tell me, can you do something for me even though I am an asshole to you most of the time?" _

"You're not an asshole to me. I mean, if you really think about it, it's my fault our relationship it's fucked up now, so I do deserve this, it just doesn't mean it will stop hurting. However, I'd still do anything for you. Tell me what you want, Alex, and I'll do it for you."

the New Yorker took a moment to answer and I stayed there, listening to her breathing. _"I want you..." _She started, softly. _"To give up on me and live. I want you to stop pushing people away. Your family knows now and I am pretty sure they're going to be supportive about it. You will be able to date whoever you want, without having them judging you and that's what you should do. I want you to look out there, in California, and fall in love with someone new, someone that's going to give you what you deserve. I am not worth all the things that happened because of me or what you thought I was doing. I am someone who is not going to respond as you would expect because of all the things that I can't do. I don't deserve you or your love, Mitchie." _I couldn't believe what she was saying in that moment. She didn't deserve my love? This girl was completely insane. _"So I want you to get out of your room and forget about those fuckers that are talking shit. You're better than them, Mitchie, don't ever forget that, alright?"_

"I don't even know what to say to that right now, Alex." I said, as I whipped my tears and my voice shook a little. I heard her laugh, softly yet very sadly.

"_You don't really have to say anything, Mitch, I just wanted to tell you that because you won't disappoint me."_

"Never again._"_

"_That's my girl." _I wasn't even looking at her and could tell she was smiling in the other line. My heart broke a little bit more, though. _"I gotta go now, but I'll stay in touch, okay?"_

I didn't even process what she was saying anymore. "O–okay."

"_Good. And talk to your mom, by the way. She's worried about you."_

"Will do."

"_Great. Take care, Mitch. Bye."_

It was until Alex hang up the phone when the world fell to my feet again. She wanted me to give up on her because she had given up on us. She avoided talking about her friend or whatever that Alison girl was and her feelings for her, which pretty much was a confirmation of what I feared the most. Alex liked that girl and was in denial of it because of the exact same thing that happened to us: her family. Alex Russo would always care about what her family had to say, no matter how much she said she disliked half of them, and knowing how judgemental they could be, she was not going to act on her feelings, not again. She only acted on it because I was persistent. However, there still existed a chance that, in a moment of rage –because Alex could be as impulsive as I was–, she'd could go on and do something crazy. I couldn't let that happen, could I? No. I was not giving up on Alex. I was not going to let her love for me die.

I was going to go to New York and no one was stopping me now.

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**Let me know what you think in a review! Have a wonderful week :) **


	9. Alex's Songs

**Hello my wonderful readers!**

**I know it's been a while, my apologies for that; I just had a writer's block, a borrowed book to finish and a couple of bad weeks. However, I wrote two one shots, "All That We Needed" and "Away", which if you haven't read them already, you should give it a try and make me one happy little cookie by leaving a review with your thoughts about them. **

**Now, this chapter. First of all, I know it's a mess. I probably tried to write this around fifteen times and nothing seemed right, so I just went on and wrote my soul away. I don't know how this turned out, but I hope you don't get confused that much. Fingers crossed, to be honest. Second, Bright Eyes is coming to an end. Probably, next chapter or the following after that will be the end, I am still deciding that, but you have been warned. Writing this has been such a reliever for me in different ways and I hope you enjoyed it. Finally, I am feeling uneasy about this one already because there are a few lines to two songs I wrote, so let me know what you think about that and the whole thing in a review. It would be highly appreciated. **

**Onto the chapter now, italics are flashbacks, thoughts and sometimes songs. Hope you enjoy it :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot to this story, a few random characters, Alison Anderson and the songs used for this specific chapter. The rest goes out to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight.**

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**Chapter IX: Alex's Songs**

"_So according to your mom, Alex, you hate the beach with a burning passion._" _Mitchie started, giving me her beautiful face eating smile. "So I want to know, what was so important for you to bring me here when you hate it?"_

_I looked around. Although it was a summer day, the beach was fairly empty. Why was this phenomenon happening? I didn't know, but I was going to take advantage of it. "Just wait and see bright eyes." I said, returning the smile. I stood up and walked to our stuff lying on the sand, taking the guitar case I had brought all the way from Waverly to here. _

"_I don't think bringing the guitar here was a good idea, Lex." Mitchie said, looking at me taking it out from the case and sitting again, placing it in my lap. "The humidity is not good for the wood, you know." _

_My smile grew bigger. "I will only use it for a little bit, alright? Don't worry about it." I ran my fingers through the fret board. "This is my baby, so I wouldn't want to see anything happening to it, but this, what I am going to do, is more important."_

_Mitchie's eyes widened at the surprise but then smirked, raising an eyebrow at me. "Can I know what are you going to do?"_

_I suddenly lost all words I had planned to say. I just could sit there, looking down at the guitar, with my throat completely dry and my thoughts going insane. What did I exactly want to tell her before I did this? I went with the simple. "I wrote a song for you."_

_Mitchie was taken aback, clearly not expecting that. "Wha–what?" _

_I brought my hand to the back of my head. "Well, not exactly." I sighed. "I was just fooling around with the guitar the other day and an idea came to me and yeah. I haven't finished it but you're leaving soon, so I'd figured out I'd play for you what I have before that happens." I slightly plucked the strings then I looked at her, with a soft smile in my face. "I hope you like it, though; you know I'm kind of new with songwriting…"_

"_You wrote me a song…" the look in Mitchie's face was priceless. She didn't seem like she had an idea of what to say or feel, so I decided to go on and start playing, keeping my eyes on the fret board as much as I could. I had prepared myself to do this for days and I really didn't want to screw it up. _

_It had to be perfect. I reminded myself the four chords the song consisted of, playing them over and over until I was ready to start singing, with Mitchie's attentive eyes on me. I looked up from the fret board, my eyes meeting hers, the only reason why I had written this song. _

_And that was all I needed to start singing. _

IIIIIII

"Alex, what are you doing?" I turned around, finding Alison's curious green eyes looking at me. "What is that?"

"Oh, nothing." I smiled. "A box."

She rolled her eyes, putting her hands inside her beloved black leather jacket and walking to me. "I know it is a box but the question is what's inside of it." Alison took the sheets of paper I had in my hands and that she had noticed until now, reading them.

"Memories would be the best answer." The green eyed girl looked from the sheets of paper to me, giving the exact same disapproving stare she'd always give me whenever she'd find me in memory lane again. "I really can't help it, so don't look at me like that."

"You are just torturing yourself, you know that?"

"No need to remind me, I know it very well."

"Why didn't you tell me you wrote her a song, though?" She looked back at me. "Scratch that, why didn't you tell me you write songs?"

I shrugged. "I didn't think it was important, since the only songs I have ever written were for her."

"Did you finish this one? Because I need to tell you, it's good." Alison said, pointing at the paper.

I gave her a little smile. "Thank you and no, I didn't." I replied, letting out a deep breath. "I couldn't bring myself to do it." she raised both of her eyebrows, questioning me, as I walked to my desk's chair and sat on it. "When she left, I didn't find the will to finish it because I missed her. Then, when everything unfolded, the only thing I wanted to do was forget about that damn song, so I put it in that box to avoid it."

She nodded in understanding, directing her gaze to the contents of my box. "Bright eyes, bright eyes, bright eyes…" Alison repeated, taking out pictures, more papers and random gifts I had in it: Everything that Mitchie had ever given me. "Damn it, Alex, you clearly have an obsession with her eyes, don't you?"

I started spinning in my chair. "They're one of the many reasons I fell for her."

"Really now?" She said, looking back at me, putting everything inside of the box again, and still holding my song in her hand. "How come?"

"You see, I have always believed eyes show much more of a person than world will ever do and Mitchie was just another proof of that." I made the chair spin again. "She could lie to me, but her eyes would stay as truthful as they always were."

Alison smiled, sadly. "I see she still can bring the best words out of you and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing."

"It just depends in the way you see it, Al, and as I see it, it is a good thing, for now."

Ever since my call with Mitchie, my feelings and view on my relationship with her had changed in a significant way. If well I was now sure the was no way I was going to put myself through it _again, _no matter how much I wanted it to make her happy, I didn't regret anything of what I did with and for Mitchie. Hell, sometimes I would even think that maybe the cheating situation was needed for me to grow as a person. Although this resolution had made me change my attitude and more comfortable and happier with myself, they still treated me like I was going to break at any moment. Even Nate, who had distanced himself a bit because baseball was absorbing his time and thought I was in good hands with Alison and Harper, would change his attitude towards me whenever the subject of Mitchie would come into the view. It was annoying, but I tried to appreciate it, since they were doing it because of the mess I had been after she left for the second time.

"Would it be too much if I asked you to play it for me?" Alison asked, making me snap out of my trance and look at her, who was handing me my guitar. "I have never heard you play and what would be better than listening to an original Alex Russo song?"

"What?!" I exclaimed. "Are–are you serious right now?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Alison, I am not a singer!" I replied, taking the guitar.

"And your point is?" She sat on my bed, pushing the box a little to the side so she could get even more comfortable. "I still want to hear it." She placed both of her hands in the back of her neck. "I mean, you played for California, so…"

"It's different, I wrote it for her…"

"Come on, Russo, chill." She smirked, as always. "I promise you I won't go out screaming how bad you are if you really are bad, thing I highly doubt, to be honest."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you really sure you want to go through this torture?"

"Let me hear you, Lex."

I sighed, giving in and pulling the guitar close to me, tuning it because it had been a while since the last time I played. I mean, I loved music, but as corny as it sounds, it made me think about Mitchie a little too much, being that one of the biggest connection we ever had.

"Which one do you want me to play?" I asked and Alison held up the sheet of paper I was previously holding.

"Bright Eyes." I nodded, feelings my fingers go back to a position they knew very well, because of the many times I had played it.

"I think it goes like this…" I whispered and started playing, trying not to stumble. _"Quite the impact you'll always make, that pretty smile and perfect hair, you will always leave girls in despair." _I guess that was the first moment I ever realized how corny I could be, but I tried to ignore it. "_Cute as you've always been, bright eyes, shaky hands, you'll always make my heart sing and play._"

I sighed, looking to my smiling best friend in my bed, while I was making a fool out of myself because of how _fucking _corny I was. "_We'll never have the time of the world, but hey now, I'll let you know._" I looked down at the fret board. "_I'll give it all, we'll make it work, if not well, we have this song…_"

Alison didn't say anything as I played; transporting me with such a simple act as that one to moment I played and sang those exact same words to Mitchie, that day in the beach, making me feeling just as nervous as I was that day. Was it the song, the feelings it gave me or how bright Alison's own eyes were in that moment, as I sang about another pair of eyes I used to love? I'd never know.

I just knew it all felt weird.

"Russo, I don't think you give yourself enough credit. Your voice is just fine." She said, once I finished the unfinished song and I looked up to her. "Just as your writing."

I smiled, kind of embarrassed. "Isn't it corny, though? I mean, if I could, I'd go back and slap myself for being so hung up on her."

She smiled. "Well, you were hopeful. You wanted to work and it didn't. So what? Why would you regret having something that gave you so much to remember?"

IIIIIII

It was not long after until I came to terms with the fact that life didn't like me and because of that, it always had to find a way to screw me over.

None of this was fair.

I didn't want to feel anymore. After all these years of listening to people talking about how wonderful was to be in love, after all these years of waiting for that special someone that was going to take my breath away and make my world a much brighter place, I couldn't help but feel bitter. None of what they said love was going to be was happening in that moment and it really fucking sucked. I didn't want to think anymore either. Every time I would do it, something would crash inside my brain and make me feel even worse than I already did. I couldn't get a break and I really didn't know what had I done to deserve it. Even if I knew, nothing was going to change.

I wanted all this to finally be over.

My mom came home after I finished playing songs for Alison, who made me play for about an hour after I played that one specific song for her. Her excuse was that she liked to listen to my voice and that knew it wouldn't happen again, so she had to take advantage of it. I am guessing my mom heard us upstairs, because she soon after knocked on my door, just to open not even a second later she did it. She looked at Alison, gave her a fake smile of courtesy –because as noted before, my mom still didn't like her– and then looked at me, telling me that I had no option but to go to my grandparents' house for the weekend with the family, since it was going to be their anniversary and I _had _to be there.

You see, I had been avoiding visiting my grandparents' house ever since my outburst, because I didn't want to deal with the crap they were going to pull off, since it was no secret of how upset they were with me for defending something so _unnatural. _I laughed every time my mom talked about it over dinner, obviously still not happy with me; because of how little did she know. However, knowing how against everyone in my family was made me just reassure the fact that my relationship with Mitchie was going to stay behind doors. I really wished it wasn't that way, because despite of everything, I was not ashamed of it and I didn't understand why I had to hide something that, during its time, made me so happy, but I had to suck it up and deal with it.

Anyway, I was freaking out; I'm not going to lie about that. I was nervous about going back after what happened, so I went on and asked my mom if I could bring Alison with me, since I didn't want to be alone all day in a house where probably everybody hated me. She rolled her eyes and made clear her disagreement with it, but allowed me to do it as long as I went there.

Bringing Alison that night was not one of my brightest ideas.

That night, my family was the last of my problems. If anything, they were nice to me, because they had to keep up their masks of perfect family around their friends. The annoying people I had avoided for all the years I had coming to these anniversary parties, the horrible music, my cousins, family that claimed to know me yet I didn't recall seeing, none of it mattered.

No, the only things that mattered were the past, the present and the future.

The past came haunting me just like every time. Mitchie showed up in the party and nobody warned me about it. Soon enough, I found myself in front of her, with the best friend she thought I was dating behind me. I didn't know what to do, so I just ran away, as the coward I was, and left both there. Once again, I wanted to be over with the party and go home. I couldn't stand being around so much fake people, which was the reason I even avoided any kind of parties. If well they weren't my thing, I just preferred to be around people that _actually _wanted me around. Nonetheless, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about _her, _when I found myself in the balcony of my grandparents' room, looking out to the back yard, where the party was taking place and where I had met Michelle Torres, one year before. That was when it hit me. Spring break had passed me by so fast, I didn't realize the school year had finished and I was there, back where everything started. And just like that, I felt my heart breaking inside my chest, once again, because back then, when I first saw Mitchie, I never expected anything to end up as it had. And I wanted to cry, because I missed what we used to have, yet that was never going to return. No, we were strangers, just like at the beginning. Then, I looked at the present, where Mitchie and Alison probably were killing each other because they didn't like one another and I couldn't seem to give a damn about it, because the thought alone of getting in between my past and my future just left me feeling worse and without expecting it, I realized I looked at Alison as my future and the denied feelings inside me came to the surface, as strong as what I felt for Mitchie back in the day in my house when I sang to her and she kissed me.

Everything finally made sense, yet confused me to no end. I loved Mitchie, yet I wanted Alison. How was that even possible, to love two people at the same time?

"Alexandra." I heard someone call me, making me turn around. It was my grandmother, wearing a matching white hat and sweater she didn't have a few hours ago, both items looking brand new. Probably an anniversary gift, I supposed.

"Yes, grandma?" I said, trying my best to make my voice sound as normal as I could. She smiled at me, like she had never done before, as she walked towards me and place her hand on my shoulder.

"Your grandfather spent the night, last year, talking about how fantastic one of his granddaughters was, musically, and now our guests want that fantastic granddaughter to play tonight." I felt the anxiety build up in my chest. "Would you do that for us, tonight?"

I nodded, because I didn't want to fight, because I didn't want to make my grandfather look bad. For god's sakes, I just wanted to let all the feelings inside me out and that was the healthiest way to do it, so why not go on and take the chance?

Of course my grandmother was delighted to hear I was going to do it, not failing to mention how much she had thought about to convince me in case I said no, just as she told me to go to the attic and get the good old nylon string guitar. I did as I was told and soon enough I was sitting in an improvised stage, with the guitar on my lap and in front of not only every face I had avoided during the years of coming to my grandparents' anniversary parties but in front of Mitchie and in front of Alison and I don't think there has ever been a moment when I felt more scared than that one.

"Hi, I'm Alex Russo, granddaughter of the loving couple that we're here tonight for." I smiled a little, tuning the strings. "And that asked me to play a few songs for you tonight. Is that okay with you?" everyone started to cheer, as I expected them to, because no one truly tells someone else to get off of a stage in this kind of events. "Great! So I will sing three songs I wrote and then we'll go on with the covers, sounds good?" the public cheered again and I looked down to the fret board, keeping my lips close to the microphone. "This is called 'Everything' and I hope you like it." I started plucking the strings and I sighed, getting myself ready for what was to come. Then, I stared singing. "_I fell in love when your eyes met mine, I couldn't get your smile off my mind._" I smiled to myself again. "'_cause you were everything I could ever want._" I heard some 'awws' in the crowd, but I decided to ignore them. "_I fell in love when I first heard you laugh, it was a melodic sound, 'cause you were everything I could ever hear._"

To make it short, the song talked about _everything _that made me fall in love with Mitchie, who I avoided looking at while I sang. In fact, I even avoided Alison, because I didn't want to deal with it either. However, even when the whole song was corny –why am I even surprised, to be honest– the last line was what meant the most to me "_I fell in love when you finally let go, taking with you my soul, 'cause you were everything I wouldn't see again, just everything I would never be able to explain" _simply because Mitchie was that, everything I could never explain.

IIIIIIII

"_Alex, I am here, in New York, for you." The brunette said, looking at me with her teary brown eyes, as I ran my fingers through my hair. "I love you and I really don't want to lose you, me being here is a proof of that. I am willing to do anything, Alex, please just give me a chance, a real chance." _

"_Why, Mitchie?" I asked, sighing. "Why can't you let go of me so I can let go of you? This is not healthy, for any of us."_

"_You don't give up on the people you love, is just as simple as that."_

"_I can't do it, Mitchie, I really can't. You see all these people, right now, in this party? None of them would ever let us be happy. In fact, I bet they all would tear me apart from you and sent me away to 'reform' me before that happened." I looked down at the floor, being completely unable to look at her eyes. "And you don't need that, Mitchie, you really don't."_

"_I would do anything for you."_

"_But I wouldn't and that's the thing. Hiding two weeks it's not the same as hiding all your life. You wouldn't stand it, I wouldn't stand it. " _

"_You are using the same argument over and over again, are you sure this is because of that or because your feelings have changed? Because, Alex, if it is that, stop this nonsense and say it straight to my face." Mitchie said, looking as upset as ever. I covered my face, exasperated. _

"_For god's sakes, Mitchie!" I exclaimed, trying my best to not raise my voice yet failing at it. "Are we going through this discussion again?"_

_She folded her arms over her chest. "I don't understand why you even say 'again' since you seem to avoid that specific subject as much as you can each time we talk!" The way she was looking at me was different from what I was used to and I didn't know how to feel about it. In fact, I just didn't know how to feel about anything. "And _Alexandra_, I saw the way you looked at her and I can assure you it was everything but just a fucking friendly stare."_

"_You're reading too much into it, Michelle." If she was going to use my full name, I might as well do the same. _

"_No, I'm not." She wiped the single tear that escaped her eyes, furiously. "I just know you that damn well."_

_I sighed, again. "Coming back to New York wasn't a good idea, Mitch, when it's clear you are not–" Mitchie didn't even let me finish. Before I could register it, she had pulled me by my coat and kissed me. Of course, just like every time, it felt like the world had no ending, that I could stay like that, with her, forever. Then, my common sense came to me –anyone could see us, for crying out loud!– and I pulled away, not really wanting to. I had missed those lips. _

"_You still feel something for me, you didn't lie about that." She whispered, licking her lips in a way only she could do. I felt my voice get stuck in my throat. "However, the question is _what _you really feel for me. Are you just in love with me or do you really love me?" I gave her a confused look, still unable to say a thing. "Because I have discovered recently that those two things aren't the same." She took a deep breath and continued. "Falling in love with someone is when you start thinking they're the most perfect human being on earth, when you see no flaws, no mistakes. It's when you would do anything to be around them, not caring about the world or anyone against it. It's just you and that person. Loving someone is completely different. It's when you start seeing that someone as they really are and you accept every single one of their defects, even the ones you don't particularly like." She looked up to me, connecting her eyes with mine. "So, Alex, what do you feel for me?" _

"Alison?" I called, opening my eyes, shaking the memory out of my head and looking at the ceiling in the dark, placing my hands on the blankets that covered my body. "Are you still awake?"

"Mhm." She mumbled from the floor, where my mom had place an improvised mattress for her to sleep, because she didn't want to take my bed.

"Are you upset with me?" my voice sounded weak, almost broken.

"No." She replied sounding completely different from I was used to, coming from her.

I sighed. "I–I am sorry for ignoring you. I just–"

"Alex, I told you once. Your relationship with that girl is beyond my understanding and I really don't want to deal with it anymore. It's your life, you'll decide what will you do with it or not." Yep, she still was upset with me.

"I shouldn't have blown you off when she asked to talk. You–You are my best friend. Therefore, you should come before Mitchie. " My voice finally cracked, bursting into tears. "I did the same to Nate and Harper, in its time and it's not fair but whenever she's around I don't know what to do and I just–" I heard her shift in her bed and then I saw her silhouette standing up in the dark to then lay in bed next to me. I moved to my left and gave her more space, holding tight to her once she was settled.

"Shh, Alex, it's alright." Her voice got significantly softer, yet I still could sense anger in her voice. "I told you once and I am telling you again. When you started dating her, you were hopeful. You wanted it to work. Now, despite of how much I just don't like that girl, she is hopeful, she wants it to work. She didn't give you the chance to make it work when you wanted it, you could pay her back the same way, but Alex, if you love her, why would you even think of not giving her another chance? If you love her, why are you making her wait so much, when we both know you won't let go of her? Simple as it, Alex, if you love her, go for it. Have her, be happy with her." She sighed, moving my bangs from my face to behind my ear. "Just… decide."

As I think you know now, the party was a mess, at least for me. When Mitchie arrived, all my attention focused on her, and even when Alison tried her best to keep me focused on something else, I couldn't bring myself to walk away from Mitchie without talking. The talk, however, went disastrously, turning this situation around so much that I was finally the heartbreaker, not the heartbroken. When I went back to Alison, she was upset. She avoided talking to me the entire ride back home yet agreed to stay with me because it was late. The conversation we held in my room that night was probably the first one ever since I talked to Mitchie and of course, it didn't last that long. Right after she said what she said to me, Alison went to her improvised bed on the floor, falling asleep immediately or just pretending she did, not making a sound anymore, leaving me alone with my thoughts, even when she was right there.

I guess that was when I realized I had to take a decision, soon. If I was going to give Mitchie a chance to fix what she messed up, a real chance this time, then I had to accept the consequences of anything that could happen. Nevertheless, if I was going to finally give up on our relationship, then I needed to let go of her. Not move on, because that would take much more time, but not stay there either. Just cut her off of my life and let time do its work. Those were the only two options I always had and that I had prolonged so much to take. But now, I was not only putting at risk my relationship with Mitchie but I was putting on the line my relationship with my parents, my brothers, my relatives, my grandparents. Hell, I was even putting on the line my relationship with Alison.

Was taking Mitchie back worth all of that?

I closed my eyes, yet again, covering my face with both of my hands. There was just one thing I was sure of, by that point. I couldn't do it anymore, none of it and the truth was it just wasn't fair, again.

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**So, I don't know. You guys could leave a review or something, but that's up to you. Have a wonderful week and hopefully I won't take long to update again. See you soon!**


	10. Anything

**Well, my dear friends, the end has finally come. **

**Thanks for everyone who took the time to read, review, favorite and follow this story. I appreciate every single one of you that gave me a try to entertain you. This last chapter might not be what you expect, but I hope you understand what I tried to do with it. **

**It was a pleasure to write for you and we hopefully will read each other soon. **

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot to this story. The credit of the characters' names and songs used to tell this story goes to whoever was smart enough to create them, hoping they're doing well in their lives tonight.**

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**Chapter X:**

**Anything**

"_What are you willing to do?" I asked, looking at the girl in front of me, carefully, as Mitchie questioned me with her eyes. _

"_What do you mean?" She questioned, slightly moving her head to her left, making a curl of her hair fall into her eyes. I brought one of my sweaty palms to her face to move it, placing her soft curl behind her ear, my hand slightly shaking. _

"_I know we have very little of knowing each other, but I think we can make it work, I really can." I swallowed, feeling the weight of my words as soon as I realized what saying that meant. I was going to give it a try. I didn't know what was going to come out of it, but I had decided Mitchie was worth it and I was going to give it a try. The one thing left to do was for her to accept and that alone made me completely nervous. What if that first kiss we shared didn't mean anything? "So the question is, Mitchie, what would you do, just to be with me?"_

_Her curious eyes looked at me for a moment, looking as bright as ever. I could see a great amount of different emotions going through her eyes, but there was one that shone brighter than the others: hope. _

"_Anything." She said, in a slow whisper. Then, she smiled, making me smile too and for that moment, everything made sense. She was everything I had ever wanted and if we could make it work, there wouldn't be a thing that could tear us apart. No, if we made it work, we'd be inseparable. Or at least, that was what I hoped; being just everything I needed to go on with it._

_I was going to give my best for it to work and for the way she was looking at me, I knew she would, too. _

_IIIIIIIII_

I looked at the phone in front of me, lying at the other end of my bed, while I was sitting against the wall, holding my knees against my chest. It had been ringing for quite a while and I knew exactly who it was, but I didn't think I was going to be able to answer it and keep myself together.

Everything had turned out to be as bad as I imagined it would be. Alison decided to distance herself from me until I sorted myself out, going on vacation to Texas with her family and ignoring my calls as much as she could. Mitchie was still in town, but we were avoiding each other, for a reason that until date I still don't understand. Maybe she was afraid of what I was going to say or just wanted to give me space, maybe I was just too afraid I would go back to her without thinking it through if I spent quality time with her. I don't know, to be honest. Harper and Nate were trying to keep me occupied, distracted from all that had happened, but it started to seem impossible. How was I going to forget that I had to take a life changing decision? People might think I was being overdramatic, but taking that decision really was going to change my life, because either thing I decided had an effect and a consequence, just like everything in life. However, this was not only going to affect me or the other two girls involved. No, it was going to affect everyone else around us and just thinking of that made me feel sick. I really was not ready for that.

"_Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand miles away, but girl, tonight you look so pretty, yes you do; Times Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true…_" My phone rang again, making me sigh as I thought of how, after Mitchie sang that song to me for the first time, I couldn't stop myself from making it my ringtone for her and that, despite of everything that had happened between us, I couldn't bring myself to change it. Maybe it was because it turned into our song fast enough, or because it kind of fitted our situation. Maybe it was because Times Square would never compare to how bright only her eyes could be or just because New York City, _my _home, would always make me think of her. "_That will be your karma for fucking with that girl's feelings, Alexandra, always thinking of her in your own city." _My mind –that still sounded just like Nate– said to me. I shook the thought out of my head and crawled in my bed, picking up the phone. _10 missed calls. _I sighed, sliding the unblock button and looking at the missed calls, just for it to start vibrating and sounding in my hand. I clicked answer and with another sigh, I said. "Hello?"

"_Hi Alex, sorry for being so insistent._" Was the answer I got from a very tiredly sad sounding Mitchie. "_I just needed to talk to you. How are you doing?_"

"I'm alright, Mitchie, what about you?" I replied with a raspy voice. I had spent all morning in my room, drowning in my thoughts, so I hadn't said a word since I woke up.

"_I'm okay." _The hint of a smile was noticeable in her voice. "_But I really want to see you today._"

"Why?" I asked, looking at my feet hanging of my bed.

"_I'm leaving tomorrow and I probably won't come back in a very long time._"

"Oh, I see." I replied, taking a deep breath. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

She sighed. "_Doesn't matter, Can you come?_"

"Yeah, I guess." I said, probably sounding as sad and tired as she did. "I may need to ask my mom if she doesn't want me to do anything, though."

"_Oh, that's alright, just let me know if you can._"

"Will do."

"_Alright, talk to you later then, Lex._"

"Talk to you later, Mitchie."

Truth is that I didn't want to see her that day. I just wasn't ready, yet again as each time I had to see her. My mind was telling me to say goodbye and be over with it, but my heart was torn about everything. Like I said before, I loved Mitchie. I wanted to be with her, but in the deepest part of my soul, I knew I wouldn't be able to forget that she had cheated on me. _Once a cheater, always a cheater. _That was what my mind would always tell me whenever I was about to give in. Then, I had what I felt for Alison, that if well it wasn't as strong as what I felt for Mitchie, it surely was something. Would I be able to ignore it just for the sake of making Mitchie happy? No, I wouldn't and that alone was big trouble. But then again, I would have to ignore all together, since I didn't want to go against my family's wishes.

I sighed. '_You sigh a lot, you know that, Alex?' _the voice in my head said, making me smile, slightly. I got up from my bed, leaving my phone in it and walking to the mirror behind my door. I had always heard people say what a horrible feeling it was to see your reflection and not recognizing what was looking back at you. I never quite understood what they meant but it was clear to me, for the very first time, that day.

I was someone completely different to what I was before meeting Mitchie. I looked exhausted. My face, my eyes, my skin, even my hair, all looked different. I still slept like I had no worries in the world, yet I had bags under my eyes because of how many times I had cried over it. My eyes could say a million things but they didn't say anything at all at the same time. They were just a pair of brown eyes that had nothing special about them, unlike _hers_. I closed my eyes, bitterly smiling at how even the reflection of my own brown orbs now made me think of her. Michelle Torres had changed me; that was the only thing I knew. I was never going to be the same, just because of this. And if I fell in love again, the same thing would happen. I was going to constantly change, according to the situation and to be honest, I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

I ran my fingers through my hair and took the first jacket I found in my way that oddly enough was Alison's leather jacket. I knew it because it smelt like her. Why would she even leave it here and then ignore me, when she loved it more than anything? I decided against questioning myself about it and figure it out later. I walked out of my room, making my way to something I knew I wouldn't be able to avoid, like each time.

I left a note for my mom and took the bus to Mitchie's grandmother's house. When I arrived, I looked at the door, asking myself for the last time if I really was going to do it. The answer was completely obvious. I knocked on the door and waited. Soon after, the door swung open and Mrs. Torres appeared there.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Torres." I said, giving her a small smile as I slipped my hands inside the jacket's pockets. She returned the smile.

"Hello Alex, Mitchie mentioned you'd be coming." I nodded. "Come in, take a sit, she'll be here in a minute."

"Yeah, I heard you are leaving tomorrow, so I couldn't miss the chance to say goodbye. Do you have a ride, Mrs. Torres? Because if you don't, I don't think my mother would mind to lend me her car to take you there."

Her smile grew bigger. "Yes, we do, my brother is going to drive us, but thank you Alex, you are really kind." I nodded, smiling again and taking a sit on the old fashioned couch of that house. Mitchie's mom sat in front of me, making me feel awkward. She crossed her legs and placed her hands on her knees, keeping her eyes on me. Of course I looked at everything but her. "Alex?"

"Yes, ma'am?" I replied, keeping my eyes on the floor.

"I know what happened." The way she said that phrase made me panic. I looked up from the floor to her face, terrified. Was she referring to what I thought she was?

"Wh–What do you mean?"

"Last summer." _Oh my god. _I opened my mouth but closed it right after, because I had nothing to say. How could Mitchie tell her?! As if Mrs. Torres had read my mind, she said "And if you want to know, she didn't tell me anything. I just knew it and your face right now is confirming it."

"I–I…" I felt my hands shaking, just as I placed one on the back of my neck, trying to figure out what to say. "Your–your daughter and I–I, we–"

"Don't explain; it's okay." She said, putting a hand up to stop my rambling. "I just want you to answer a question, please, if you can answer it." I nodded. "Were you guys happy?"

She took me by surprise, again. "What?"

"Were you happy, while you were together? Because for the way that Mitchie smiles and then frowns whenever your name is mentioned, it's clear to me that you aren't together anymore." She furrowed her eyebrows. "So, I just want to know. Were you?" right in that moment, I saw Mitchie coming down the stairs, holding what looked like a heavy suitcase. She placed it on the floor, once she reached the end of the stairs and looked to me, smiling. I returned half of a smile and looked back to her mother, just as her grandmother called her and she walked to the kitchen.

"We were." I answered, as sure as I ever was. "Very happy, I would say, but things didn't work out as we wished they would and here we are now. It's been quite a journey, that's all I can say."

Mrs. Torres nodded in understanding and looked down to the her hands just like I did a few moments before, that gesture making her look a lot like her daughter. "I can bet going through something like _that _at such a young age must be very difficult." I bit my inferior lip. "But however it was like, I am glad to hear you were happy. I know as the mother I am, that she was happy and that truly is all that matters." She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, smiling as she still looked down. A minute after, she looked up and connected her eyes to mine, making me realize that Mitchie's eyes were exact replica of her mother's. "Just promise me that after you say goodbye, you will distance yourself as much as you can from her. No mother likes to see their daughter completely broken."

A bump started forming in my throat, making it hard to speak. "I don't either, Mrs. Torres, I really don't."

"I know but, just by looking at her when she's around you, I can see how much you mean to her and this is going to break her heart like never before. So you must stay away and let her move on. Can you do that for me, Alex? Can you let my baby girl forget?"

You tell me, how would you feel if the mother of someone that had hurt you yet given you so much told you to back off? I was about to break down crying, right there in front of her, because she was taking the decision I was refusing to take. She was asking me to let go of her daughter, just like everyone else had told me to. Just like my mind was telling me to. For that moment there, I wanted to go against Mrs. Torres' wishes. I wanted to take out what the Rebel Russo I used to be and say no, but I couldn't, because she was a mother and not only could she read through her daughter, but she probably could read through me. Just by the way she was looking at me; I knew that she was aware of how I felt about her daughter, maybe even in a clearer way that I or Mitchie ever knew and even knowing that, she didn't want me to try, because sometimes if things doesn't work out at first, they will never work and she didn't want her daughter to hate me. No, asking me to stay away was Mrs. Torres telling me that if I backed off at that moment, when I could, instead of pulling the strings of the damaged relationship I had with Mitchie, I would be able to rebuild my friendship with her in the future. No more jealousy, no more drama, no more unneeded feelings. Just me and Mitchie, being the best friends we were during that one wonderful week we spent hanging out, before we decided on what we wanted from each other, before we went on and risked it all. Just the best friends I was sure we both needed.

"Yes, Mrs. Torres, I will." I said, my voice being barely a whisper. "But I can't promise you that she's not going to cry tonight."

She nodded. "Better now than later, don't you think?" I smiled, sadly. "And you should do it, too, Alex. You might need it."

I looked down, again, staring at my untied shoe laces. "I will bring her back around 8 o'clock, is that okay?"

I didn't even have to look at her to know she was smiling. I didn't even have to say anything to know I was doing the right thing and doing the right thing never felt as bittersweet as it did in that moment. "Thank you, Alex."

"Anything for her, Mrs. Torres."

IIIIIIII

"What were you talking with my mom about there, huh?" Mitchie asked, once she finished whatever she was doing with her grandmother and we got out of the house to take a walk around the town. "It seemed quite serious."

"Nothing, really, we were just… saying goodbye." I replied, placing my hands inside my jeans' pockets. I looked over to her, smiling. "Are you ready for senior year? Have you decided on any school yet?"

Mitchie grinned. "No and kind of." She looked at her steps. "I just hope everyone has finally forgotten about whatever happened with Joe and let me finish high school in peace and I always wanted to go to NYU, but I might just stay home and go to UCLA, I don't know. It's still a 'we'll see' situation."

"Sounds good."

"Yeah, what about you, though? Is London still in your plans?" I raised an eyebrow, surprised. She shrugged. "You mentioned it when we met."

"You know, when I was younger, I always thought college would be the best thing on the world, but now, that time has slipped by and college is around the corner, I can't see myself in the halls of a school, you know?" I answered, still surprised that she remembered that as we took a sit in the beach at the park we found ourselves in after a while of walking. "However, London was always _the _plan and I don't know, maybe if I skip college, I can get a job and work my ass off until I have enough money to move and try to find luck there." I smiled, looking at the sky. "I have always wanted to be an artist and I think I will learn to be one in a school. In order for that to happen, I need to see the world, to find inspiration out there. So I don't know; I am just letting time come so I can decide on what to do."

"Well, Alex, that seems like a very well structured plan." Mitchie replied, her smile being noticeable in her voice. "And I truly believe in your talent, you know." I looked back at her. "New York, London, wherever it is, I know that you will make it."

"Thank you, Mitch, I really appreciate it." She smiled, again. "And if NYU is what you want, you should give it a try. I think they would be very lucky to have you in their files."

By having a random chat, like the ones we used to have when we met, just to get to know each other, was our own unspoken way to avoid the goodbye as much as we could. By that point, we both knew it was going to happen. If she heard my conversation with her mother or not, I will never know. If she just knew by being around me that a decision had been taken, that was something only Mitchie herself would know. The good thing was that neither of us was bitter. In fact, we were kind of making the most out of the time we had left, avoiding fights that always came along with the discussion of very well-known hidden feelings. We talked, we smiled, we laugh and we sang together that day. We looked up at the sky, looked for shapes as we laid on the grass and we just enjoyed a summer day that was completely different to what we were used to. It was the date I didn't allow us to have after she cheated on me. It was the date we didn't have during the time we dated, because we weren't together. It was the date that was never categorized as a date.

Simple as this, it just was us enjoying everything out of nothing.

When the moment of saying goodbye came along, we walked side by side, in our way back to her grandmother's house, without saying a word. We listened to the crickets sing, to our steps, to our breathing. We would casually glance at each other from time to time but no words were needed for what we felt that night. Somewhere in the way back, I swallowed the pride, the hurt and the guilt, extending my hand and holding Mitchie's as tight as I could. She intertwined our fingers and we walked hand in hand for the few blocks left to reach our destination. _It was painful, but it was worth it. _

When we were in the front door of her grandmother's house, she stood in front of me and took my other hand, intertwining our fingers as well, putting our hands close to our faces. Then, she connected her eyes to mine and words still weren't needed. I knew then that I would have done anything, but it always was out of my hands. We had too much history behind us. Everything we both had ever done wrong was going to be used against us in moments of anger and everything we did right was going to pass unnoticed. Despite everything, even when she was the worst yet the best decision I had ever made, I was never going to regret falling in love with everything that she did and those beautiful and bright brown eyes that were looking back at me with tears falling out of them and for a moment, I didn't care about the world. I didn't care that her grandmother's house as next to my grandmother's house. I didn't care that anyone could walk by us and see it. I just didn't care about anything else but me and her. I took a step forward and our noses touched; our eyes still in each other. I let go of her hands and place my own on her waist, pulling her closer to me. She placed her hands on my shoulders and I closed the gap between us, joining our lips together for the last time.

Trying to explain what I felt as our lips moved together in sync, trying to capture all the emotion we had felt for one another in that year we had knowing each other, would be impossible. That kiss represented all the things we never did, the dates we never went on, the fights we never held and the words we never said. That kiss represented the party where we met, just as the party where she asked me I still had yet to answer. But most of it, that kiss represented that we both were so tired of fighting for and with each other that we had come to a silent agreement neither of us wanted. When we pulled away, she looked at my eyes again and then hugged me, crying as hard as she could in my shoulder. I tried to hold myself together, but there really was no use. I cried with her, in the middle of the street, still not caring about anything and just like that, I said it.

"I love you." I said, my voice breaking right after I said those three words I had avoided to say all along. "I have loved you since that day when you sang Hey There Delilah to me, remember?" She pulled away from the hug and looked at my eyes, her stare breaking my heart. "I always loved you and maybe that's why I couldn't bring myself to forgive you. And yes, I do feel something for Alison and to be quite honest I don't know what it is, but that doesn't mean that my feelings for you ever changed but I have to let you go and you know that. But even though that, know that I did love you with everything in me and I want to believe that maybe, in the future, we are going to walk into each other in the streets of New York and we both are going to be happy. Maybe we'll have found the love of our lives by then or maybe it would be just us realizing that we really were meant to each other all along and that waiting for it was worth it but for now, we've got to go in our own ways. You understand what I'm saying, Mitch?" She nodded, probably being unable to say a thing. In fact, I even was surprised I still was talking. "I never meant to break your heart, to play with your feelings for so long when I could have said this from the very beginning. I am just not good with words."

She dedicated me a heartbreaking smile as she moved her hands from my shoulders to my face, taking it by my cheeks. "I know, Alex, I know." Her voice sounded so weak and so sad that I could feel my own heart slowing breaking at the sound of it. "That was all I needed to hear." She looked down for a second and then back to me. "And don't apologize, because I somehow deserved everything. I always loved you, though, and I think I have left it clear enough. Just don't forget it, okay? I love you and I'm sorry for everything I did, I really am."

"I forgive you." I murmured and she smiled sadly, again.

"Thank you, Lex." She placed her forehead against mine and we stayed silent for a while, just looking at each other and still crying. However, I think I'm safe to say that we both felt at peace at that moment. She looked down again, still with the hint of a sad smile on her face. "So I guess this is it, isn't it?"

"I guess it is." I replied, smiling just in the same way as her. "I really am going to miss you, though."

"I will miss you too, but" She moved her hands from my face and placed them in my shoulders again, feeling the leather. "I know you're in good hands."

"I hope so."

"I know you are." Mitchie sighed and looked at my eyes, again.

"I love you, California." I said, making her let out a laugh.

"I love you too, New York."

Letting go of Mitchie Torres probably was the hardest thing I have ever done to date. Nevertheless, I knew that no matter how much things could change, she was always going to be Mitchie and I was always to be Alex and that alone made us connect in ways nobody else would understand. I knew she was something that was always going to be with me. Maybe it was a box in my room, a song in the beach or late calls at night, something pulled me to her and that was the hope for the future, as whatever life decided us to be. What we had would always hold a special place in my heart, just like I knew it would be in her mind every day until she finally moved on. Nonetheless, there was one thing that would never, ever change. I would always write, talk, draw and sing about her and she would always have the kind of bright eyes you never forget.

But most of it, it was always going to be me and her against the world and nothing would ever be as right as knowing that was.

**THE END**


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